But I'm slowly getting back to my blissful happiness.
Only stares worth a million curses to dread.
But I've got a lover worth a million wishes to keep.
Tuesday, 29 December 2009
Dear Blog,
I'm fresh out of optimism in word form.
But I'm slowly getting back to my blissful happiness.
Only stares worth a million curses to dread.
But I've got a lover worth a million wishes to keep.
But I'm slowly getting back to my blissful happiness.
Only stares worth a million curses to dread.
But I've got a lover worth a million wishes to keep.
Sunday, 27 December 2009
Scratches
Something is living in my wall.
I can hear scratches right in front of me when I sit at my desk, and all that is there is a wall.
It's the outside wall and I know there is a hole on the other side.
Is is a bird? Is it a bat?
I wish it wasn't there...
I can hear scratches right in front of me when I sit at my desk, and all that is there is a wall.
It's the outside wall and I know there is a hole on the other side.
Is is a bird? Is it a bat?
I wish it wasn't there...
Most Embarassing Moments
Some of my most embarassing moments include:
I challenge you, fellow blog writers, to come up with your own most embarassing moments list and be brave enough to blog it!
- In year 6 when my friend stood on a fancy dress skirt I was wearing whilst dancing. It came right off round my ankles, the whole year was in that room. Mortifying.
- When buying a pair of shoes the assistant said I could find those particular ones in the childrens section.
- When an ex boyfriend raided my bag on the bus and decided to grab my 'ladies toiletries' bag and show the whole bus the contents of it. I was dating him at the time. Nice.
- When that ex-boyfriend decided to list our intimate moments and secret weird habits I have on the bus to deliberately embaress me.
- When I fall over on the stairs, many a-times.
- I tried to lean my elbow to prop up my chin on my desk, missed and whacked my chin on the desk and had a massive purple bruise take over my chin for over a week.
I challenge you, fellow blog writers, to come up with your own most embarassing moments list and be brave enough to blog it!
Saturday, 26 December 2009
Coming Clean
I had a very big secret from my boyfriend that only my nearest and dearest knew about and it was tearing me apart. For almost three months I have been totally locked off from the world, throwing myself into my relationship to repent for something he didn't know.
It was a big, horrible, monstrous, I'm-going-to-ruin-your-life kind of mistake, the ones you wish you could turn back time to stop, I'd give a limb to go back. I asked him what he would do if I ever had done something like that. He said he's deleted all of my details and make me dissapear from his life.
It was a hollow threat to say the least. We are both hopelessly in love. One teary, very teary, phonecall made me come clean, wipe the slate totally spotless and we started again.
In love stronger than ever, at the weakest and more destroyed part of our relationship yet.
"Learn to appreciate failure - and respect it. Acknowledge the courage it's taken to get that far. Seeing other strive, fail and strive again spurs us all on. For we are witnessing the glorious, indomitable human spirit in action." - N.G
"Never forget the power in forgiveness. It can be incredibly releasing - it can flush you clean, uplift you, move you on." -N.G
It was a big, horrible, monstrous, I'm-going-to-ruin-your-life kind of mistake, the ones you wish you could turn back time to stop, I'd give a limb to go back. I asked him what he would do if I ever had done something like that. He said he's deleted all of my details and make me dissapear from his life.
It was a hollow threat to say the least. We are both hopelessly in love. One teary, very teary, phonecall made me come clean, wipe the slate totally spotless and we started again.
In love stronger than ever, at the weakest and more destroyed part of our relationship yet.
"Learn to appreciate failure - and respect it. Acknowledge the courage it's taken to get that far. Seeing other strive, fail and strive again spurs us all on. For we are witnessing the glorious, indomitable human spirit in action." - N.G
"Never forget the power in forgiveness. It can be incredibly releasing - it can flush you clean, uplift you, move you on." -N.G
Creep And Boxing Day
Creep is definately not creepy anymore. He still insists he likes me and will someday win me over although I remind him often that the chances of that happening are practically nonexsistent. He annoys me often by misinterpreting my actions, if I do anything nice to him or say anything vaguely complimentary he takes it as me harbouring a secret desire for him. The only secret desire I have is for a male model named David Oliver.... Oh David...
Anyways!
New years plans have gone a bit haywire since the boyf may be having a family New Years and some of the Krewe have backed out saying that they can't get out of their family New Years plans.
Damnit!
Friday, 25 December 2009
Merry Xmas
I say bonjour because I look so totally french today, beret and all.
Anyways, it's Xmas. I say Xmas because I'm not religious so it's not CHRISTmas to me. I am listening to my ye olde CDs through my slammin new beats system, a beast of a speaker hooked up to me new portable dvd player, banging dude.
WALK THIS WAY!
TALK THIS WAY!
Well I got alot of stuffs for Xmas, all of it I adore. This hat has barely left my head. Thankyou Boyf's parents and sis!
Most random present award goes to: MUM with the mini sewing machine! (Last year it was a full pink toolkit. Maddo)
Most useful present award goes to: DAD and maybe his girlf. For the book of how to do just about everything! I will never need to google a skill again. :D
Cutest present award goes to: MUMS BOYF for the heatable pink bunny whom I've called Flump. ^^
The 'Totally Me' present goes to: MUM again for the black and peacock feather fan. *Dribble*
The 'OMG' present goes to: SISTER for the four Twilight Saga notebooks.
And the rest I just adore so much!
It's been so relaxed this Xmas, we downsized on pressies so less money worries, dinner was more relaxed, mum was actually chilled out for once and it's just been super sweet! At midnight I got like 4 texts from people saying Merry Xmas and I was like "Awww GUYYYSS".
Where the hell am I going to put that mini sewing machine?...
I keep having pretty weird dreams where I deface Flame's property, leaving huge signs proclaiming what an ass he is and like spraypainting sheep to spell *DICK* and stuff. I'm so mad at him, and mad at myself 'cause part of me is the opposite of mad at him.
On the other hand, it sounds cheesy and horrible but I have to get it out of my system. I had the most amazing experience with the boyf. I just felt so close to him, emotionally and yes, spiritually. I feel like I've had an epiphany or an awakening. I miss him now and I only saw him like two days ago and he's texting me as I write. I feel like I've tore him open and it's up to me to mend him and sew him back up again.
I asked him what he saw when I looked in the mirror, what he thought of himself. He said he onl looked in the mirror to do his hair and doesn't look at himself if he can help it. He thinks he's horribly unnatractive and every compliment I give him he shrugs off with one for me.
Have I done this by messing around? I think I've broken a man...
:'(
Friday, 18 December 2009
Edit: THIS is the Best Video Ever
Oh my god, first time I saw this I was literally in tears with laughter!
My day - Epsiode Seven
Well actually I lied. It's more what I've been doing since my last post.
I'll go for the most recent.
TODAY!
It snowed! Which means that my whole day plan was ruined. I was meant to be going off to my dad's house today until Xmas but of course the weather is too bad for him to come so the plans have been called off! Ah well. My and my sis donned the ugly hats and played in the snow. Mum was a bah humbug when she got home and told us we should have done something more useful.
YESTERDAY
Was our last day at school. Swapped pressies with Wallflower and Darling One, the two lovelies. I got some gorgeous smellies off Wallflower, Vanilla which is the best smell ever. And I got bracelets and The Notebook to read off her too. Darling One got me the most beautiful little flip mirror in a cutesy little pouch and a moulin rouge poster (I love!).
They know me so well.
Note: I think there are birds living in my wall, I can hear tapping and shuffling as I write... Worrying!
THE DAY BEFORE YESTERDAY
We had a half day at school and I had two frees in the morning. We swapped presents around the Krewe. Me and Goldilocks got each other and she got my a lovely lovely lovely Hunks calender with sexy men. I'm in love with Mr Septembers bum. <3 She also got me some yummy vanilla candles (Spotting a trend now? XD) and some revels.
From the boyf I got two more books by N.G, Cleave and The Book of Rapture. I'm reading the Book of Rapture at the moment. I love the pace which N.G writes it. For a long time it's just feelings described really poetically and really philosophical writings and then suddenly WHAM something really dramatic happens and it just stops your heart. Love her!
So anyways, half day and we went round to P.Diddy's house and watched a heck of a lot of Big Bang Theory. It sort of ended up like a battle ground as we found guns which shot foam bullets and ended up waging a war against everyone you could shoot. We totally trashed the house and I feel really bad for not staying and helping cleaning up. (Sorry dude!)
EPICALLY DRAMATIC NEWS:
Whilst this massive war was going on, ex-crush who now is more disgusting-horny-fanboy AKA Creep decided to join me hiding underneath a large pillow. He nuzzled up against my cheek and went "This is nice" and started to reach for me. Obv, I was totally freaked so I said "Get off me" and bolted out from under the pillow. I avoided him for the rest of the night.
When I got home he texted me saying that he apologises for ruining my evening and I told him not to text me again. He did because obviously he is brain dead. Nevertheless, I didn't reply again and he got the message.
The next day I told the boyf whow as not best pleased and is now on the hunt for blood, although luckily he's too much of a nice guy to do anything more than glare and shoulder barge people.
Later on I was on msn at home and then Creep came online and apologised again but also said that he doesn't take it back because it does reflect his feelings.
He then went on to tell me that he has basically been in love with me since year 8 and has dealt with rejection so many times he's just not going to give up anymore.
So there, that's what I've been doing recently. And now I am freaked.
I'll go for the most recent.
TODAY!
It snowed! Which means that my whole day plan was ruined. I was meant to be going off to my dad's house today until Xmas but of course the weather is too bad for him to come so the plans have been called off! Ah well. My and my sis donned the ugly hats and played in the snow. Mum was a bah humbug when she got home and told us we should have done something more useful.
YESTERDAY
Was our last day at school. Swapped pressies with Wallflower and Darling One, the two lovelies. I got some gorgeous smellies off Wallflower, Vanilla which is the best smell ever. And I got bracelets and The Notebook to read off her too. Darling One got me the most beautiful little flip mirror in a cutesy little pouch and a moulin rouge poster (I love!).
They know me so well.
Note: I think there are birds living in my wall, I can hear tapping and shuffling as I write... Worrying!
