Post 199

I like that number. This is going to be a random blog, I can't be arsed with structure today, that's what my whole day lacked.

I've started talking to my diary more again, she's new. Red leather bound and called Cherie, I think she's a new favourite. Gives me wrist cramp to write it but it means I do small bursts throughout the day so I don't miss some of the thoughts that pop into my head. I have addressed many things today such as how revision seems futile in the face of exams, how much my friends mean to me, would I still choose Joe if we were on take me out, would he still choose me, what I'd want to happen if I was brain dead, why Alice in Wonderland is so awesome and soon I'm probably going to write about a few things I want to happen when I'm older.
Those are things like I want to own a chair that is specifically for reading and phone calls, a big comfy one or a Freud lounger or something, and I want a bookcase full of favourites to dip into like never ending chocolates. I'm torn over whether I want to own a cat or not, I don't know if the life I want is suited for pets.

What other things have crossed my mind today?... Hum. Oh another thing I want to own is a big wooden chest, perhaps with a combination lock on. I'm going to store all of my diaries in it like a treasure trove and hopefully stop myself reading back. Maybe one day they'll come in handy. Or at least they'll all be in one place so easy to save in a fire. I won't be having all my darlings burn to a crisp. Poor Sian, Valentine, Romeo, Book of nonsense one and two, Nikki, Mira, Beau, Belle, Cherie and all of the rest.

I've had a few quotes of the day today, ones I tend to fixate on because they come up that day. Todays are "you shape your life, no-one else" "It's never too late to be who you might have been" and "Nothing is achieved with tears". The last was said by the caterpillar in the newest Alice in Wonderland film, which I watched today as you might've guessed. In fact I'll type up that diary entry.
"I love Alice in Wonderland,It's amazing that this mad old story came from one man's mind. It's so clever with it's poetry, riddles and rhymes.The new movie captures all of the magic and madness but none of the cleverness. And it doesn't follow the story line. At least the first movie tries." So there you go, that's my opinions for you.

Bored now. Let's play a game! I'll slide a bookmark into my old diary, Nikki and promise to type up whatever I land on. Here goes! Actually, I've done that three times and each one was very private and had a secret thought in so I won't type them. So much for that. Oh well. It was fun for me :D.

Let's play a different game! I'll slide a bookmark into N.G's Pleasure and will type up that page so you have some lovely advice and whatnot to live by. :D Let's go!
"Passion craves quietness, security and calm - states hard to attain in romantic love. And sometimes, as the worm turns, hurting is a way of holding someone. Suicide can be a way of hurting. Why did Ian choose to stain his lover's future so much? Isn't true love a desire for the other person's happiness? Why did I want to do it? Among other things, to stamp my fiance's life forever with the memory what what he'd done to me. I thought, once, that there was something so passionate and brave about what Ian had done. Now I just wish he'd grown up and known other women - journeyed to a point where he could look back and laugh. I wonder, years later, if he could reflect on his actions and he'd think, 'Damn it, why did I do it? For her?'. I suspect he would. And that breaks my heart."
So there you go, don't commit suicide to stain someone elses life. It's a foolish decision. As Bertrand Russell said, love is wise and hatred is foolish. Actually that's no so fitting now I think about it.

Anyways, blog over. I'm satisfied that I have rambled enough.