Big updateoo!

I admit, I have neglected my blog. But I’ve got my reasons!
A lot of the stuff that’s been happening in my life recently has been pretty upsetting and really not my stuff to tell. I’ve been on edge, waiting for lots of bad news and then getting it has been so much worse than I imagined. I’ve been struggling.

But I’m back and feeling a heck of a lot better. I’ve even painted my nails, that’s the extent of the recovery! I took some time yesterday to myself to get an early night and relax – doing things like taking a long shower and writing in my diary to chill out.

Some of the happy news recently is that my and both of the step-parents are getting along. N is being more and more friendly, even if his version of friendly is play fighting that almost breaks my hand. C has been really upset recently because Sheba, her dog, passed away. But, she’s got a new puppy called Ziva to take her mind off it and we are bonding over the pup so that’s nice.

Also, I have never been happier with Him. Every day I feel like we could really last longer. I’ve been through a phase of disbelief recently, wondering why in the heck he likes me and how is it possible he thinks I’m perfect. I won’t ever figure that out because it’s just too unbelievable.

I feel kind of shaky about myself recently. People keep saying fleeting comments or doing really subtle things that annoy me or make me think I’m not a good person. It’s things like when people do things similar to me, instead of being like “Oh hey, they’re just trying to keep up with stuff I do” I’m thinking “Why are they trying to compete with me? Now I’m going to lose and they will be awesome, leaving me in the dust to choke.” Or they say stuff that they feel paranoid about or stuff they want to improve about themselves, and I think they are a better person than me so surely there must be so much stuff that people want to change about me. But anyways, I promised myself I would be happy so no dwelling on that.

Other than that, I've made some new friends I'm really close to now, two people in particular spring to mind. One even got so close I let them read the 'other blog' and around the other I feel like superwoman with all this knowledge and advice, I kind of like being admired and depended on, especially by someone who is so awesome and I geniuinely want to help in every way. Bless her. :)

Note: Since writing this in school with perfect nail polish, I have now scratched of 60% of it. Soooo satisfying, I swear it's the only reason I even put it on. :)