My dirty little secret is....

I've fallen back in love with anime. Schock horror!
I won't say which one I'm watching but it's not one of the giants which has like 300 episodes, that would just really tire me, never being able to see the end.

So yeah, it's really cute. I'm at my boyfriends house. He's just got out the shower and smells absolutely scrumptious, I could just eat him up. ^^

I'm trying to watch it but it's wireless internet connection so it's pretty damn useless to be honest.
Apparently we are going out tonight with his aunty and uncle. Hopefully I can skank an invite. I got him the main bulk of his Xmas pressy today when I was out in the town with the Krewe. Helped P.H start getting pressies aswell. He's got absolutely no idea.

So anyways, today we met up to hang around town and ended up getting pizza and sitting about boyf's house just having a laugh and eating.
New member B.H had her first day out with the Krewe and she did look a little bit awkward to start off with but she commented that she thought out Krewe was lovely and that she enjoyed herself, so that made me feel nice.

In regards to other things. Crush is pretty much gone. Flame I now pretty much hate. Family is all good, christmas is shaping up well although I still have a few presents to get an literally only days to get them. I've even pretty much sorted out new year aswell.

Unfaithful

I feel it in the air
As I'm doing my hair
Preparing for another date
A kiss upon my cheek
As he reluctantly
Asks if I'm gonna be out late
I say I won't be long
Just hanging with the girls
A lie I didn't have to tell
Because we both know
Where I'm about to go
And we know it very well

Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer

Our love, his trust
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head
Get it over with

FRICKING HELL!

I finally got so frustrated with Flames antics I asked to talk to him online. He come on and seemed a little pissed at me to be honest.

When I asked him if he felt anything for me he said he didn't and in fact our previous relations had only reminded him how much he loves his girlfriend and would never want to do anything to hurt her or betray her.

So basically I was nothing, am nothing and will always be nothing to him.

What an ass! How dare he string me along and send out false messages to me! All this time I've been lusting after him and wondering 'what ifs' he's actually been on a completely different wavelength daydreaming about his beloved girlfriend.

Well to be honest I've been a bit of a dick. My boyf has apparently been reading this although it doesn't seem it, he doesn't ask about the content. I really love the boyf and he's an absolute doll. But I need drama in my life! Passion, love, anger, romance, frustration, a theme tune!

At least now I have closure.

My Day - Episode Five

Today was a lovely day!

Woke up, had a reasonable normal breakfast - eggy bread. Listened to the whole new Mika album on my journey to school, that's how long it is! Then had a general excited feeling for the whole day, despite the fact I thought it was Wednesday when it was actually Thursday, much confusion. Good debates on topics such as Euthanasia, Organ Transplants and Abortion in my structured study. Fun Bio lesson. Nice.

Boyf makes me happy recently, apart from the slap incident, he's been perfect. Looking so kissable and loads of people compliment me and tell me how lucky I am to have him. I feel lucky and happy happy happy people.

For all you people still pondering my previous crush, stop! It's a blog which is supposedly meant to keep everyone anonymous..ish. Nosy buggars! Update on him. He's talking to me again and still referring to me as "apple of my desire". I think he's moved on, apparently he's been trying to wiggle his way into some other girls pants. Thank fuck. Mind your language. Sorry.

Anyways, Flame as I have started to refer to him, has again been confusing. I got another wink the other day, ignored today and for two days on the trot we had a reasonably conversation. Ridiculous. He seems to be alot better with his girlfriend, problems sort themselves out to make way for the next in their world.
My actual liking for him is starting to wane again. Oh! I was wearing a low cut top the other day and when he noticed I got a shocked gasp and stare, mostly in a jokey way. Then he tried to cover me up which to me was funny. I like the attention but really I just felt a bit crushed. He doesn't want to look at me like I'm attractive so I'm giving up again. Pointless to even like him, never mind pining after what I can't have. Besides, I'd only get him and finally go "Don't want it anymore." Knowing me.
Enough flame talk.

I got a D in my Psychology test today. Gutted. I'm meant to getting an A overall so that is just a little too far off for comfort really. Oh well I suppose, I'll just make sure I do a bit better in the next one.

My sis bought my a new diary for my birthday and I am soo looking forward to switching. Currently I'm on Lily, the one after Belle. I think I may call the next one Beau. It's cute to say 'cause it sounds like Bo and it still means beautiful! ((Actually it means like handsome, admirer or sweetheart;) )) Which is how life should feel really.