THE DAY BEFORE YESTERDAY
We had a half day at school and I had two frees in the morning. We swapped presents around the Krewe. Me and Goldilocks got each other and she got my a lovely lovely lovely Hunks calender with sexy men. I'm in love with Mr Septembers bum. <3 She also got me some yummy vanilla candles (Spotting a trend now? XD) and some revels.
From the boyf I got two more books by N.G, Cleave and The Book of Rapture. I'm reading the Book of Rapture at the moment. I love the pace which N.G writes it. For a long time it's just feelings described really poetically and really philosophical writings and then suddenly WHAM something really dramatic happens and it just stops your heart. Love her!
So anyways, half day and we went round to P.Diddy's house and watched a heck of a lot of Big Bang Theory. It sort of ended up like a battle ground as we found guns which shot foam bullets and ended up waging a war against everyone you could shoot. We totally trashed the house and I feel really bad for not staying and helping cleaning up. (Sorry dude!)
EPICALLY DRAMATIC NEWS:
Whilst this massive war was going on, ex-crush who now is more disgusting-horny-fanboy AKA Creep decided to join me hiding underneath a large pillow. He nuzzled up against my cheek and went "This is nice" and started to reach for me. Obv, I was totally freaked so I said "Get off me" and bolted out from under the pillow. I avoided him for the rest of the night.
When I got home he texted me saying that he apologises for ruining my evening and I told him not to text me again. He did because obviously he is brain dead. Nevertheless, I didn't reply again and he got the message.
The next day I told the boyf whow as not best pleased and is now on the hunt for blood, although luckily he's too much of a nice guy to do anything more than glare and shoulder barge people.
Later on I was on msn at home and then Creep came online and apologised again but also said that he doesn't take it back because it does reflect his feelings.
He then went on to tell me that he has basically been in love with me since year 8 and has dealt with rejection so many times he's just not going to give up anymore.
So there, that's what I've been doing recently. And now I am freaked.
Saturday, 12 December 2009
My dirty little secret is....
I've fallen back in love with anime. Schock horror!
I won't say which one I'm watching but it's not one of the giants which has like 300 episodes, that would just really tire me, never being able to see the end.
So yeah, it's really cute. I'm at my boyfriends house. He's just got out the shower and smells absolutely scrumptious, I could just eat him up. ^^
I'm trying to watch it but it's wireless internet connection so it's pretty damn useless to be honest.
Apparently we are going out tonight with his aunty and uncle. Hopefully I can skank an invite. I got him the main bulk of his Xmas pressy today when I was out in the town with the Krewe. Helped P.H start getting pressies aswell. He's got absolutely no idea.
So anyways, today we met up to hang around town and ended up getting pizza and sitting about boyf's house just having a laugh and eating.
New member B.H had her first day out with the Krewe and she did look a little bit awkward to start off with but she commented that she thought out Krewe was lovely and that she enjoyed herself, so that made me feel nice.
In regards to other things. Crush is pretty much gone. Flame I now pretty much hate. Family is all good, christmas is shaping up well although I still have a few presents to get an literally only days to get them. I've even pretty much sorted out new year aswell.
I won't say which one I'm watching but it's not one of the giants which has like 300 episodes, that would just really tire me, never being able to see the end.
So yeah, it's really cute. I'm at my boyfriends house. He's just got out the shower and smells absolutely scrumptious, I could just eat him up. ^^
I'm trying to watch it but it's wireless internet connection so it's pretty damn useless to be honest.
Apparently we are going out tonight with his aunty and uncle. Hopefully I can skank an invite. I got him the main bulk of his Xmas pressy today when I was out in the town with the Krewe. Helped P.H start getting pressies aswell. He's got absolutely no idea.
So anyways, today we met up to hang around town and ended up getting pizza and sitting about boyf's house just having a laugh and eating.
New member B.H had her first day out with the Krewe and she did look a little bit awkward to start off with but she commented that she thought out Krewe was lovely and that she enjoyed herself, so that made me feel nice.
In regards to other things. Crush is pretty much gone. Flame I now pretty much hate. Family is all good, christmas is shaping up well although I still have a few presents to get an literally only days to get them. I've even pretty much sorted out new year aswell.
Thursday, 10 December 2009
I've been thinking...
I don't want to say it outright but alot of the people who know me should know this fact. I'm open minded, I appreciate alot of things and I'm totally not judgemental. Also I'm pretty up for anything.
So there! I sort of didn't say it but I feel better about myself!
So there! I sort of didn't say it but I feel better about myself!
Monday, 7 December 2009
Oh Buggar!
Buggar it all!
I have a really sore back, and really sore legs and I don't know why! It's really frustrating. I haven't done any strenuous excercise or been twirling around to an American Smooth. I think I've probably slept wierd, it's the worst feeling in the world.
I had the most amazing near fantasy. Basically I want to go to university in London, as does my Boyf and his uncle has a flat there. Two and two together and that would be my ideallistic future. Then BABIES!
Haha.. Not really, babies are far from my mind at the moment.
I'm feeling very good deed-ish, feeling awfully nice. Loving it.
I have a really sore back, and really sore legs and I don't know why! It's really frustrating. I haven't done any strenuous excercise or been twirling around to an American Smooth. I think I've probably slept wierd, it's the worst feeling in the world.
I had the most amazing near fantasy. Basically I want to go to university in London, as does my Boyf and his uncle has a flat there. Two and two together and that would be my ideallistic future. Then BABIES!
Haha.. Not really, babies are far from my mind at the moment.
I'm feeling very good deed-ish, feeling awfully nice. Loving it.
Sunday, 6 December 2009
Xmasness
Everyones getting to that time. The coca-cola advert is on, people are eating from advent calenders and I heard a christmas song on the radio.
Oh yes.
"Holidays are coming...."
Christmas for me has never been about the presents. As a kid mum said every year "You're not getting much." and then would shower us in gifts anyway. Nowadays I don't care if I only got one gift, as long as I liked it. Even if I didn't I'd probably find that fact hilarious and enjoy it just as much.
This year we really are not getting much. I'm sort of happy about that though. Then what I get is easier to tell people about and I can enjoy each gift instead of just rolling in useless crapo.
I already know alot of what I'm getting as I went shopping with Mama this weekend and I basically picked my own presents. I'm so excited about giving other people presents. I know two people in particular will LOVE their presents. And I made a few of the gifts by hand with a little know-how so I feel extra giving this year even though I'm saving money by downsizing.
As I'm friends with a lot of dudes, I feel they may let the season down. We did a not-so-secret santa in our group and I have a big worry that most will not even bother and will just not get each other anything.
Oh well, I've got my girlie A.G her presents and I think that she will probably (Hopefully) like them.
Had a massive headache all day. Not good. Still happy though, nothing to complain about in life.
Had a nice daydream about trashing Flame's property, you know, massive insulting posters. *Sigh*
Oh yes.
"Holidays are coming...."
Christmas for me has never been about the presents. As a kid mum said every year "You're not getting much." and then would shower us in gifts anyway. Nowadays I don't care if I only got one gift, as long as I liked it. Even if I didn't I'd probably find that fact hilarious and enjoy it just as much.
This year we really are not getting much. I'm sort of happy about that though. Then what I get is easier to tell people about and I can enjoy each gift instead of just rolling in useless crapo.
I already know alot of what I'm getting as I went shopping with Mama this weekend and I basically picked my own presents. I'm so excited about giving other people presents. I know two people in particular will LOVE their presents. And I made a few of the gifts by hand with a little know-how so I feel extra giving this year even though I'm saving money by downsizing.
As I'm friends with a lot of dudes, I feel they may let the season down. We did a not-so-secret santa in our group and I have a big worry that most will not even bother and will just not get each other anything.
Oh well, I've got my girlie A.G her presents and I think that she will probably (Hopefully) like them.
Had a massive headache all day. Not good. Still happy though, nothing to complain about in life.
Had a nice daydream about trashing Flame's property, you know, massive insulting posters. *Sigh*
Saturday, 5 December 2009
Unfaithful
I feel it in the air
As I'm doing my hair
Preparing for another date
A kiss upon my cheek
As he reluctantly
Asks if I'm gonna be out late
I say I won't be long
Just hanging with the girls
A lie I didn't have to tell
Because we both know
Where I'm about to go
And we know it very well
Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying
I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer
Our love, his trust
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head
Get it over with
As I'm doing my hair
Preparing for another date
A kiss upon my cheek
As he reluctantly
Asks if I'm gonna be out late
I say I won't be long
Just hanging with the girls
A lie I didn't have to tell
Because we both know
Where I'm about to go
And we know it very well
Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying
I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer
Our love, his trust
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head
Get it over with
Thursday, 3 December 2009
FRICKING HELL!
I finally got so frustrated with Flames antics I asked to talk to him online. He come on and seemed a little pissed at me to be honest.
When I asked him if he felt anything for me he said he didn't and in fact our previous relations had only reminded him how much he loves his girlfriend and would never want to do anything to hurt her or betray her.
So basically I was nothing, am nothing and will always be nothing to him.
What an ass! How dare he string me along and send out false messages to me! All this time I've been lusting after him and wondering 'what ifs' he's actually been on a completely different wavelength daydreaming about his beloved girlfriend.
Well to be honest I've been a bit of a dick. My boyf has apparently been reading this although it doesn't seem it, he doesn't ask about the content. I really love the boyf and he's an absolute doll. But I need drama in my life! Passion, love, anger, romance, frustration, a theme tune!
At least now I have closure.
When I asked him if he felt anything for me he said he didn't and in fact our previous relations had only reminded him how much he loves his girlfriend and would never want to do anything to hurt her or betray her.
So basically I was nothing, am nothing and will always be nothing to him.
What an ass! How dare he string me along and send out false messages to me! All this time I've been lusting after him and wondering 'what ifs' he's actually been on a completely different wavelength daydreaming about his beloved girlfriend.
Well to be honest I've been a bit of a dick. My boyf has apparently been reading this although it doesn't seem it, he doesn't ask about the content. I really love the boyf and he's an absolute doll. But I need drama in my life! Passion, love, anger, romance, frustration, a theme tune!
At least now I have closure.
Wednesday, 2 December 2009
Re: Books
I myself am an avid reader and always have been. When I was a kid I loved reading about monty the dog who wore glasses, (Met the author, got it signed!), and then I moved on to Harry Potter and then Series of Unfortunate Events, Roman Mysteries, Inkheart and of course most of Jaqueline Wilson's work.
