My Day - Episode Six

It was fine.

Too much work as always, trudging through regretfully.

Almost cried on the bus for undisclosed reasons.

xx Forever Belle

Hello?

First of all. Who is actually reading these? Much appreciated if you could comment so I can actually get a look see on who I'm talking to.

Continuing on with more pressing matters, my weekend. Awesome! Basically I thought I would be staying at my mums this weekend and hugging my computer as it's finally back to life. No idea how much I missed it, BUT I SURVIVED! Ha. So I thought I'd be here, tapping away, maybe go to this gorgeous shop Desigual which is like a semi-designer shop with loads of pathwork, crazy colours and prints.

Buutt. Ended up I went to me dad's for the weekend. Got some chinese noodles for dinner/breakfast. Yummers. Then popped over to the boyf's where we played Halo: ODST. For a girl who doesn't actually own an Xbox360 I think I played pretty well, kept up almost on par with the boyf. Not with P.D (P.Diddy, Ha!) as he is mega.
Then we watched Pulp Fiction, good movie, didn't live up to the hype to be honest. And we had an Austin Powersathon where we watched all three movies over the course of the night and morning. Stayed in bed snuggling and being warm until about one in the afternoon.

I played with Hama beads, for those of you who don't know it's like little beads you make patterns out of on a spikey board and iron and they melt and stick together. Never got to play with them as a kid and so happy I finally got a go. I made a cute love heart and mine and boy's names. Yes, I'm sappy and sad.

Had to walk back to my dads in the pouring rain with my overnight bag and stuff I bought from primark and towing my bike. Boyf tried to shelter me with an umbrella but my right arm was totally out and I was soaked to the skin. Not. Happy.

Then came back to mums and me and Sissy have ordered a nice Dominoes pizza with cheesy garlic bread, chicken strippers and cookies. Oh yes. Now I am happy.

My Day - Episode Five

Today was a lovely day!

Woke up, had a reasonable normal breakfast - eggy bread. Listened to the whole new Mika album on my journey to school, that's how long it is! Then had a general excited feeling for the whole day, despite the fact I thought it was Wednesday when it was actually Thursday, much confusion. Good debates on topics such as Euthanasia, Organ Transplants and Abortion in my structured study. Fun Bio lesson. Nice.

Boyf makes me happy recently, apart from the slap incident, he's been perfect. Looking so kissable and loads of people compliment me and tell me how lucky I am to have him. I feel lucky and happy happy happy people.

For all you people still pondering my previous crush, stop! It's a blog which is supposedly meant to keep everyone anonymous..ish. Nosy buggars! Update on him. He's talking to me again and still referring to me as "apple of my desire". I think he's moved on, apparently he's been trying to wiggle his way into some other girls pants. Thank fuck. Mind your language. Sorry.

Anyways, Flame as I have started to refer to him, has again been confusing. I got another wink the other day, ignored today and for two days on the trot we had a reasonably conversation. Ridiculous. He seems to be alot better with his girlfriend, problems sort themselves out to make way for the next in their world.
My actual liking for him is starting to wane again. Oh! I was wearing a low cut top the other day and when he noticed I got a shocked gasp and stare, mostly in a jokey way. Then he tried to cover me up which to me was funny. I like the attention but really I just felt a bit crushed. He doesn't want to look at me like I'm attractive so I'm giving up again. Pointless to even like him, never mind pining after what I can't have. Besides, I'd only get him and finally go "Don't want it anymore." Knowing me.
Enough flame talk.

I got a D in my Psychology test today. Gutted. I'm meant to getting an A overall so that is just a little too far off for comfort really. Oh well I suppose, I'll just make sure I do a bit better in the next one.

My sis bought my a new diary for my birthday and I am soo looking forward to switching. Currently I'm on Lily, the one after Belle. I think I may call the next one Beau. It's cute to say 'cause it sounds like Bo and it still means beautiful! ((Actually it means like handsome, admirer or sweetheart;) )) Which is how life should feel really.