Anyways, I'm rambling. And welcome to the boyf who is a follower of the Belle Blog now. I'll still continue to bitch about him though, don't worry folks. :)

My Day - Episode Four

Well today was mainly uneventful. Woke up, had some lovely cheesey pasta for breakfast, yes breakfast.
In my free my boyfriend searched for a picture of a girl in a bikini and then sat there nodding in approval. He got a swift slap for that and then when he cornered me later to try and find out what was wrong, obviously he was too dim to have twigged, I kneed him (very gently) in the balls. Deserved I have to say. You don't pin a girl to the wall to find out what you did wrong, that just screams "kick me."
At lunch I felt bad cause I sat on a table with two friends with all of my crew, took up the whole table and B.S came over red-faced and embaressed and was like "You didn't save me a seat!" and then stormed off, threw her lunch in the bin and didn't eat. Now I felt bad but the two who were meant to save her a seat said "She's only trying to make us feel bad. I don't get a moment alone now, she's constantly there or texting me like 'can I sit with you?'. She has other friends but she relies on me totally which is unfair. I don't feel bad. I've done nothing wrong." To be honest I think she is right.

I spoke to my flame today. He looked totally hot yesterday, rain swept and in sporty clothes, muscles galore. Today he just looked totally out of it, him and his girlfriend are having problems and he really just doesn't need it on top of his work load. Poor thang.

I also went swimming today, wore my trampiest clothes ever which was hilarious. Had a nice laugh with H.P who I went with. We basically do a couple of lengths and then go and get crisps. We suck, but hey.
While we were waiting for the bus we were at the stop talking when the bus totally drove past us! He didn't even stop so I ran to the junction and like mouthed at the guy "What the fuck?!?" and he just drove off. I had to wait another twenty minutes in the dark, cold, rainy, miserable night on my own. Not happy.

Finally got home, had a long hot shower and now I'm off to do my hair for tommorow and chill out.

Computer still isn't working, internets still down. We are going to call someone in to fix it. Until then, I'll sneak moments on my mum's and sister's computers.

Love Belle.

Frustration

OH MY GOD I JUST WROTE OUT A MASSIVE POST AND THEN PRESSED A BUTTON AND IT DISSAPEARED!

Now I have to rewrite. It was already called Frustration before and now it's just gotten even worse.

My first frustration is my computer's internet being completely out. I have an adaptor, we have a router which works, we have the pass code and I.P address and yet, it still refuses to work. This was all because last week my computer clapped out on me and my Dad had to do a completely system restore. This got rid of all my programs and basically I had to start from scratch again.

Next frustration is my crush turned creepy. He threatened to turn up at my door on Sunday (He didn't thank god) and was texting me every couple of hours all week, despite me trying to fob him off. This was all because he cottoned on to my crush and wanted to take further action. Hear me now: NOOOOOOOOO.
Crushes are the look but don't touch, think but not act. You can't take a crush further, especially with the beloved boyf on the scene.

My old flame has been acting strange. One minute he will be smiling at me, then he will act like I don't exist, then he will wink at me, call me a bitch 'as a joke' and then get all defensive over me. Is it just me that doesn't understand this male behaviour? Someone enlighten me! So obviously this has all peaked my interest in him. *Sigh*

Anyways, gotta run, lesson ends soon. (Rebel)

The past week

WELL!

Where do I begin? I last spoke to you on the fifteenth - mum's birthday. Came back from my dads, handing my computer Charlie over reluctantly. Then monday was boring... tuesday I was meant to go swimming with H.P but she cancelled again, family stuff. And then wednesday I watched true blood, I can't stop myself! It's so addictive, although that episode wasn't as exciting as others I have to say. Thursday was my birthday, and my boyfs b'day. I gave him a ukelele for his b'day, he wanted one and I'm an awesome person so there. I got a book called Pleasure : An Almanac For the Heart by Nikki Gemmel. She wrote a very frisky book called The Bride Stripped Bare that I basically fell in love with. Now that she's not anonymous, she's just awesome.... Anyways, pleasure is basically a guide to life, advice on all the parts of a womans life, completely uncensored. I'm in love.
Continuing, boyf also got me tickets to go see the new Twilight movie: New Moon. So much better than I thought it was going to be. Topless men galore. Embarassing moment: My phone has an alarm that goes off at ten O'clock to tell me to take my pill and it won't stop going off until you press a button to shut it up. You guesses it, even though my phone was off, it switched itself back on to play this screaming alarm in the middle of the movie. I was sooo embaressed, boyf had to help me out of my fluster. To make it worse, it was then on and my friend texted me!! The horror.

That was Friday night, and then I went home, got some well liked sleep. Woke up, had chinese noodles for breakfast - best meal ever. Then went over to boyf's house. We played on Fable, which I am addicted to. <3 Then he had a party thang round his house with peeps. There was around 9 people there, and our two beloved friends A.G and H.S finally made out after seven months of waiting. They both went home, separately before you guys start making up rumours. :o le gaspo. Anyways, they went home and seven people stayed. Out of those seven, FOUR threw up. The worst was flirty friend T.S who was sick all over the bedroom and our poor victim of a friend P.D. Poor guy.
To end it all we slept downstairs on the couch and left the sick people upstairs.
Still was an awesome night though.

My crush has now ended and an old flame has been fed, as it was never out, just put on low.