Now, being a little older my tastes have changed and these are a few of my favourite books and authors.
Torey Hayden/ Jodi Picoult
Both of these authors write similarly and My Sister's Keeper is really similar to most of Torey Hayden's books. She writes about childen with issues, sometimes psychological. There are some real cute stories of kids who change completely from being locked in silence to opening up and experiencing the world. Tug on your heart strings kind of stuff.
The Thorn Birds
This book is beauty itself. The story starts when Meggie, living in the rolling hills of Ireland is three years old. With many brothers and a rather emotionless mother, her live is pretty average. However her rich aunt living in Australia gets lonely and invites her and the family to come and live on a massive peice of land called Drogheda. On arrival, the aunt's good friend, Ralph de Bricassart greets them. The book is over Meggies whole life and part of her childrens. Growing up you see her changing through many points of view. Her own, her fathers, the priests. It's written from different points of view. Pure gorgeousness. Such a classic.
Mandasue Heller
OH MY GOD I love this woman. She writes great thrillers that you won't catch on to until that last page where you go OH MY GOD! And sometimes you have to read them twice to really understand all those little hints. My mum says she can figure them out but I can't and I love them. I've read, the club, forget me not, tainted lives (Best) and the front. Awesome.
The Wish House
This book is actually a little young for me and a bit too short for my liking. It was another one you can totally see the subtle changes throughout the book. It's about Richard who has a very boring life but an avid imagination. He goes on holiday caravaning and there is a nice forest and one house which seems to whisper "wish" in the wind. He finds out a family have moved there and becomes very involved in their lives and see what's behind their exotic exterior is alot darker than first thought. Also it's a cute love story.
Can't be bothered thinking about other books, but those are really really really good. Read em!
Now, being a little older my tastes have changed and these are a few of my favourite books and authors.
Torey Hayden/ Jodi Picoult
Both of these authors write similarly and My Sister's Keeper is really similar to most of Torey Hayden's books. She writes about childen with issues, sometimes psychological. There are some real cute stories of kids who change completely from being locked in silence to opening up and experiencing the world. Tug on your heart strings kind of stuff.
The Thorn Birds
This book is beauty itself. The story starts when Meggie, living in the rolling hills of Ireland is three years old. With many brothers and a rather emotionless mother, her live is pretty average. However her rich aunt living in Australia gets lonely and invites her and the family to come and live on a massive peice of land called Drogheda. On arrival, the aunt's good friend, Ralph de Bricassart greets them. The book is over Meggies whole life and part of her childrens. Growing up you see her changing through many points of view. Her own, her fathers, the priests. It's written from different points of view. Pure gorgeousness. Such a classic.
Mandasue Heller
OH MY GOD I love this woman. She writes great thrillers that you won't catch on to until that last page where you go OH MY GOD! And sometimes you have to read them twice to really understand all those little hints. My mum says she can figure them out but I can't and I love them. I've read, the club, forget me not, tainted lives (Best) and the front. Awesome.
The Wish House
This book is actually a little young for me and a bit too short for my liking. It was another one you can totally see the subtle changes throughout the book. It's about Richard who has a very boring life but an avid imagination. He goes on holiday caravaning and there is a nice forest and one house which seems to whisper "wish" in the wind. He finds out a family have moved there and becomes very involved in their lives and see what's behind their exotic exterior is alot darker than first thought. Also it's a cute love story.
Can't be bothered thinking about other books, but those are really really really good. Read em!
Tuesday, 1 December 2009
Knowing Yourself
Everyone makes a huge deal about 'finding yourself' and I think that's a little inaccurate. Everyone is in touch with themselves, you are yourself after all however I think you need a bit more interaction with your mind and soul that the everyday life.
And so, I was inspired by another blogger who seems a bit lost to write about ways I bring about peace with myself and general happiness and wellbeing. These tips are literally just tips and might seem crazy or just not work but bare with me.
1. Focus on a small and fiddly task.
This can be something like a jigsaw or fixing that necklace that snapped all those days ago. Sewing or something may be more suited to you. Usually something productive is better as you get that sense of achievement at the end. Personally, I paint my nails. French manicures are so fiddly they allow my brain to block all those looming problems that seem to swamp you and pull your mind together to focus on something you WANT to do.
2. Lie down.
Not on a bed. Bed's are for sleeping and you'll only get that sense of frustration that comes with trying to fall asleep when you aren't sleepy or not being allowed to fall asleep. Lie on the floor and just relax. Flop down, no need to be neat with how you lie. Lieing down uses no muscles so only your brain has to be active. This will take away all distractions and let you focus on those niggling problems and give you some time to try and think of solutions.
3. Light a candle.
Fire is incredibly calming for me. I've had some bad experience to do with burning and self-harming and fire has always been a mystery to me. Looks almost fluid, beautiful. Scented candles also make your room smell nice and can have a real 'sigh' effect on you. Where you just breathe in and sigh, that's a good effect.
4. List things.
To-do lists are a little bit doom and gloom, especially if you have to turn the page or go into double numbers. Try writing different things like what you have done or things you would like to encorporate into your days to help with wellbeing. My newest one is situps every night and writing in my diary before falling asleep. And if you are feeling brave write down things you have to do, but also when you are going to do them, setting achievable goals and prioritising life.
5. Listen to some new music.
When I say listen to music I mean JUST listen. Don't sing along, no msning or facebooking while listening. Combined with lieing on the floor this can be so reviving. Especially if you find a song which had a really nice build up to energy. Personally Nerina Pallot (Yes she is on spotify) has transformed my depressed moments. Sophia a fire, I'm burning I'm burning...Lalala...<3
6. Preen.
Personal grooming can sometimes be pushed to the back of your mind when the world takes over. Take care of yourself and it will go further than the flesh. My room is a haven for moisturisers, face masks, hair masks, tweezers, eyelash curlers, foot scrubs and all sorts! A this isn't just for girls. Guys, a good long shower with a good lynx shower gel and a careful shave should make yourself feel better I'm sure. :)
7. Cut yourself off from the world.
In serious cases where I feel like I've completely lost where I'm going I will have one day where I don't feel attached to anything. People pass me by and I'm in my head, playing music to myself and doing very little with the day. Don't watch tv, especially the news, don't listen to the radio. Only listen to music you know won't remind you of things. Read a book, they are great for loosing yourself. Dim the lighting and take heed of all the things above.
8. Take Vitamins.
This seems like a really useless thing to say. Vitamins may not bring about a noticeable change in your mood but that subtle way that you know you are bettering yourself will make you feel more healthy and vibrant. It's basically a placebo effect but there is no need to dismiss it because of that.
So there, my little ways to get back in touch with the inner you. I read in a magazine once that playing with your toes makes you feel good, but frankly I'll just take their word for that.
Ciao.
And so, I was inspired by another blogger who seems a bit lost to write about ways I bring about peace with myself and general happiness and wellbeing. These tips are literally just tips and might seem crazy or just not work but bare with me.
1. Focus on a small and fiddly task.
This can be something like a jigsaw or fixing that necklace that snapped all those days ago. Sewing or something may be more suited to you. Usually something productive is better as you get that sense of achievement at the end. Personally, I paint my nails. French manicures are so fiddly they allow my brain to block all those looming problems that seem to swamp you and pull your mind together to focus on something you WANT to do.
2. Lie down.
Not on a bed. Bed's are for sleeping and you'll only get that sense of frustration that comes with trying to fall asleep when you aren't sleepy or not being allowed to fall asleep. Lie on the floor and just relax. Flop down, no need to be neat with how you lie. Lieing down uses no muscles so only your brain has to be active. This will take away all distractions and let you focus on those niggling problems and give you some time to try and think of solutions.
3. Light a candle.
Fire is incredibly calming for me. I've had some bad experience to do with burning and self-harming and fire has always been a mystery to me. Looks almost fluid, beautiful. Scented candles also make your room smell nice and can have a real 'sigh' effect on you. Where you just breathe in and sigh, that's a good effect.
4. List things.
To-do lists are a little bit doom and gloom, especially if you have to turn the page or go into double numbers. Try writing different things like what you have done or things you would like to encorporate into your days to help with wellbeing. My newest one is situps every night and writing in my diary before falling asleep. And if you are feeling brave write down things you have to do, but also when you are going to do them, setting achievable goals and prioritising life.
5. Listen to some new music.
When I say listen to music I mean JUST listen. Don't sing along, no msning or facebooking while listening. Combined with lieing on the floor this can be so reviving. Especially if you find a song which had a really nice build up to energy. Personally Nerina Pallot (Yes she is on spotify) has transformed my depressed moments. Sophia a fire, I'm burning I'm burning...Lalala...<3
6. Preen.
Personal grooming can sometimes be pushed to the back of your mind when the world takes over. Take care of yourself and it will go further than the flesh. My room is a haven for moisturisers, face masks, hair masks, tweezers, eyelash curlers, foot scrubs and all sorts! A this isn't just for girls. Guys, a good long shower with a good lynx shower gel and a careful shave should make yourself feel better I'm sure. :)
7. Cut yourself off from the world.
In serious cases where I feel like I've completely lost where I'm going I will have one day where I don't feel attached to anything. People pass me by and I'm in my head, playing music to myself and doing very little with the day. Don't watch tv, especially the news, don't listen to the radio. Only listen to music you know won't remind you of things. Read a book, they are great for loosing yourself. Dim the lighting and take heed of all the things above.
8. Take Vitamins.
This seems like a really useless thing to say. Vitamins may not bring about a noticeable change in your mood but that subtle way that you know you are bettering yourself will make you feel more healthy and vibrant. It's basically a placebo effect but there is no need to dismiss it because of that.
So there, my little ways to get back in touch with the inner you. I read in a magazine once that playing with your toes makes you feel good, but frankly I'll just take their word for that.
Ciao.
Monday, 30 November 2009
My Day - Episode Six
It was fine.
Too much work as always, trudging through regretfully.
Almost cried on the bus for undisclosed reasons.
xx Forever Belle
Too much work as always, trudging through regretfully.
Almost cried on the bus for undisclosed reasons.
xx Forever Belle
Sunday, 29 November 2009
Hello?
