Plans

I have an awesomely great weekend planned, it's crammed full of stuff that is not really to do with hanging out with friends at all so a nice change.

Today, I am going to my cousins wedding. This cousin the the son of the uncle that always got into trouble and is an absolute bundle of hilarity and who also has a daughter who has two kids (very young as well). I haven't seen my cousin for like 10 years so it's a bit weird really but I get to dress up cute and go out so yay. I also get to wear my prom dress. I am excited about being able to swish around in red silk but... I've gotten fatter and now I cannot breathe when in said dress. Cue you saying "So wear something else!"
NO. It's too darn pretty. Worth passing out from lack of oxygen. Love it. O.O

Then after the wedding I'm going back to my dads house where we will wish him a late happy fathers day and then I will sleep there, only to be shuttled off again back to mums house where we are going to have a barbecue! Attending this will be lots of Mammy's friends and family. A vague list....
Me
Sister
Sister friend 1
Sister friend 2
Sister friend 3
Him
Mammy
N-dawg
Eden
Eden mum
Eden Dad
Aunty J
Aunty N
Cousin 1
Uncle J
Aunty L
Grandad
Nana
Lesbian friend 1
Lesbian friend 2
Pub friend 1
Pub friend 2
Pub friend 3

Hopefully Him won't read this because I told him it was a small do with not many people and now it's turned into the largest event this year. Teehee!

What I'm missing...

Today I decided to stay home from school, for funsies. It's not like I'm missing much:

• I get to miss one lesson of coursework sat in a seating plan. Oh yes, a seating plan. Seventeen year olds crammed in a class room can't behave unless they are told where to sit. Effing ridick.
• I get to miss a free in the morning which Him wouldn't have been able to join me and I probably would have spiralled into a pit of boredom, wondering when he would return.
• Another free, where I get to be ignored by Curltop who currently has fallen back into being a prick most of the time. This would have been nice cause the others are lovely company but hey, it's not anything I can't catch up on.
• Teaching a year nine class of kids who are not excited or even interested in science unless they get to play with fire. Many of the kids in this class enjoy my helping and some resent me for being an extension of the teacher.
• Teaching a class of the rowdiest year tens, with additions of slut and weird sprinkled on top. None of these kids like my company, some absolutely hate me for other reasons and most ignore my presence unless I take something off them. Awesometeach and Cheshire would have been there too, but I see them tommorow anyways.
• Wednesday lunch, which sucks. I don't eat pork, the chicken they serve is mostly bone, I don't eat lamb and the beef is mainly fat and not meat. Not to mention the funky tasting potatos. If I had a pack up, I'd feel better but still not satisfied.

If I went to school I would have missed:

• Some cleaning! I like cleaning so screw you. Better cleaning than trying to take fire off year nines or sitting in a monotonous classroom...
• A cup of gorgeous tea.
• Snacking.
• Exercise (I will get round to it sometime)
• Lasagna for breakfast. Legend.
• A lie in till ten...oh heavenly.
• And in that lie in I had an amazing dream but I was woken by a text and forgot it the instant on waking. Bum.
• Not having to dress in something nice. I'm such a tramp atm. Tank top and combat three quarters. I'm a man.
• England game for the World Cup! I will be watching, even if I'm doing something else at the same time.

So as you can see, the decision was pretty easy to make.

Sorry Dudes

To y'all peeps. I am dearly sorry that I haven't blogged as much as I usually would. I got really peed when someone said "Oh, your blog is boring now, nobody wants to read it anymore." >.> Thanks.

