Random Thoughts of the Evo

First thing, someone on facebook mentioned the Departed which is probably the only mafia/gangster/thriller movie I have no only endured, but repeatedly watched because I love it. Seriously, it is packed with huge names which I can't remember because I'm a faces not names person and it's such black humour too. Jack Nicholson. Can't remember the rest. I want to say Matt Damon but it's probably not, let's face it.

Next would be...something important...Went home early today. I literally did less interesting things than I would have done at school. I watched loose women, I watched Leap Year and I read Cosmo. My life could not be any more mundane.

I feel fat and unhealthy.

Chocolate milkshake is one of the worst things to spill onto your clothes or hands, it's the most foul smelling residue I've had to sit with. It was just really funky smelling and didn't come off my hands for ages. Be careful with your shakes people!

Oh, Evo. That was the important thing. Okay it wasn't, but to me it was. People do not understand my use of the words Morn, Avo and Evo. Simple answer - nobody created shortened versions of Morning, Afternoon and Evening (which are pretty long words for common use or texting) so behold, Morn, Avo, Evo. Great aren't they, they look so adorable when written in a set!

My computer gave me a heart attack earlier. I (gently) threw it onto the bed to go get a drink and it decided to turn off. Then it wouldn't turn back on. I had to shuffled the battery in and out twice, press the power button about fourty times and shake it like a polaroid picture before it showed any signs of life. But we're okay now aren't we lappy?

And lastly, I think I was hypnotised when not paying attention to have a wildly erratic reaction to doorbells. If a doorbell goes I literally jump out of my skin and want to answer it more than I want to live. I cannot stand people who are slow to the door. Don't try and stop me! That little bing-bong just sends me into a little fit of despair and frantic scrabbling. Urgh.

That is all, goodnight!
P.s Should I make this blog public? Don't have to comment, just tell me in one way or another. Commenting is effort to check XD

Post 199

I like that number. This is going to be a random blog, I can't be arsed with structure today, that's what my whole day lacked.

I've started talking to my diary more again, she's new. Red leather bound and called Cherie, I think she's a new favourite. Gives me wrist cramp to write it but it means I do small bursts throughout the day so I don't miss some of the thoughts that pop into my head. I have addressed many things today such as how revision seems futile in the face of exams, how much my friends mean to me, would I still choose Joe if we were on take me out, would he still choose me, what I'd want to happen if I was brain dead, why Alice in Wonderland is so awesome and soon I'm probably going to write about a few things I want to happen when I'm older.
Those are things like I want to own a chair that is specifically for reading and phone calls, a big comfy one or a Freud lounger or something, and I want a bookcase full of favourites to dip into like never ending chocolates. I'm torn over whether I want to own a cat or not, I don't know if the life I want is suited for pets.

What other things have crossed my mind today?... Hum. Oh another thing I want to own is a big wooden chest, perhaps with a combination lock on. I'm going to store all of my diaries in it like a treasure trove and hopefully stop myself reading back. Maybe one day they'll come in handy. Or at least they'll all be in one place so easy to save in a fire. I won't be having all my darlings burn to a crisp. Poor Sian, Valentine, Romeo, Book of nonsense one and two, Nikki, Mira, Beau, Belle, Cherie and all of the rest.

I've had a few quotes of the day today, ones I tend to fixate on because they come up that day. Todays are "you shape your life, no-one else" "It's never too late to be who you might have been" and "Nothing is achieved with tears". The last was said by the caterpillar in the newest Alice in Wonderland film, which I watched today as you might've guessed. In fact I'll type up that diary entry.
"I love Alice in Wonderland,It's amazing that this mad old story came from one man's mind. It's so clever with it's poetry, riddles and rhymes.The new movie captures all of the magic and madness but none of the cleverness. And it doesn't follow the story line. At least the first movie tries." So there you go, that's my opinions for you.

Bored now. Let's play a game! I'll slide a bookmark into my old diary, Nikki and promise to type up whatever I land on. Here goes! Actually, I've done that three times and each one was very private and had a secret thought in so I won't type them. So much for that. Oh well. It was fun for me :D.

Let's play a different game! I'll slide a bookmark into N.G's Pleasure and will type up that page so you have some lovely advice and whatnot to live by. :D Let's go!
"Passion craves quietness, security and calm - states hard to attain in romantic love. And sometimes, as the worm turns, hurting is a way of holding someone. Suicide can be a way of hurting. Why did Ian choose to stain his lover's future so much? Isn't true love a desire for the other person's happiness? Why did I want to do it? Among other things, to stamp my fiance's life forever with the memory what what he'd done to me. I thought, once, that there was something so passionate and brave about what Ian had done. Now I just wish he'd grown up and known other women - journeyed to a point where he could look back and laugh. I wonder, years later, if he could reflect on his actions and he'd think, 'Damn it, why did I do it? For her?'. I suspect he would. And that breaks my heart."
So there you go, don't commit suicide to stain someone elses life. It's a foolish decision. As Bertrand Russell said, love is wise and hatred is foolish. Actually that's no so fitting now I think about it.

Anyways, blog over. I'm satisfied that I have rambled enough.

General thoughts

Well today I realised a few things.
I haven't organised to see anyone outside of school for a long time, and people have become less bothered by it too.
I spend a huge amount of time fantisising about the future when I used to never look past tomorrow
I'm trying to force myself to grow up on the outside, whilst keeping my inner child more fiery and alive than ever. I want to appear like a woman, go to Uni and to work and buy a house and then go to swimming pools and pretend I'm a dolphin.
I want to be at Uni more than anything in the world right now. I want that freedom and responsibility and everything that comes with it!
I am addicted to shopping online. 

Other than that, everything is fine. I'm pretty happy.

Inner Monologue

Much too tired to post a real blog.

I love Twilight. Or rather I love the romance side of Twilight and not the action part, I want to skip that bit and just read the tantilising tension between Bella and Edward.

I wish I had more energy, more time in the day.

Stress levels are at an all time high.

I think too much.

I criticise too much, stick in reverie and self-analysis all the time.

I realised at last where all my clothes were going - my sister managed to steal about 5 pairs of undies, 3 shirts and 3 socks. Yes. Three socks, none of them matched. How annoying. She gave me some old tops though. Green, that's a new concept for me.

I wish I wore more colours.

I need sellotape to stick that bus ticket to the growing line of bus tickets. I'm pretty sure it's not normal to stick bus tickets in a line, side by side. Oh how I wish they were chronological. That was the word I lost the other day! Found it. Yay.

Oh, I organised my t-shirt draw today by style. I have vest top and tank top pile, normal tees pile and then collared or long top style. What fun, it make me so happy.

I saw my cousins today. One has put on loads of weight because of the medication she is on and the other has lost it by eating McDonalds. Crazyballs. Watch out for them.

Night!

I've been thinking...

I don't want to say it outright but alot of the people who know me should know this fact. I'm open minded, I appreciate alot of things and I'm totally not judgemental. Also I'm pretty up for anything.

So there! I sort of didn't say it but I feel better about myself!