First of all. Who is actually reading these? Much appreciated if you could comment so I can actually get a look see on who I'm talking to.
Continuing on with more pressing matters, my weekend. Awesome! Basically I thought I would be staying at my mums this weekend and hugging my computer as it's finally back to life. No idea how much I missed it, BUT I SURVIVED! Ha. So I thought I'd be here, tapping away, maybe go to this gorgeous shop Desigual which is like a semi-designer shop with loads of pathwork, crazy colours and prints.
Buutt. Ended up I went to me dad's for the weekend. Got some chinese noodles for dinner/breakfast. Yummers. Then popped over to the boyf's where we played Halo: ODST. For a girl who doesn't actually own an Xbox360 I think I played pretty well, kept up almost on par with the boyf. Not with P.D (P.Diddy, Ha!) as he is mega.
Then we watched Pulp Fiction, good movie, didn't live up to the hype to be honest. And we had an Austin Powersathon where we watched all three movies over the course of the night and morning. Stayed in bed snuggling and being warm until about one in the afternoon.
I played with Hama beads, for those of you who don't know it's like little beads you make patterns out of on a spikey board and iron and they melt and stick together. Never got to play with them as a kid and so happy I finally got a go. I made a cute love heart and mine and boy's names. Yes, I'm sappy and sad.
Had to walk back to my dads in the pouring rain with my overnight bag and stuff I bought from primark and towing my bike. Boyf tried to shelter me with an umbrella but my right arm was totally out and I was soaked to the skin. Not. Happy.
Then came back to mums and me and Sissy have ordered a nice Dominoes pizza with cheesy garlic bread, chicken strippers and cookies. Oh yes. Now I am happy.
Continuing on with more pressing matters, my weekend. Awesome! Basically I thought I would be staying at my mums this weekend and hugging my computer as it's finally back to life. No idea how much I missed it, BUT I SURVIVED! Ha. So I thought I'd be here, tapping away, maybe go to this gorgeous shop Desigual which is like a semi-designer shop with loads of pathwork, crazy colours and prints.
Buutt. Ended up I went to me dad's for the weekend. Got some chinese noodles for dinner/breakfast. Yummers. Then popped over to the boyf's where we played Halo: ODST. For a girl who doesn't actually own an Xbox360 I think I played pretty well, kept up almost on par with the boyf. Not with P.D (P.Diddy, Ha!) as he is mega.
Then we watched Pulp Fiction, good movie, didn't live up to the hype to be honest. And we had an Austin Powersathon where we watched all three movies over the course of the night and morning. Stayed in bed snuggling and being warm until about one in the afternoon.
I played with Hama beads, for those of you who don't know it's like little beads you make patterns out of on a spikey board and iron and they melt and stick together. Never got to play with them as a kid and so happy I finally got a go. I made a cute love heart and mine and boy's names. Yes, I'm sappy and sad.
Had to walk back to my dads in the pouring rain with my overnight bag and stuff I bought from primark and towing my bike. Boyf tried to shelter me with an umbrella but my right arm was totally out and I was soaked to the skin. Not. Happy.
Then came back to mums and me and Sissy have ordered a nice Dominoes pizza with cheesy garlic bread, chicken strippers and cookies. Oh yes. Now I am happy.
Thursday, 26 November 2009
My Day - Episode Five
Today was a lovely day!
Woke up, had a reasonable normal breakfast - eggy bread. Listened to the whole new Mika album on my journey to school, that's how long it is! Then had a general excited feeling for the whole day, despite the fact I thought it was Wednesday when it was actually Thursday, much confusion. Good debates on topics such as Euthanasia, Organ Transplants and Abortion in my structured study. Fun Bio lesson. Nice.
Boyf makes me happy recently, apart from the slap incident, he's been perfect. Looking so kissable and loads of people compliment me and tell me how lucky I am to have him. I feel lucky and happy happy happy people.
For all you people still pondering my previous crush, stop! It's a blog which is supposedly meant to keep everyone anonymous..ish. Nosy buggars! Update on him. He's talking to me again and still referring to me as "apple of my desire". I think he's moved on, apparently he's been trying to wiggle his way into some other girls pants. Thank fuck. Mind your language. Sorry.
Anyways, Flame as I have started to refer to him, has again been confusing. I got another wink the other day, ignored today and for two days on the trot we had a reasonably conversation. Ridiculous. He seems to be alot better with his girlfriend, problems sort themselves out to make way for the next in their world.
My actual liking for him is starting to wane again. Oh! I was wearing a low cut top the other day and when he noticed I got a shocked gasp and stare, mostly in a jokey way. Then he tried to cover me up which to me was funny. I like the attention but really I just felt a bit crushed. He doesn't want to look at me like I'm attractive so I'm giving up again. Pointless to even like him, never mind pining after what I can't have. Besides, I'd only get him and finally go "Don't want it anymore." Knowing me.
Enough flame talk.
I got a D in my Psychology test today. Gutted. I'm meant to getting an A overall so that is just a little too far off for comfort really. Oh well I suppose, I'll just make sure I do a bit better in the next one.
My sis bought my a new diary for my birthday and I am soo looking forward to switching. Currently I'm on Lily, the one after Belle. I think I may call the next one Beau. It's cute to say 'cause it sounds like Bo and it still means beautiful! ((Actually it means like handsome, admirer or sweetheart;) )) Which is how life should feel really.
Anyways, I'm rambling. And welcome to the boyf who is a follower of the Belle Blog now. I'll still continue to bitch about him though, don't worry folks. :)
Woke up, had a reasonable normal breakfast - eggy bread. Listened to the whole new Mika album on my journey to school, that's how long it is! Then had a general excited feeling for the whole day, despite the fact I thought it was Wednesday when it was actually Thursday, much confusion. Good debates on topics such as Euthanasia, Organ Transplants and Abortion in my structured study. Fun Bio lesson. Nice.
Boyf makes me happy recently, apart from the slap incident, he's been perfect. Looking so kissable and loads of people compliment me and tell me how lucky I am to have him. I feel lucky and happy happy happy people.
For all you people still pondering my previous crush, stop! It's a blog which is supposedly meant to keep everyone anonymous..ish. Nosy buggars! Update on him. He's talking to me again and still referring to me as "apple of my desire". I think he's moved on, apparently he's been trying to wiggle his way into some other girls pants. Thank fuck. Mind your language. Sorry.
Anyways, Flame as I have started to refer to him, has again been confusing. I got another wink the other day, ignored today and for two days on the trot we had a reasonably conversation. Ridiculous. He seems to be alot better with his girlfriend, problems sort themselves out to make way for the next in their world.
My actual liking for him is starting to wane again. Oh! I was wearing a low cut top the other day and when he noticed I got a shocked gasp and stare, mostly in a jokey way. Then he tried to cover me up which to me was funny. I like the attention but really I just felt a bit crushed. He doesn't want to look at me like I'm attractive so I'm giving up again. Pointless to even like him, never mind pining after what I can't have. Besides, I'd only get him and finally go "Don't want it anymore." Knowing me.
Enough flame talk.
I got a D in my Psychology test today. Gutted. I'm meant to getting an A overall so that is just a little too far off for comfort really. Oh well I suppose, I'll just make sure I do a bit better in the next one.
My sis bought my a new diary for my birthday and I am soo looking forward to switching. Currently I'm on Lily, the one after Belle. I think I may call the next one Beau. It's cute to say 'cause it sounds like Bo and it still means beautiful! ((Actually it means like handsome, admirer or sweetheart;) )) Which is how life should feel really.
Anyways, I'm rambling. And welcome to the boyf who is a follower of the Belle Blog now. I'll still continue to bitch about him though, don't worry folks. :)
Wednesday, 25 November 2009
Tuesday, 24 November 2009
My Day - Episode Four
Well today was mainly uneventful. Woke up, had some lovely cheesey pasta for breakfast, yes breakfast.
In my free my boyfriend searched for a picture of a girl in a bikini and then sat there nodding in approval. He got a swift slap for that and then when he cornered me later to try and find out what was wrong, obviously he was too dim to have twigged, I kneed him (very gently) in the balls. Deserved I have to say. You don't pin a girl to the wall to find out what you did wrong, that just screams "kick me."
At lunch I felt bad cause I sat on a table with two friends with all of my crew, took up the whole table and B.S came over red-faced and embaressed and was like "You didn't save me a seat!" and then stormed off, threw her lunch in the bin and didn't eat. Now I felt bad but the two who were meant to save her a seat said "She's only trying to make us feel bad. I don't get a moment alone now, she's constantly there or texting me like 'can I sit with you?'. She has other friends but she relies on me totally which is unfair. I don't feel bad. I've done nothing wrong." To be honest I think she is right.
I spoke to my flame today. He looked totally hot yesterday, rain swept and in sporty clothes, muscles galore. Today he just looked totally out of it, him and his girlfriend are having problems and he really just doesn't need it on top of his work load. Poor thang.
I also went swimming today, wore my trampiest clothes ever which was hilarious. Had a nice laugh with H.P who I went with. We basically do a couple of lengths and then go and get crisps. We suck, but hey.
While we were waiting for the bus we were at the stop talking when the bus totally drove past us! He didn't even stop so I ran to the junction and like mouthed at the guy "What the fuck?!?" and he just drove off. I had to wait another twenty minutes in the dark, cold, rainy, miserable night on my own. Not happy.
Finally got home, had a long hot shower and now I'm off to do my hair for tommorow and chill out.
Computer still isn't working, internets still down. We are going to call someone in to fix it. Until then, I'll sneak moments on my mum's and sister's computers.
Love Belle.
In my free my boyfriend searched for a picture of a girl in a bikini and then sat there nodding in approval. He got a swift slap for that and then when he cornered me later to try and find out what was wrong, obviously he was too dim to have twigged, I kneed him (very gently) in the balls. Deserved I have to say. You don't pin a girl to the wall to find out what you did wrong, that just screams "kick me."
At lunch I felt bad cause I sat on a table with two friends with all of my crew, took up the whole table and B.S came over red-faced and embaressed and was like "You didn't save me a seat!" and then stormed off, threw her lunch in the bin and didn't eat. Now I felt bad but the two who were meant to save her a seat said "She's only trying to make us feel bad. I don't get a moment alone now, she's constantly there or texting me like 'can I sit with you?'. She has other friends but she relies on me totally which is unfair. I don't feel bad. I've done nothing wrong." To be honest I think she is right.