But anyways, I shall perserve with my slightly dented enthusiasm. Recently I babysat for the first time ever and it went well, got given a cheesecake and some moneys for my effort. Which really wasn't much effort - I fell asleep after a while. Was there till gone 1! Gasp. Ah well.
Then yesterday I was out with part of the Krewe. Stag, Cheshire, Fungi, Thin One. Basically K-town lot plus Stag. It was nice. Most memorable bits were:
A random old man that none of us knew talking to Cheshire for literally about twenty minutes, she couldn't get away. We ran away. XD
Getting a ring stuck on my finger so I did that "OH NO OH NO" thing you do when that happens.
Getting incredibly hyper on a caramel milkshake, my heart was like beating in my throat and I felt so weird.
So yeah, all in all a pleasant day out. Then in the evening I was taken back to Fungis/Hims.
((I shall quickly explain this. Y'all know Fungi and Him are the same person, but I distinguish by writing Fungi if I think of him as a friend, one of the Krewe and Him when he my boyfriend, one and only blah blah. Gottit?))
So then I met Him's family (Again). Saw some repeat faces, everyone was really nice and it was so sweet, I was cowering in the corner and Him's mum was like "LET'S MINGLE!" and dragged me off to go and chat to everyone. Much loveliness.

Then me and Him headed back early, we watched Cruel Intentions which is an amazing film btw and then some thing about serial killers and then beddy byes. I slept round his for the first time ever. Two people + Single bed = Not a good idea. So eventually he did hop out and slept on the floor bless him. Still, I actually fell asleep before he left so the "slept in his arms" is now complete. It was dreamy. :)

Then in the morning, we were all couply and lovely. Chilled in bed talking for about 4 hours. Then we got up, washed and dressed. I introduced him to the wonderful world of eggy bread. Oh delicio. He's a convert now. Then I watched the finale of Glee. :( It's OVER! Cries. Have to wait till fookin Januar. Hopefully True Blood will come back and I can watch that in the meantime. Had to go home then.

At home, Mum and N-dawg were in the living room. I chatted to them for a while, then gave opinions on N-dawgs new tuxes and suits. We're going to my cousins wedding on Saturday. I GET TO WEAR MY PROMDRESS! Love it. So then they went out...somewhere. My sister is out....somewhere. I'm sat at home, Radio on blastmode. Rather funny. Reggie Yates is IN LOVE with Michael Buble. He keeps calling him the Boob. :) Has anyone noticed at the end of "Your love your love your love...is my drug" Kesha, she says "I like your beard." NO JOKE. Go check.

Byyeeee :D

My Day - Episode Twenty Nine

Today has been a reasonably interesting day. This morning was Philosophy, which I found reasonably bearable would you believe. Then it was Psychology and me and Darling One had a heart to heart about some of things that had been worrying us and whatnot. We also spoke to some teachers and people about random relationships they've had. One got dumped even when holidays and flat was all on the go! Bless. Another had a creepy stalkerish girlfriend who was like super possessive.
Then third saw English Language which we basically just chilled in, I thought vaguely about my coursework. Fourth was a free. Again, nobody turned up so I walked around like a douche having only been told Cheshire would be absent. Then I gave up, went in and settled to read some Psych, got a new book out and now I'm reading 1984 and The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Nighttime. Both good books.
Then it was Bio in which we had no teacher. Everyone is fascinated by this human centipede idea at the minute, yes it's disgusting - why the hell do you KEEP youtubing it then?! Seriously, the people who find it weird but still look at the sick ones. The people who go "Get that off" have some normalcy in their lives.

So then I got home, Mother had a bad day but she was off out to watch the footy. Had some rather delicio new potatoes, bacon and egg made by moi. Twas yummers. Then we all headed out and me and the Sis were dropped off to look after some adorable kids. Little and Littler. Little is a chatterbox and for some reason thought me and Sis were a couple and kept asking why we were both girls, which was funny. I read him a dinosaur story, warmed him some milk and tucked him in bed. Lovely. Littler was conked out already. XD

So now we are just chillaxing downstairs with the footy on - 0- at the minute and no major signs of changing. Although kudos to the fans, actually managing to sing and chant right over those vuvuzelas or whatever they are. Noisy bees.
Ciaoo!

A-Z of things in my head

That rhymes if you say it right.