Anyways, I'm rambling. And welcome to the boyf who is a follower of the Belle Blog now. I'll still continue to bitch about him though, don't worry folks. :)

The Internet

IT LIVES

My Day - Episode Four

Well today was mainly uneventful. Woke up, had some lovely cheesey pasta for breakfast, yes breakfast.
In my free my boyfriend searched for a picture of a girl in a bikini and then sat there nodding in approval. He got a swift slap for that and then when he cornered me later to try and find out what was wrong, obviously he was too dim to have twigged, I kneed him (very gently) in the balls. Deserved I have to say. You don't pin a girl to the wall to find out what you did wrong, that just screams "kick me."
At lunch I felt bad cause I sat on a table with two friends with all of my crew, took up the whole table and B.S came over red-faced and embaressed and was like "You didn't save me a seat!" and then stormed off, threw her lunch in the bin and didn't eat. Now I felt bad but the two who were meant to save her a seat said "She's only trying to make us feel bad. I don't get a moment alone now, she's constantly there or texting me like 'can I sit with you?'. She has other friends but she relies on me totally which is unfair. I don't feel bad. I've done nothing wrong." To be honest I think she is right.

I spoke to my flame today. He looked totally hot yesterday, rain swept and in sporty clothes, muscles galore. Today he just looked totally out of it, him and his girlfriend are having problems and he really just doesn't need it on top of his work load. Poor thang.

I also went swimming today, wore my trampiest clothes ever which was hilarious. Had a nice laugh with H.P who I went with. We basically do a couple of lengths and then go and get crisps. We suck, but hey.
While we were waiting for the bus we were at the stop talking when the bus totally drove past us! He didn't even stop so I ran to the junction and like mouthed at the guy "What the fuck?!?" and he just drove off. I had to wait another twenty minutes in the dark, cold, rainy, miserable night on my own. Not happy.

Finally got home, had a long hot shower and now I'm off to do my hair for tommorow and chill out.

Computer still isn't working, internets still down. We are going to call someone in to fix it. Until then, I'll sneak moments on my mum's and sister's computers.

Love Belle.

The damned computer

I am going to kill my computer, mums partner and the internet one of these days. It may be difficult to take a knife to the internets throat but I will do it. Trust me.

Basically trying to revive my internet tonight and got mum's partner to help as we managed to fix it last time it went skitz like this. He started pressing buttons here there and everywhere, not only did he almost stumble across some rather indecent pictures, but he also broke the computer totally. On starting up it came up with a message saying that a file was cirrupt so it couldn't start up. So I've just had to do another system recovery and have now lost ALL of my photos, word documents and everything. I don't have a scrap left.

Ironically one of the only things that survived were the indecent pictures.

Now I'm using my sisters computer and my mum is completely mad at me because we're gonna have to call out 'the guy'to fix it which will cost around forty quid. To say the least, my night is not going well.

Frustration

OH MY GOD I JUST WROTE OUT A MASSIVE POST AND THEN PRESSED A BUTTON AND IT DISSAPEARED!

Now I have to rewrite. It was already called Frustration before and now it's just gotten even worse.

My first frustration is my computer's internet being completely out. I have an adaptor, we have a router which works, we have the pass code and I.P address and yet, it still refuses to work. This was all because last week my computer clapped out on me and my Dad had to do a completely system restore. This got rid of all my programs and basically I had to start from scratch again.

Next frustration is my crush turned creepy. He threatened to turn up at my door on Sunday (He didn't thank god) and was texting me every couple of hours all week, despite me trying to fob him off. This was all because he cottoned on to my crush and wanted to take further action. Hear me now: NOOOOOOOOO.
Crushes are the look but don't touch, think but not act. You can't take a crush further, especially with the beloved boyf on the scene.

My old flame has been acting strange. One minute he will be smiling at me, then he will act like I don't exist, then he will wink at me, call me a bitch 'as a joke' and then get all defensive over me. Is it just me that doesn't understand this male behaviour? Someone enlighten me! So obviously this has all peaked my interest in him. *Sigh*

Anyways, gotta run, lesson ends soon. (Rebel)

The past week

WELL!