I spoke to my flame today. He looked totally hot yesterday, rain swept and in sporty clothes, muscles galore. Today he just looked totally out of it, him and his girlfriend are having problems and he really just doesn't need it on top of his work load. Poor thang.
I also went swimming today, wore my trampiest clothes ever which was hilarious. Had a nice laugh with H.P who I went with. We basically do a couple of lengths and then go and get crisps. We suck, but hey.
While we were waiting for the bus we were at the stop talking when the bus totally drove past us! He didn't even stop so I ran to the junction and like mouthed at the guy "What the fuck?!?" and he just drove off. I had to wait another twenty minutes in the dark, cold, rainy, miserable night on my own. Not happy.
Finally got home, had a long hot shower and now I'm off to do my hair for tommorow and chill out.
Computer still isn't working, internets still down. We are going to call someone in to fix it. Until then, I'll sneak moments on my mum's and sister's computers.
Love Belle.
Monday, 23 November 2009
The damned computer
I am going to kill my computer, mums partner and the internet one of these days. It may be difficult to take a knife to the internets throat but I will do it. Trust me.
Basically trying to revive my internet tonight and got mum's partner to help as we managed to fix it last time it went skitz like this. He started pressing buttons here there and everywhere, not only did he almost stumble across some rather indecent pictures, but he also broke the computer totally. On starting up it came up with a message saying that a file was cirrupt so it couldn't start up. So I've just had to do another system recovery and have now lost ALL of my photos, word documents and everything. I don't have a scrap left.
Ironically one of the only things that survived were the indecent pictures.
Now I'm using my sisters computer and my mum is completely mad at me because we're gonna have to call out 'the guy'to fix it which will cost around forty quid. To say the least, my night is not going well.
Basically trying to revive my internet tonight and got mum's partner to help as we managed to fix it last time it went skitz like this. He started pressing buttons here there and everywhere, not only did he almost stumble across some rather indecent pictures, but he also broke the computer totally. On starting up it came up with a message saying that a file was cirrupt so it couldn't start up. So I've just had to do another system recovery and have now lost ALL of my photos, word documents and everything. I don't have a scrap left.
Ironically one of the only things that survived were the indecent pictures.
Now I'm using my sisters computer and my mum is completely mad at me because we're gonna have to call out 'the guy'to fix it which will cost around forty quid. To say the least, my night is not going well.
Frustration
OH MY GOD I JUST WROTE OUT A MASSIVE POST AND THEN PRESSED A BUTTON AND IT DISSAPEARED!
Now I have to rewrite. It was already called Frustration before and now it's just gotten even worse.
My first frustration is my computer's internet being completely out. I have an adaptor, we have a router which works, we have the pass code and I.P address and yet, it still refuses to work. This was all because last week my computer clapped out on me and my Dad had to do a completely system restore. This got rid of all my programs and basically I had to start from scratch again.
Next frustration is my crush turned creepy. He threatened to turn up at my door on Sunday (He didn't thank god) and was texting me every couple of hours all week, despite me trying to fob him off. This was all because he cottoned on to my crush and wanted to take further action. Hear me now: NOOOOOOOOO.
Crushes are the look but don't touch, think but not act. You can't take a crush further, especially with the beloved boyf on the scene.
My old flame has been acting strange. One minute he will be smiling at me, then he will act like I don't exist, then he will wink at me, call me a bitch 'as a joke' and then get all defensive over me. Is it just me that doesn't understand this male behaviour? Someone enlighten me! So obviously this has all peaked my interest in him. *Sigh*
Anyways, gotta run, lesson ends soon. (Rebel)
Now I have to rewrite. It was already called Frustration before and now it's just gotten even worse.
My first frustration is my computer's internet being completely out. I have an adaptor, we have a router which works, we have the pass code and I.P address and yet, it still refuses to work. This was all because last week my computer clapped out on me and my Dad had to do a completely system restore. This got rid of all my programs and basically I had to start from scratch again.
Next frustration is my crush turned creepy. He threatened to turn up at my door on Sunday (He didn't thank god) and was texting me every couple of hours all week, despite me trying to fob him off. This was all because he cottoned on to my crush and wanted to take further action. Hear me now: NOOOOOOOOO.
Crushes are the look but don't touch, think but not act. You can't take a crush further, especially with the beloved boyf on the scene.
My old flame has been acting strange. One minute he will be smiling at me, then he will act like I don't exist, then he will wink at me, call me a bitch 'as a joke' and then get all defensive over me. Is it just me that doesn't understand this male behaviour? Someone enlighten me! So obviously this has all peaked my interest in him. *Sigh*
Anyways, gotta run, lesson ends soon. (Rebel)
Sunday, 22 November 2009
The past week
WELL!
Where do I begin? I last spoke to you on the fifteenth - mum's birthday. Came back from my dads, handing my computer Charlie over reluctantly. Then monday was boring... tuesday I was meant to go swimming with H.P but she cancelled again, family stuff. And then wednesday I watched true blood, I can't stop myself! It's so addictive, although that episode wasn't as exciting as others I have to say. Thursday was my birthday, and my boyfs b'day. I gave him a ukelele for his b'day, he wanted one and I'm an awesome person so there. I got a book called Pleasure : An Almanac For the Heart by Nikki Gemmel. She wrote a very frisky book called The Bride Stripped Bare that I basically fell in love with. Now that she's not anonymous, she's just awesome.... Anyways, pleasure is basically a guide to life, advice on all the parts of a womans life, completely uncensored. I'm in love.
Continuing, boyf also got me tickets to go see the new Twilight movie: New Moon. So much better than I thought it was going to be. Topless men galore. Embarassing moment: My phone has an alarm that goes off at ten O'clock to tell me to take my pill and it won't stop going off until you press a button to shut it up. You guesses it, even though my phone was off, it switched itself back on to play this screaming alarm in the middle of the movie. I was sooo embaressed, boyf had to help me out of my fluster. To make it worse, it was then on and my friend texted me!! The horror.
That was Friday night, and then I went home, got some well liked sleep. Woke up, had chinese noodles for breakfast - best meal ever. Then went over to boyf's house. We played on Fable, which I am addicted to. <3 Then he had a party thang round his house with peeps. There was around 9 people there, and our two beloved friends A.G and H.S finally made out after seven months of waiting. They both went home, separately before you guys start making up rumours. :o le gaspo. Anyways, they went home and seven people stayed. Out of those seven, FOUR threw up. The worst was flirty friend T.S who was sick all over the bedroom and our poor victim of a friend P.D. Poor guy.
To end it all we slept downstairs on the couch and left the sick people upstairs.
Still was an awesome night though.
My crush has now ended and an old flame has been fed, as it was never out, just put on low.
Where do I begin? I last spoke to you on the fifteenth - mum's birthday. Came back from my dads, handing my computer Charlie over reluctantly. Then monday was boring... tuesday I was meant to go swimming with H.P but she cancelled again, family stuff. And then wednesday I watched true blood, I can't stop myself! It's so addictive, although that episode wasn't as exciting as others I have to say. Thursday was my birthday, and my boyfs b'day. I gave him a ukelele for his b'day, he wanted one and I'm an awesome person so there. I got a book called Pleasure : An Almanac For the Heart by Nikki Gemmel. She wrote a very frisky book called The Bride Stripped Bare that I basically fell in love with. Now that she's not anonymous, she's just awesome.... Anyways, pleasure is basically a guide to life, advice on all the parts of a womans life, completely uncensored. I'm in love.
Continuing, boyf also got me tickets to go see the new Twilight movie: New Moon. So much better than I thought it was going to be. Topless men galore. Embarassing moment: My phone has an alarm that goes off at ten O'clock to tell me to take my pill and it won't stop going off until you press a button to shut it up. You guesses it, even though my phone was off, it switched itself back on to play this screaming alarm in the middle of the movie. I was sooo embaressed, boyf had to help me out of my fluster. To make it worse, it was then on and my friend texted me!! The horror.
That was Friday night, and then I went home, got some well liked sleep. Woke up, had chinese noodles for breakfast - best meal ever. Then went over to boyf's house. We played on Fable, which I am addicted to. <3 Then he had a party thang round his house with peeps. There was around 9 people there, and our two beloved friends A.G and H.S finally made out after seven months of waiting. They both went home, separately before you guys start making up rumours. :o le gaspo. Anyways, they went home and seven people stayed. Out of those seven, FOUR threw up. The worst was flirty friend T.S who was sick all over the bedroom and our poor victim of a friend P.D. Poor guy.
To end it all we slept downstairs on the couch and left the sick people upstairs.
Still was an awesome night though.
My crush has now ended and an old flame has been fed, as it was never out, just put on low.
Sunday, 15 November 2009
Much newses
New News number one!
My mum's birthday is today! Woo! Happy birthday momma! <3
New News number two!
I went out TWICE to parties this weekend. On friday there was a gig at Saint Brendans (Some dingy pub in Corby) which turned out to be crap and since I wasn't drinking, there was no point in me being there so I came home. And I felt guilty for being out so soon after the news about boyf's gran.
Oh and the other party was last night, Saturday. People ran out of drink but me not having any had a good time anyways, just hanging with people. Had a nice dance with the host. Bwahaha
New News number three!
It's my birthday and boyf's on thursday coming up! Yes, same day. "It's destinyyyyy" XD
New News number four! (Almost wrote three, that's how much I suck at maths)
Twilight- New Moon comes out Friday! I'm going to the evening showing and will probably report back once my computer gets back from the Daddy Doctors. Which brings me on to...
New News number five!
My computer has gone completely kaput. I'm writing from my computer at dad's as my usual, Charlie, has caught a bug and therefore is going to go to Daddy Doctors as he can fix anything nerdy and technical.
My mum's birthday is today! Woo! Happy birthday momma! <3
New News number two!
I went out TWICE to parties this weekend. On friday there was a gig at Saint Brendans (Some dingy pub in Corby) which turned out to be crap and since I wasn't drinking, there was no point in me being there so I came home. And I felt guilty for being out so soon after the news about boyf's gran.