A- Average. Writing my personal statement has made me feel unbelieveably average, what redeeming features do I have? ...Nout?
B - Barbecue. Oh yeah, I'm gonna have one!
C - Coursework. Starting it soon, language and politics! Yay! (Freak)
D - Diet. Recently noticed my diet is atrocious and need to be healthier. (Hordes biscuits)
E - Eggs. Did you know that at the right angle, you can stand on an egg without it breaking? :O
F - Femaleness. Being female sucks. My belly aches. :(
G - Good food. Did not have this for dinner.
H - Him. Did you really expect H to be anything else?
I - Imminent happenings.
J - Jokes. Funny things from the day always fly around my head.
K - Knee high socks. Why are people so against these? I love them...
L -  Life. Bit general but I do just think about regrets and where it's going and whatnot.
M - Moods. Mine fluctuate so much! And then I feel shit.
N - Nineteen eighty-four. Excellent book. I love the idea of creating a new language to control people's range of thoughts. It's so epic.
O - Ouftits. I spend most of my day planning outfits for the next day, or events.
P - Psychology. Generally this floats about my head a lot, I enjoy the subject.
Q - Quiet. Don't like it. Wish I could play music to my day.
R - Roadkill. I saw a cat get hit by a car this morning! It ran off hurt. D:
S - Sleepover. I'm mega looking forwards to sleeping over Him's house this weekend. First time ever. :O
T - Tea. just had some, super duper yum.
U - Urges. Got a lot I need to repress. Chocolate urges, violent urgers, random weirdness urges...
V - Very good advice. The song, "I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it..Could explain the trouble that I'm always in..." Etc.
W - Weight. What sane woman doesn't worry about this?
X - Xanthe. "Nobody knows a Xanthe!"
Y - You guys. You probably pass through my mind as some point during the day.
Z - Zombieland. Watched this again recently. Love it to the max.

Another New Story.

CHAPTER ONE

Heat. The muggy pressure was covered the whole town like a blanket of cotton wool. It wasn’t bright, the sun snuck behind the clouds to chuckle as it slowly heated the air to a boil. People wiped their hands across their foreheads, flicking the beads onto the pavement with an exaggerated flourish. Children ran about with an inappropriate amount of clothes on, their heat stroked mothers too tired to care. Fathers loosened their ties in the offices whilst silently cursing the dress code.
Someone lay half hidden next to a gushing river. They were soaked through from their dip in the fresh stream. They took a deep breath, a curved defined chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm, gasping at the thick air. She propped herself up on her elbows, watching the river pass by her feet. Staying still in the river was a struggle enough, she couldn’t imagine what it would be like to try and swim against the current or to the other side. A movement in the brushes made her sit up straighter.

“Hello?” She swung her head around the surroundings, peering through the leaves to try and catch sight of the stranger who stood there. She repeated herself.
“Hello?”
“Hello.” A boy emerged from the trees, hanging his head shyly. He scuffed one foot in the dust. He was dressed in cut off jeans and an open shirt. His shirt framed a chest that wasn’t a boy’s but not a man’s either. His hair was too long for him, hanging limply over his eyes. It looked like it was brown usually but the recent sun had lightened it to a dirty blond. He peered out with grey eyes from underneath his heat-limp fringe and looked straight at her chest.
She was in a dress. A very sheer and now very wet dress. She gasped and threw her arms around herself, covering her dignity. He smiled widely and after a moment, she did too.
“I’m sorry.” He said, still smiling.
“It’s okay, I didn’t expect to see anyone.” She kept her arms around herself still.
“Does the water feel good?” He asked, cocking his head to one side and burying his hands her his pockets. She nodded silently and he stood for a moment, taking her in. Then he shrugged off his shirt and it floating to the ground gracefully, it was joins soon by his jeans. Her mouth fell open as he watched him undress and she felt something stir insider her that was unknown. She trembled, partly with fear of what came next and partly down to the feeling she couldn’t place. He turned away from her, thankfully leaving his boxer shorts on. He walked into the water, feeling the coolness reach his calves, then past his thighs. He gasped when it passed his hips and then crouched into the water to fully submerge his body.