Where do I begin? I last spoke to you on the fifteenth - mum's birthday. Came back from my dads, handing my computer Charlie over reluctantly. Then monday was boring... tuesday I was meant to go swimming with H.P but she cancelled again, family stuff. And then wednesday I watched true blood, I can't stop myself! It's so addictive, although that episode wasn't as exciting as others I have to say. Thursday was my birthday, and my boyfs b'day. I gave him a ukelele for his b'day, he wanted one and I'm an awesome person so there. I got a book called Pleasure : An Almanac For the Heart by Nikki Gemmel. She wrote a very frisky book called The Bride Stripped Bare that I basically fell in love with. Now that she's not anonymous, she's just awesome.... Anyways, pleasure is basically a guide to life, advice on all the parts of a womans life, completely uncensored. I'm in love.
Continuing, boyf also got me tickets to go see the new Twilight movie: New Moon. So much better than I thought it was going to be. Topless men galore. Embarassing moment: My phone has an alarm that goes off at ten O'clock to tell me to take my pill and it won't stop going off until you press a button to shut it up. You guesses it, even though my phone was off, it switched itself back on to play this screaming alarm in the middle of the movie. I was sooo embaressed, boyf had to help me out of my fluster. To make it worse, it was then on and my friend texted me!! The horror.

That was Friday night, and then I went home, got some well liked sleep. Woke up, had chinese noodles for breakfast - best meal ever. Then went over to boyf's house. We played on Fable, which I am addicted to. <3 Then he had a party thang round his house with peeps. There was around 9 people there, and our two beloved friends A.G and H.S finally made out after seven months of waiting. They both went home, separately before you guys start making up rumours. :o le gaspo. Anyways, they went home and seven people stayed. Out of those seven, FOUR threw up. The worst was flirty friend T.S who was sick all over the bedroom and our poor victim of a friend P.D. Poor guy.
To end it all we slept downstairs on the couch and left the sick people upstairs.
Still was an awesome night though.

My crush has now ended and an old flame has been fed, as it was never out, just put on low.

Much newses

New News number one!
My mum's birthday is today! Woo! Happy birthday momma! <3

New News number two!
I went out TWICE to parties this weekend. On friday there was a gig at Saint Brendans (Some dingy pub in Corby) which turned out to be crap and since I wasn't drinking, there was no point in me being there so I came home. And I felt guilty for being out so soon after the news about boyf's gran.
Oh and the other party was last night, Saturday. People ran out of drink but me not having any had a good time anyways, just hanging with people. Had a nice dance with the host. Bwahaha

New News number three!
It's my birthday and boyf's on thursday coming up! Yes, same day. "It's destinyyyyy" XD

New News number four! (Almost wrote three, that's how much I suck at maths)
Twilight- New Moon comes out Friday! I'm going to the evening showing and will probably report back once my computer gets back from the Daddy Doctors. Which brings me on to...

New News number five!
My computer has gone completely kaput. I'm writing from my computer at dad's as my usual, Charlie, has caught a bug and therefore is going to go to Daddy Doctors as he can fix anything nerdy and technical.

W.H Auden

W. H. Auden


"Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good."

Death

I just got news that my boyfriends gran passed away this morning. She had lung cancer and we only found that out recently, so it was a bit of a shock.
I haven't had anyone close to me die and she was like a grandparent to me. At my prom she came up and held my hands in hers and said "I'm so glad that you are with Luke, you look beautiful."

I don't want to say any more.

Organ Donation

This is something I always had a very fixed opinion on. I grew them, they are mine. Tough luck.

I believed that if there was some sort of afterlife, I would want to be totally whole in person when I get there.

It sounds kind of sad but after watching one movie my eyes have been opened as to how selfish I may have been. Seven Pounds is an amazing movie, heart breaking in the kindest of ways. It really made me re-think about what I want to happen after I die.

I never have wanted to be buried, the idea of rotting away in a box never appealed to me or really any of my family, so cremation was the way forwards for me. And then in Philosophy we've done alot of religious theories about conciousness, soul and being human. It really makes to re-assess what you think and I eventually came to the conclusion that mind and soul/spirit are separate in some way. How either got there, don't know, don't really care.
But I do believe that our bodies will all rot or be burnt but our life does not end in total, our spirit cannot be harmed by the physical and the action of donating organs wouldn't take away any part of me, so why not?