Oh and the other party was last night, Saturday. People ran out of drink but me not having any had a good time anyways, just hanging with people. Had a nice dance with the host. Bwahaha
New News number three!
It's my birthday and boyf's on thursday coming up! Yes, same day. "It's destinyyyyy" XD
New News number four! (Almost wrote three, that's how much I suck at maths)
Twilight- New Moon comes out Friday! I'm going to the evening showing and will probably report back once my computer gets back from the Daddy Doctors. Which brings me on to...
New News number five!
My computer has gone completely kaput. I'm writing from my computer at dad's as my usual, Charlie, has caught a bug and therefore is going to go to Daddy Doctors as he can fix anything nerdy and technical.
Thursday, 12 November 2009
W.H Auden
W. H. Auden
"Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good."
"Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good."
Death
I just got news that my boyfriends gran passed away this morning. She had lung cancer and we only found that out recently, so it was a bit of a shock.
I haven't had anyone close to me die and she was like a grandparent to me. At my prom she came up and held my hands in hers and said "I'm so glad that you are with Luke, you look beautiful."
I don't want to say any more.
I haven't had anyone close to me die and she was like a grandparent to me. At my prom she came up and held my hands in hers and said "I'm so glad that you are with Luke, you look beautiful."
I don't want to say any more.
Wednesday, 11 November 2009
Organ Donation
This is something I always had a very fixed opinion on. I grew them, they are mine. Tough luck.
I believed that if there was some sort of afterlife, I would want to be totally whole in person when I get there.
It sounds kind of sad but after watching one movie my eyes have been opened as to how selfish I may have been. Seven Pounds is an amazing movie, heart breaking in the kindest of ways. It really made me re-think about what I want to happen after I die.
I never have wanted to be buried, the idea of rotting away in a box never appealed to me or really any of my family, so cremation was the way forwards for me. And then in Philosophy we've done alot of religious theories about conciousness, soul and being human. It really makes to re-assess what you think and I eventually came to the conclusion that mind and soul/spirit are separate in some way. How either got there, don't know, don't really care.
But I do believe that our bodies will all rot or be burnt but our life does not end in total, our spirit cannot be harmed by the physical and the action of donating organs wouldn't take away any part of me, so why not?
When you are seventeen you are allowed to go on the list to give permission for your organs to be used after death. The possibilities of how many people you could save are incredible, and not even just bringing people past the brink of death but giving people more to live for. Giving a blind person the ability to see, someone who lives off dialysis could finally have those long hours back in their life and eat what they want, enjoy life. And of course people who loose hearts, kidneys and lungs to disease and may never find a doner after years on a list of priorities.
More and more people are being put on a 'to-do list' and I want to have the opportunity to save even one after I'm gone.
If you are one of these people with a seventeenth birthday approaching, let your thoughts wander as to whether you want to become part of something bigger.
Apologies for getting a little deep, just felt that some things need to be said.
I believed that if there was some sort of afterlife, I would want to be totally whole in person when I get there.
It sounds kind of sad but after watching one movie my eyes have been opened as to how selfish I may have been. Seven Pounds is an amazing movie, heart breaking in the kindest of ways. It really made me re-think about what I want to happen after I die.
I never have wanted to be buried, the idea of rotting away in a box never appealed to me or really any of my family, so cremation was the way forwards for me. And then in Philosophy we've done alot of religious theories about conciousness, soul and being human. It really makes to re-assess what you think and I eventually came to the conclusion that mind and soul/spirit are separate in some way. How either got there, don't know, don't really care.
But I do believe that our bodies will all rot or be burnt but our life does not end in total, our spirit cannot be harmed by the physical and the action of donating organs wouldn't take away any part of me, so why not?
When you are seventeen you are allowed to go on the list to give permission for your organs to be used after death. The possibilities of how many people you could save are incredible, and not even just bringing people past the brink of death but giving people more to live for. Giving a blind person the ability to see, someone who lives off dialysis could finally have those long hours back in their life and eat what they want, enjoy life. And of course people who loose hearts, kidneys and lungs to disease and may never find a doner after years on a list of priorities.
More and more people are being put on a 'to-do list' and I want to have the opportunity to save even one after I'm gone.
If you are one of these people with a seventeenth birthday approaching, let your thoughts wander as to whether you want to become part of something bigger.
Apologies for getting a little deep, just felt that some things need to be said.
Tuesday, 10 November 2009
My Day - Episode Three
Well today I just felt busy busy busy. Morning was Psychology, then English and everyone was tense because there was supposed to be a fire alarm and English had lots of group switching and it was rush rush rush!
Then I had a free and got a reasonable amount of work done - for a free that is. Printers hate me. I hate flashing lights from now on.
Then we had Biology and I got really into it, I love learning new theories in lots of detail and the way Mr H teaches is kinda kooky but memorable. "Come on Thymine."
Philosophy was a snore.
Got home and grabbed a wrap, mum had a go at me for overdosing on philidelphia, it goes with EVERYTHING! And then I set off to go swimming with H.P. I love that girl, barely have any lessons with her and we still managed to stay just as close as in year 7, she's a doll. <3
And now I'm chatting with my crush online while wondering what I'm going to do with boyf this weekend, finally a moment to chillax!
Then I had a free and got a reasonable amount of work done - for a free that is. Printers hate me. I hate flashing lights from now on.
Then we had Biology and I got really into it, I love learning new theories in lots of detail and the way Mr H teaches is kinda kooky but memorable. "Come on Thymine."
Philosophy was a snore.
Got home and grabbed a wrap, mum had a go at me for overdosing on philidelphia, it goes with EVERYTHING! And then I set off to go swimming with H.P. I love that girl, barely have any lessons with her and we still managed to stay just as close as in year 7, she's a doll. <3
And now I'm chatting with my crush online while wondering what I'm going to do with boyf this weekend, finally a moment to chillax!
Monday, 9 November 2009
Crushes
I think that everyone is allowed crushes, old, young, male, female, straight, gay, bisexual, asexual, single, taken, married - everyone.
Crushes are there to get you hot under the collar without commitment or pressure or any of that bollocks.
I love having crushes. But the guy I have a crush on now is definately off the beaten track for me and everyone, so why?
Well he's a gentleman, sweet, good-looking in an old fashioned soldier sort of way. And boy does he look nice in uniform. ;)
All hot under the collar. ^^
Crushes are there to get you hot under the collar without commitment or pressure or any of that bollocks.
I love having crushes. But the guy I have a crush on now is definately off the beaten track for me and everyone, so why?
Well he's a gentleman, sweet, good-looking in an old fashioned soldier sort of way. And boy does he look nice in uniform. ;)
All hot under the collar. ^^
Friday, 6 November 2009
Elaborating
My last post was meant to be an explanation included however I didn't really get around to that.
Last friday my boyfriend went to a party round someone's house and I didn't know them and couldn't be arsed so didn't go.
I was of the opinion that all had gone well and everything was hunky dory.
I texted him on the Saturday morning as we were organising to meet up with friends for the day. He said he felt sick and putting two and two together: Hangover.
I left him for a few more hours to recover until eventually he dragged himself out of bed and we got together with friends round his house and had a wonderful time. One fried who had arrived late needed to grab some dinner so I went with him to get a kebab, he had also been at said party and told me that boyf had been smoking pot part of the night in the garage.
He had once had a toke of a spliff at the busstop and I had gone skitz at him warning him that if he decided to go down that route again I would be severely dissapointed and my opinion of him would totally change- what do you know, he does it again.
I confronted him about it when the party died down a little and he insisted it was only one toke and the only reason he seemed so bad was because he had mixed a bit of drink with drugs and it had had a bad affect.
I said okay and that I wasn't too bothered, his choice and all.
We had a nice saturday and sunday
Sunday night I had a late night anyways and watched a movie. finally got to sleep at half eleven and quarter past midnight my phone starts ringing.
It's Luke, confessing all in the middle of the night. "Babe it wasn't just one toke I had probably more than three and I was there for more of the night."
Obv I was not only completely tired and out of it, but pissed that he had rang my up in the middle of the night. I can't even remember what I said. I sort of a had a moan, told him it was okay really and to leave me to sleep.
Then on tuesday night I rang him to talk it over and it suddenly comes up that a girl in our year randomly hit on him and he was saved by one of his mates who took her off his hands! Yet another thing he had hidden from me.
I was not a happy bunny to say the least.
Obv this was all a while ago and it's pretty much died down now and is okay, but WHAT AN ASS!
Last friday my boyfriend went to a party round someone's house and I didn't know them and couldn't be arsed so didn't go.
I was of the opinion that all had gone well and everything was hunky dory.
I texted him on the Saturday morning as we were organising to meet up with friends for the day. He said he felt sick and putting two and two together: Hangover.
I left him for a few more hours to recover until eventually he dragged himself out of bed and we got together with friends round his house and had a wonderful time. One fried who had arrived late needed to grab some dinner so I went with him to get a kebab, he had also been at said party and told me that boyf had been smoking pot part of the night in the garage.
He had once had a toke of a spliff at the busstop and I had gone skitz at him warning him that if he decided to go down that route again I would be severely dissapointed and my opinion of him would totally change- what do you know, he does it again.
I confronted him about it when the party died down a little and he insisted it was only one toke and the only reason he seemed so bad was because he had mixed a bit of drink with drugs and it had had a bad affect.
I said okay and that I wasn't too bothered, his choice and all.
We had a nice saturday and sunday
Sunday night I had a late night anyways and watched a movie. finally got to sleep at half eleven and quarter past midnight my phone starts ringing.
It's Luke, confessing all in the middle of the night. "Babe it wasn't just one toke I had probably more than three and I was there for more of the night."
Obv I was not only completely tired and out of it, but pissed that he had rang my up in the middle of the night. I can't even remember what I said. I sort of a had a moan, told him it was okay really and to leave me to sleep.
Then on tuesday night I rang him to talk it over and it suddenly comes up that a girl in our year randomly hit on him and he was saved by one of his mates who took her off his hands! Yet another thing he had hidden from me.
I was not a happy bunny to say the least.
Obv this was all a while ago and it's pretty much died down now and is okay, but WHAT AN ASS!