He stayed underneath the water, feeling the swell of his breath fight the pressure of the freezing water pushing it out. When he emerged, he pushed his hair back so he could see without the interruption of it. The girl was pretty, breaking into womanhood. Her breasts had been soft and puffy underneath a simple dress, giving no hint as to her background. Her hair was wet but braided to fall over one shoulder and her face was bright and clear, obviously untouched by any trauma or problems. Her blue eyes were light with the innocence of childhood but had the curiosity of a woman. As he watched her, she turned towards him, her full lips pulling tight.
“Who are you?” She asked him in a demanding voice.
“Tobias.” He paused, watching her watching him. “And who are you?” He mimicked her tone.
“I’m Chloe.” He almost laughed at her average name, she was so beyond average and they had only just met.
“How do you do.”
“How do you do.” They smiled at each other.

A Post Exam Update

Well, currently I am all free and lovely but previously I was not. Exams make me mean, cold, harsh and incredibly boring. I do apologise if I have bored anyone *Glare at Stagbitch*. Back to normal posts.

Friends
Well the majority of my friends are fine and I think it's going to get more stable from the shaky position it's been during exams. However I have recently lost one friend, he's not dead, just a dick. Marshal was just totally cutting and harsh for no apparant reason and he makes no effort with me. I have no duty to him to be his friend or put up with his shit, so fuck it. He's out of the picture in my mind.Two of my girlies have new male interests, one of them being rather aged compared. I'm really happy for them. Their secret smiles make me all fuzzy inside.

Family
My mum recently gave permission for me to sleep over at Him's house which is amazing of her as she's usually quite controlling. I think she's really proud of me for getting through these exams without another break down. Last exam season me and her argued pretty badly and I like screamed and shouted, it was not pretty. Sisters awesome, if a little annoying. N is nice recently. I feel suspicious of him though. There was a huge scandal a while ago where my sis had some suspicions about his fidelity. I check his history now and keep watch, just to keep mumsie safe. He's alright most of the time, when he's not whining. Dad's awesome and C is also coolies, seeing them this weekend.
N's daughter is pregnant with her second child. My aunty recently got engaged. Sitatution with crazy Cousin is no better, her sister is doing well and wants to go into Criminal science.

Bus
This has been a big thing recently, so I want to moan. Frodo has moved downstairs bringing the second Bummer Twin with him. Urgh, as if one wasn't bad enough. The Handsome One seems to be a little reserved, but has come to accept his position as rejected in favour of Headphone Mans coolness. Owl Boy...my darling. He's growing up and it unnerves me, I don't know whether to treat him like a kid or like someone my age. I might try the latter tommorow.

School
Psychology - Went okay. Almost well.
Biology - Felt I did crap.
English - Felt I did crap.
Philosophy  - Felt I was a crap.

Love
As mentioned earlier, the Mutti has allowed me to sleep over Him's so I'm super psyched about that happening someday. I want to fall asleep knowing he's a moment away from me, sleeping in his arms has been so safe before. He even shhs me when I twitch like a freak. I feel totally wrapped up in cotton wool type love and it doesn't bother me I'm not super in control, being taken care of has been a welcome break especially in the exam season. I just wish I could hold him and kiss him all the time. Oh I'm close to crying now, MOVE ON.

Mind - Stressed
Body - Tired and flabby, will feel strong and toned when I get the energy soon.
Soul - At peace, was all worked up in a flapper but is on a come down off a high.

Hobbies
I want to write, I've been pouring out endless creativity recently and I just want to bottle it and share it around. Especially in the romance tragedy area. I feel another Lovers Grave coming along....Yay or Nay?