When you are seventeen you are allowed to go on the list to give permission for your organs to be used after death. The possibilities of how many people you could save are incredible, and not even just bringing people past the brink of death but giving people more to live for. Giving a blind person the ability to see, someone who lives off dialysis could finally have those long hours back in their life and eat what they want, enjoy life. And of course people who loose hearts, kidneys and lungs to disease and may never find a doner after years on a list of priorities.

More and more people are being put on a 'to-do list' and I want to have the opportunity to save even one after I'm gone.
If you are one of these people with a seventeenth birthday approaching, let your thoughts wander as to whether you want to become part of something bigger.


Apologies for getting a little deep, just felt that some things need to be said.

My Day - Episode Three

Well today I just felt busy busy busy. Morning was Psychology, then English and everyone was tense because there was supposed to be a fire alarm and English had lots of group switching and it was rush rush rush!
Then I had a free and got a reasonable amount of work done - for a free that is. Printers hate me. I hate flashing lights from now on.
Then we had Biology and I got really into it, I love learning new theories in lots of detail and the way Mr H teaches is kinda kooky but memorable. "Come on Thymine."
Philosophy was a snore.

Got home and grabbed a wrap, mum had a go at me for overdosing on philidelphia, it goes with EVERYTHING! And then I set off to go swimming with H.P. I love that girl, barely have any lessons with her and we still managed to stay just as close as in year 7, she's a doll. <3

And now I'm chatting with my crush online while wondering what I'm going to do with boyf this weekend, finally a moment to chillax!

Crushes

I think that everyone is allowed crushes, old, young, male, female, straight, gay, bisexual, asexual, single, taken, married - everyone.

Crushes are there to get you hot under the collar without commitment or pressure or any of that bollocks.

I love having crushes. But the guy I have a crush on now is definately off the beaten track for me and everyone, so why?

Well he's a gentleman, sweet, good-looking in an old fashioned soldier sort of way. And boy does he look nice in uniform. ;)

All hot under the collar. ^^

Elaborating

My last post was meant to be an explanation included however I didn't really get around to that.

Last friday my boyfriend went to a party round someone's house and I didn't know them and couldn't be arsed so didn't go.
I was of the opinion that all had gone well and everything was hunky dory.
I texted him on the Saturday morning as we were organising to meet up with friends for the day. He said he felt sick and putting two and two together: Hangover.
I left him for a few more hours to recover until eventually he dragged himself out of bed and we got together with friends round his house and had a wonderful time. One fried who had arrived late needed to grab some dinner so I went with him to get a kebab, he had also been at said party and told me that boyf had been smoking pot part of the night in the garage.

He had once had a toke of a spliff at the busstop and I had gone skitz at him warning him that if he decided to go down that route again I would be severely dissapointed and my opinion of him would totally change- what do you know, he does it again.
I confronted him about it when the party died down a little and he insisted it was only one toke and the only reason he seemed so bad was because he had mixed a bit of drink with drugs and it had had a bad affect.
I said okay and that I wasn't too bothered, his choice and all.

We had a nice saturday and sunday
Sunday night I had a late night anyways and watched a movie. finally got to sleep at half eleven and quarter past midnight my phone starts ringing.
It's Luke, confessing all in the middle of the night. "Babe it wasn't just one toke I had probably more than three and I was there for more of the night."
Obv I was not only completely tired and out of it, but pissed that he had rang my up in the middle of the night. I can't even remember what I said. I sort of a had a moan, told him it was okay really and to leave me to sleep.
Then on tuesday night I rang him to talk it over and it suddenly comes up that a girl in our year randomly hit on him and he was saved by one of his mates who took her off his hands! Yet another thing he had hidden from me.

I was not a happy bunny to say the least.

Obv this was all a while ago and it's pretty much died down now and is okay, but WHAT AN ASS!

Shannanigans

The boyf has been a naughty boy

How horrid

Just found out that my sister has read my diaries a few times. Realllyyyy annoying. She had good intentions but a girl does need her privacy you know.
She'd better not read my new one, it's a bit explicit! XD