Tuesday, 3 November 2009
Sunday, 1 November 2009
How horrid
Just found out that my sister has read my diaries a few times. Realllyyyy annoying. She had good intentions but a girl does need her privacy you know.
She'd better not read my new one, it's a bit explicit! XD
She'd better not read my new one, it's a bit explicit! XD
Thursday, 29 October 2009
As you may have noticed...
I have been posting my old diary entries.
Those that are up there already were from the very beginning of my diary names Belle. I started her on 25th Dec 08 and Ended on 25th Aug 09. So, looking at what was in it, it was a short amount of time. It's a thick diary so I don't know if I'll keep up posting every single one. I may read through and start picking out funny or interesting ones.
Also you may have noticed I don't use names. I use initials and like references bu I don't want to use names. Mainly because sometimes there are negative comments about them but also just in case they suddenly approach me eyes blazing saying they didn't want to be named. And you people reading it may actually know who I'm talking about and tell them or something, which wouldn't be nice. Really.
So enjoy the entries, give feedback, those are just the jist of what my diary sounds like. Pretty boring reading really. Comment to say if you want them to continue. ^^
Those that are up there already were from the very beginning of my diary names Belle. I started her on 25th Dec 08 and Ended on 25th Aug 09. So, looking at what was in it, it was a short amount of time. It's a thick diary so I don't know if I'll keep up posting every single one. I may read through and start picking out funny or interesting ones.
Also you may have noticed I don't use names. I use initials and like references bu I don't want to use names. Mainly because sometimes there are negative comments about them but also just in case they suddenly approach me eyes blazing saying they didn't want to be named. And you people reading it may actually know who I'm talking about and tell them or something, which wouldn't be nice. Really.
So enjoy the entries, give feedback, those are just the jist of what my diary sounds like. Pretty boring reading really. Comment to say if you want them to continue. ^^
3,4,5th Jan 09 - Diary
Dear Belle,
Happy new year!
Welcome to 2009.
New year. New resolutions and stuff. I was with boyf for New Years day bells. It was magical. We kissed at the bells and fireworks went off. I'll never forget it. x
Magical.
Dear Belle, Just went to see the movie Australia. Very good! directed by Baz Luhrman who directed Moulin Rouge. So yeah he is a born genius.
Dear Belle, Had a mini tiff with J (Supposed to be bessy girl mate) Well not really. I just got upset that we weren't as close anymore.
My hierarchy goes
Boyf
J. L and A. P
C.L, B.R, H.P and M.M
Hers goes
J.A
L.?, A.A, M.M
H. P and B.R
Me.
You can see why I got upset. We watched Hotel Rwanda in school. It's about a massacre in Africe. I thought about boyf and what he had witnessed. Got pretty emotional. I never really realised what he went through but now I understand.
Ciao. xxx
P.s School was boring as ever.
Happy new year!
Welcome to 2009.
New year. New resolutions and stuff. I was with boyf for New Years day bells. It was magical. We kissed at the bells and fireworks went off. I'll never forget it. x
Magical.
Dear Belle, Just went to see the movie Australia. Very good! directed by Baz Luhrman who directed Moulin Rouge. So yeah he is a born genius.
Dear Belle, Had a mini tiff with J (Supposed to be bessy girl mate) Well not really. I just got upset that we weren't as close anymore.
My hierarchy goes
Boyf
J. L and A. P
C.L, B.R, H.P and M.M
Hers goes
J.A
L.?, A.A, M.M
H. P and B.R
Me.
You can see why I got upset. We watched Hotel Rwanda in school. It's about a massacre in Africe. I thought about boyf and what he had witnessed. Got pretty emotional. I never really realised what he went through but now I understand.
Ciao. xxx
P.s School was boring as ever.
28&29 Dec 08
Dear Belle, I'm very happy and nervous today! Boyf has said that I could join his family celebrations for new years. That means that mum can go out with Step-dad and Sister can go out to her party without having to worry about me! <3
Dear Belle, I'm worried like mad about this new year thing. I don't want to miss all my crazy family traditions and spend it with some strange family! It's going to be insanely weird not having all my crazy family traditions.
I wasn't cordially invited, I had to sort of ask to come and intrude on their plans, now it's turned out that they had invited boyf and his sis to dinner and they're having to change their plans to include me, so now I really feel like I'm intruding. I recently went through my old diaries and letters, organising them into order or catagories and stuff. It's nice to look at old stuff, remember who you are.
It's weird how boyf and ex-boyf letters have the same feeling of desperate devotion. Hmm. Maybe I have that effect on guys.
Dear Belle, I'm worried like mad about this new year thing. I don't want to miss all my crazy family traditions and spend it with some strange family! It's going to be insanely weird not having all my crazy family traditions.
I wasn't cordially invited, I had to sort of ask to come and intrude on their plans, now it's turned out that they had invited boyf and his sis to dinner and they're having to change their plans to include me, so now I really feel like I'm intruding. I recently went through my old diaries and letters, organising them into order or catagories and stuff. It's nice to look at old stuff, remember who you are.
It's weird how boyf and ex-boyf letters have the same feeling of desperate devotion. Hmm. Maybe I have that effect on guys.
27th Dec 08 - Diary
Dear Black Book, I am so going to have to think of a more creative name for you. How does Alana sound? Too fancy to write perhaps.
Faith? That sounds a bit preachy.
Belle, it's pretty. Doesn't look too bad when I write it.
Confirmed with P.H (A good male friend) Belle it is.
So Belle. Oh my hands smell gorgeous. Flower by Kenzo. Very Floral. Today I spent mainly chilling around the house getting used to my bedroom. I miss the boyf no end. Texted him. He hasn't replied yet, which usually means that he won't. D: Had a really nice long conversation with P.H about various things and decided I'm gonna go round his on monday. That should cure my boredom at least for a few hours. I'll wearing something teasing to make it funny. Actually no. I'll behave. Be Good!
Faith? That sounds a bit preachy.
Belle, it's pretty. Doesn't look too bad when I write it.
Confirmed with P.H (A good male friend) Belle it is.
So Belle. Oh my hands smell gorgeous. Flower by Kenzo. Very Floral. Today I spent mainly chilling around the house getting used to my bedroom. I miss the boyf no end. Texted him. He hasn't replied yet, which usually means that he won't. D: Had a really nice long conversation with P.H about various things and decided I'm gonna go round his on monday. That should cure my boredom at least for a few hours. I'll wearing something teasing to make it funny. Actually no. I'll behave. Be Good!
26th December 08 - Diary
Dear Black book, boxing day with the family plus Luke went well. The only thing that worries me is mum's special attention to almost every move I make. I kept reading a magazine when he went to play on the wii and apparently that was enough to cause suspicion. She was asing if me and the boyf were okay and she's figured out that he's more into me than vice versa. Which is true.
All in all it did go pretty well. Everyone likes the boyf although step-dad called him 'pompous'. Cousin's boyfriend got called 'chavvy' though and I think pompous isn't as bad.
Have a headache
Goodnight.
xx
(Oh and it's not that I don't love him, I just know he likes me more, as he is not quite as accepting of a distant future break-up.)
All in all it did go pretty well. Everyone likes the boyf although step-dad called him 'pompous'. Cousin's boyfriend got called 'chavvy' though and I think pompous isn't as bad.
Have a headache
Goodnight.
xx
(Oh and it's not that I don't love him, I just know he likes me more, as he is not quite as accepting of a distant future break-up.)
25th December 2008 - Diary
Dear Black Book, Today is Christmas day as you probably guessed. I am a sixteen year old girl with a heap of apparent 'troubles' and 'teen dramas'. My boyfriend is sweet and somewhat overly caring. He loves me and sometimes I doubt I love him, but I'm pretty sure I do the rest of the time (kind a big statement for the first stage)((Woops I meant page...))
Anyways, the past few days were mainly spent with Luke, my dad and my sister. Today, woke up at dads, got a new phone and other presents and then midday went back to mums house for more presents including straighteners and a digital photo frame. Masses of chocolate of course. :D Tommorow we're heading over to my aunts house and the boyfs meeting the family. Le gasp.
He's crapping himself of course. Mega Lol.
Anyways, the past few days were mainly spent with Luke, my dad and my sister. Today, woke up at dads, got a new phone and other presents and then midday went back to mums house for more presents including straighteners and a digital photo frame. Masses of chocolate of course. :D Tommorow we're heading over to my aunts house and the boyfs meeting the family. Le gasp.
He's crapping himself of course. Mega Lol.
Wednesday, 28 October 2009
True Blood
I am obsessed.
Vampires that are more badass that Twilight and (debatably) hotter.
More blood, gore and totally way more sex.
Ongoing series that you can totally get into.
True Blood. 10pm on Channel 4.
Get obsessed!
Vampires that are more badass that Twilight and (debatably) hotter.
More blood, gore and totally way more sex.
Ongoing series that you can totally get into.
True Blood. 10pm on Channel 4.
Get obsessed!
Monday, 26 October 2009
Neighbours, Everybody needs good neighbours!
Basically I am getting really wound up by the next door neighbours!
They have the yappiest dog ever! When I was off school, they would leave the house and the dog would bark for about 3 hours non-stop. I always hoped it was barking cause someone was KICKING IT! Of course it never was but I could hope.
When I was a kid I lived in a grove, everybody knew everybody (almost) and most of the families there had young kids. I loved my neighbours. In that same grove, now there is a dodgy bike dealer where the girl who liked to dance used to live. There is a drug addict two doors down who looks so thin he's going to break.
So yeah. Whatever happened to the world? Good neighbourly fun? Parties in the street? Welcoming new neighbours with a basket of cheese and wine? I miss the good old day and that street party we had for the Queens Jubilee.
They have the yappiest dog ever! When I was off school, they would leave the house and the dog would bark for about 3 hours non-stop. I always hoped it was barking cause someone was KICKING IT! Of course it never was but I could hope.
When I was a kid I lived in a grove, everybody knew everybody (almost) and most of the families there had young kids. I loved my neighbours. In that same grove, now there is a dodgy bike dealer where the girl who liked to dance used to live. There is a drug addict two doors down who looks so thin he's going to break.
So yeah. Whatever happened to the world? Good neighbourly fun? Parties in the street? Welcoming new neighbours with a basket of cheese and wine? I miss the good old day and that street party we had for the Queens Jubilee.