Ten Minutes as Me

She ran, her feet hitting the pavement with a rhythmic smack that satisfied her yearn for movement. Her muscles felt like a plant starved of water, finally feeling the first droplets of rain. She ran without grace, in a primal way. Her run was hectic and rushed, not that of the joggers at the side of the road. She seemed to mimic more a person in trouble, running from danger or punishment.
Her fear that she ran from was distant, it was the fear of failure. By running she felt that instant gratification, no chance of getting it wrong, just one foot, next foot, left right. Past her she saw the monotonous landscape of identical houses. With each one she could track her pace, counting how many houses till the turning or how many she passed with 50 footsteps. Unfortunately, it wasn’t running without purpose. Her mother had asked her to go and buy eggs for Yorkshire puddings, and since the girl herself did like to eat eggs with breakfast, she decided to oblige.
With the shop in the distance her pace slowed to a swagger. Feeling it silly to walk into a shop huffing and puffing she dawdled along, catching the breath that had escaped her. Success flooded through her, even at the small achievement of being able to run to the local store; nothing was too small to be proud of. Inside the store was blaring with the shouting colours of packaging, each one boasting to be ‘Best in the market’ or ‘Even tastier!’. She scoffed and found the plainest carton of eggs, scooping it into one of her arms. She grabbed some chocolate off the best shelf in the shop, a bargaining chip thrown in to convince her to get eggs. She sighed and approached the till.
“How are you?” The brightly ginger woman said from behind the till, her voice distant and uninterested.
“Good” The girl replied. She was stuck for words after that, not knowing how to interact. The woman recited the price and she paid, silently pondering what she could say.
“Have a nice day” The woman said and the girl murmured “You too.” But it was too quiet and too late. She wandered back out in the street, disappointed she couldn’t run back home. The handful of change, eggs, chocolate and mobile was too much to try and keep track of when trying to run in her own way.
Sauntering back she took more time to look at things, namely people. Two boys on bikes passed her, both peering inquisitively at her. They were blatantly younger than her but she felt closer to them than the two teenagers in bright hoodies and dark hats across the road that probably were her age. She saw a woman moaning at her teenage daughter about presents and wondered if all teenagers looked so moody and then deliberately brightened her face. She watched her shadow for a moment, watching her hair writhe around her in the breeze. She liked her hair in this style, front sections tied at the back of her head but people called it ‘odd’ and ‘unusual’ so she tended to not do it.
Her house came up quicker than she expected. A car blared past with grime music playing loudly out the rolled down window. Home felt so good, although it never felt safe. She felt like often she couldn’t be herself in the presence of her mother; censoring her words, toning down her actions and tiptoeing around feelings. She quickly threw down the eggs and change, running upstairs to her personal haven. She stopped off on the way to place a chocolate bar on her sisters laptop, to surprise her for when she got home after her hard last day on her project. Smug at her thoughtfulness she returned to her cushy bedroom. Swathed with fur, fans and clutter – she loved it. Flopping on the bed she picked up her laptop and began typing, perhaps a little too hardly, as a creative idea zipped its way inside her head….

My Competition Entry

Cannot be bothered posting the first part of it, I didn't write it after all so it don't really matter. This is my bit. (Basically a girl called Lucille is in her cabin when the boat she's on in caught in a storm and a hole is created in the wall then this bit happens)


The ship rocked and rolled beneath her and she watched the view of the sea through the hole in the wall. The sky was grey above her, with huge clouds bucketing down rain that sprayed her. The sun was setting in the distance, setting the bottom of the clouds on fire. She gasped as the ship tilted further and further in the exact direction she wanted to avoid. She felt her steady seat on the floor begin to give way. Her sweet silky dress felt like a mistake as it gave her no grip. He fingers scrabbled at the floorboards, bloodying the tips as her nails broke against the rough wood. She screamed as she felt her toes hit the remaining wood underneath the hole. It buckled against her oncoming weight and she prayed one last time that it held.

Seconds that felt like hours passed, the wood was firm against her feet, the boat still tilted further. She felt a glimmer of hope; if she could push against the board she could reach the bed that was firmly attached to the wall and pull herself away from the danger zone of the weakened wall. Gradually she began to extend her arms in front of her, lying face down on the floor. Her fingers brushed the bedpost and she gritted her teeth. With one last push, she practically jumped off the wall.

Then it broke. She screamed as she felt herself hurtle backwards off the boat. Briefly she caught a glimpse of the boat, tilted on its side against a huge wave, the crew attached to the boat with thick ropes around their waists. Falling, she wondered what drowning felt like – but only briefly. The water slammed into her back, breaking her weak spine. She knew she should have felt pain but none came, only numbness. The water crept up behind her ears, flooding them and muffling the noise. Salt water reached her nose and mouth and she gasped at the burning cold that make her skin contract and hurt. At the shock her eyes shot open but then began to burn against the salt so she shut them quickly, the damage already done, grating pain made her want to rub her eyes but she found that the muscles in her arms wouldn’t obey her.

The breath that she was holding on to for her life escaped her lips, creating perfectly formed spheres that drifted away from her like a soul leaving a dying man. She took a tentative breath and began to choke on the salt water that flooded her lungs, causing her to inhale more of the cold hurt. The pain began to fade and her breaths faded into stillness, a complete ecstasy washing over her. Death crept upon her disguised deceptively as extreme happiness. It curled its long fingers around her heart, crushing the weak beats with a morbid chuckle.

“Another child.” Death said, chuckling to herself. She was pleased with her work; the storm she had conducted was truly a beauty to behold. The rumble of thunder over the clouds was her roar of laughter at taking a strong heart of a spoiled girl. She felt the squirming life between her fingers and placed it in the stream of souls that floated around the nowhere. Death herself took no form, just a power that could chill the hearts of her victims and paralyse those who took her fancy. She stretched herself and felt a wash of boredom. Her hunger for new additions to her prized collection of souls never ended and with a passion for drama she began to conduct another theatrical performance that ultimately lead to the most impressive of all endings: a meeting with Death.

My Day - Episode Twenty Eight

Sat down ready to tell you all about my wonderful day filled with gifts and love.
Then I realised I cannot be arsed.
Goodnight!

Songs of the moment

I wanna have your babies - Natasha Bedingfield

The Bad Touch - Bloodhound gang
 
Fireflies - Owl City

Break the Ice - Britney Spears

Therapy

Lots of people might admit that they would benefit from therapy.
WELL IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAY!

Cosmopolitain July Issue now says that the best way to keep your emotions, goals and life under control is... to keep a diary! Even if it's just for bitching or private celebrations of your awesome grades you can't boast about publicly. A diary is the best friend and the best listener. You can read back your depressed entries and realise what went wrong and how to deal with it next time, you can write notes to your future self when you're happy to remind you that you are awesome! I love it. I can write secrets and then censor them with extra paper labelled "Super private!" so I feel even more mischievious. You can keep a secret and tell it at the same time. You can make lists about good and bad things about things and make decisions wisely. You can doodle and then interpret them later. You can note an amazing song that made you feel good so when you read it back you can listen again and re-feel every precious emotion of that time!!

Okay, so it might not be for everyone. But I love my diary and it's been the best commitment of my life. Now you will excuse me, I have a pen to find...

Revelations

Okay, I will admit I was not totally honest with you over the past few days. I wasn't lying, I just didn't tell y'all what's been going on. XD

Well, recently I've filled my hours with revision, sitting in the sun, eating oreogasms and wondering about life. And I have come to one solid conclusion. I really like my life just how it is. I don't want a new partner, I don't want a new school, I wouldn't accept different friends and I love my family just as the nutjobs they are.

OH MY GOD
THERE ARE HANDS GRABBING ON TO THE FENCE AND CHILDREN LOOKING OVER. IT'S THE MEXICAN CHILD.
And he has back up. O.O
"I am trying to be philosophical here!!"
"AIII AIIIIIII"

Back to reality. I've been feeling stuck in reverie, self reflecting and pits of swirling self-analysis and it's really bugging me. I feel like a horrible person when I say things but can't stop them coming out, I'm slacking on revision though I want amazing grades. Urgh. I'm happy with everything in life except BUG ON MY ARM...except me. :(
Cheer me up buttercup?