Saturday, 24 October 2009
My Fans
I might have mentioned before, I forget, that I collect fans. Above is a picture of my collection of 23 foreign, old, colourful and wonderful fans.
It started out with the first fan I got, number 23, from Cyprus. I went on hoiday and got it purely because I was really hot. It broke so I bought another one and then in every place I visited I wanted a souvenir and a fan was ideal.
Number 2 is my smallest fan, it's around about half the size of a regular one and is adorable!
Number 3 is the largest I have and I can only just grab each end with my arms outstretched, possibly this is one of my favourites purely because of the size.
Number 4 and 5 are the oldest at over 40 years old! They were given to me by my boyfriends grandparents who got them from Spain ages ago.
Number 6 is brilliant! From Thailand, this turns into a hat when pulled fully open. When only half open, it's a fan. Woohoo!
Number 7 was a gift when my mum went on holiday to somewhere, can't remember. I am a scorpio and I love mythical things, I have a greek god on one of my shelves so I love this one.
Number 8 was the second fan I bought, also from cyprus.
Number 9 is from Spain, bought on a holiday that was cut short when a disaster occured and one of my relatives was viciously attacked and close to passing away.
Number 10 is from Kettering, a town close to my little village. The woman had labelled everything as "Lovely" so this lovely fan always makes me smile.
Number 11 I have no idea where it came from. It's a mystery to me.
Number 12 as it says on the fan itself, from Ibiza. I loved that holiday, with my sister, dad, uncle and cousin. We just chilled all week.
Number 13 is also a mystery, I have the feeling my mum got me it from her holiday but I am still puzzled as to where she goes on holiday.
Number 14 a gift from a friend who went to Spain. Love the colour.
Number 15 Might be from Gibraltar, I know I bought a fan there I just can't remember which one. I think it's this one.
Number 16 is actually really interesting. It doesn't open to have a flat bottom, just to a V and is a great vivid colour. It's from Vigo which I totally loved, my favourite place.
Number 17 is my absolute favourite. This is from Barcelona and I even bartered for it.
Number 18 actually sits on a stand in my room next to my two parasols. It looks foreign but actually it's from Skegness, my childhood holiday love. I adore it.
Number 19 I bought this purely so I could have a fan to say that I've been to Lisbon. I then looked up what Caras meant and it apparently means "Guys".
Number 20 first fan I bought on my cruise, from Malaga. I just love it, it's so bright and shouty!
Number 21 my mum got me from Lanzerotti, I only remember that because it's a strange name for a country, or whatever it is.
Number 22 is from Livorno, that was a boring day. It was a Sunday and the whole town was asleep.
And of course number 23 is from Cyprus and is what sparked this whole obsession!
Vote for your favourite or just comment on how boring this might have been. XD
Friday, 23 October 2009
My Day - Episode Two
Well. Today I woke up round my boyfriend's house. (I love being able to say that!)
He's so adorable when he sleeps. He's finally realised I can't sleep with him touching me in any way, like even toes touching my leg, so I got a really good nights sleep. He told me apparently I sleep weird. I don't really snore, I just have heavy breathing that borders on snore and sometimes I stop breathing momentarily and I seem a bit... you know... dead.
Then we had a nice morning hug/tousle. You know when you start hugging then you realise your in a prime position to make your feet tickle theirs and they can't move? No? Perhaps it's just an us thing.
Got up and showered eventually. Had my first breakfast of frosties, bleurgh. Then we went to my house. Trying to scooter on the side of a bike whilst holding a ukelele is more difficult than you'd think! Got to my dads house, had second breakfast. Lay down watching tevo, realised I was bored shitless. Like actually bored out of my MIND!
So we played Payday. It's like a kids version of monopoly that moves really fast and instead of moving around streets on a board, you move around days on a calender. It's more fun than monopoly. Boyf won, surprise.
Dad came home. Had my suitcase packed and I am HOOOMEEE!
Aka, back at my mums house where I spend the majority of my time, and can chill out muuucch easier. Bring on the nail painting and scented candles. My room smells crazey when I'm chillaxing.
So yes. Now I am back at my house, mum's house. Just being in my room. I should be unpacking really but hey, what's more important?... Yeah. Unpacking. I'll get to that.
I think I may have to take pictures of my room to give you a tour in a blog sometime. Yeah, that's a good idea.
He's so adorable when he sleeps. He's finally realised I can't sleep with him touching me in any way, like even toes touching my leg, so I got a really good nights sleep. He told me apparently I sleep weird. I don't really snore, I just have heavy breathing that borders on snore and sometimes I stop breathing momentarily and I seem a bit... you know... dead.
Then we had a nice morning hug/tousle. You know when you start hugging then you realise your in a prime position to make your feet tickle theirs and they can't move? No? Perhaps it's just an us thing.
Got up and showered eventually. Had my first breakfast of frosties, bleurgh. Then we went to my house. Trying to scooter on the side of a bike whilst holding a ukelele is more difficult than you'd think! Got to my dads house, had second breakfast. Lay down watching tevo, realised I was bored shitless. Like actually bored out of my MIND!
So we played Payday. It's like a kids version of monopoly that moves really fast and instead of moving around streets on a board, you move around days on a calender. It's more fun than monopoly. Boyf won, surprise.
Dad came home. Had my suitcase packed and I am HOOOMEEE!
Aka, back at my mums house where I spend the majority of my time, and can chill out muuucch easier. Bring on the nail painting and scented candles. My room smells crazey when I'm chillaxing.
So yes. Now I am back at my house, mum's house. Just being in my room. I should be unpacking really but hey, what's more important?... Yeah. Unpacking. I'll get to that.
I think I may have to take pictures of my room to give you a tour in a blog sometime. Yeah, that's a good idea.
Wednesday, 21 October 2009
Good Morning!
Well I was going to post to say that I was waiting for my boyfriend, but my computer is ancient and by the time I actually got here he had already come in and now he's behind me.
I forgot what I was going to say. Oh yeah! Freaky things I do. Well I don't think they are freaky; actually I'd say they were my little quirks.
For one thing, breakfast is always strange. I like to have warm food for breakfast so that's crap like yogurt and cereal out the window. I also like something filling so stuff like toast is gone too. This morning I had a reasonably normal breakfast, a bagel. Yum. But yesterday I had a bowl of rice and the day before I had noodles and salami. Yummy!
Other things are stuff like warming my feet with my hair dryer when I'm cold. I don't think that's weird. It works. ^^
Humm, what other things do I do? I eat the inside of my cheeks. I hang upside down after a long day walking.
Not to mention breaking out in song whenever someone mentions a word related to a song. Like "Whenever" Makes me sing Shakira. "Whenever! Wherever!"
Anyways, boyf is distracting me. So ciao! Have a nice day y'all.
I forgot what I was going to say. Oh yeah! Freaky things I do. Well I don't think they are freaky; actually I'd say they were my little quirks.
For one thing, breakfast is always strange. I like to have warm food for breakfast so that's crap like yogurt and cereal out the window. I also like something filling so stuff like toast is gone too. This morning I had a reasonably normal breakfast, a bagel. Yum. But yesterday I had a bowl of rice and the day before I had noodles and salami. Yummy!
Other things are stuff like warming my feet with my hair dryer when I'm cold. I don't think that's weird. It works. ^^
Humm, what other things do I do? I eat the inside of my cheeks. I hang upside down after a long day walking.
Not to mention breaking out in song whenever someone mentions a word related to a song. Like "Whenever" Makes me sing Shakira. "Whenever! Wherever!"
Anyways, boyf is distracting me. So ciao! Have a nice day y'all.
Tuesday, 20 October 2009
My Day
I have had a lovely day. Woke up thinking I was going to my boyfriends house for some romping and playing on various consoles, but no: my fate was different today.
Decided to stay home and spend some time with my Dad. We went shopping to ASDA and he told some funny stories about the ridiculous coffee servers at his college. Then we came home, he fixed my computer chair, he fixed the bike, he fixed the freezer and I thought my dad was useless. Ha.
Then I was all set for getting dinner together and settling down to a movie for the night when Dad goes to his usual routine of online gaming with his Swedish buddy. Bummer.
Parents alawys complain about their kids never spending time with them and being so involved in their own lives they barely notice the world passing by. Really, all adults are big kids too, and every adult is a child ignoring the world.
Still, I watched a movie including sex scenes with both Ewan McGregor AND Hugh Jackman. Lucky me.
Decided to stay home and spend some time with my Dad. We went shopping to ASDA and he told some funny stories about the ridiculous coffee servers at his college. Then we came home, he fixed my computer chair, he fixed the bike, he fixed the freezer and I thought my dad was useless. Ha.
Then I was all set for getting dinner together and settling down to a movie for the night when Dad goes to his usual routine of online gaming with his Swedish buddy. Bummer.
Parents alawys complain about their kids never spending time with them and being so involved in their own lives they barely notice the world passing by. Really, all adults are big kids too, and every adult is a child ignoring the world.
Still, I watched a movie including sex scenes with both Ewan McGregor AND Hugh Jackman. Lucky me.
Autumn
Things I love about autumn are the beautiful colours and the crunch of leaves underneath my feet when I walk. Kicking up piles of leaves and watching them flutter to the ground. The fact it isn't cold, but it's not exactly warm. The fresh mornings, dewy grass. Rosy cheeks. Children wrapped up in so many layers they waddle. Scarves and gloves, hats with pompoms. Bonfire night. Fireworks. My Birthday. Sparklers. Fireplaces finally having a use. Radiators warming up while you lean against them. Warm winter puddings like hot chocolate fudge cake, but still having ice creams. The buzz of coming holidays, Christmas and Halloween. Constantly having a fluffy blanket with me, especially when curling up to watch a movie. Plus I love slippers being acceptable again.
Things I hate about autumn. The coming of winter. Having perpetually cold fingers. Runny noses. Cold rain. Wet leaves stuck to windows. When it's so windy it's like a twister. Having to wear a huge coat after planning my outfit so carefully. Early dark. Late light. Having less time. Getting frizzy dry hair. But mostly I hate the cold.
Overall. I love Autumn. I think that I will always link it to my childhood where we'd rake leaves into piles, pretend we were birds and they were our nests or throw them in the air and try to catch as many as possible. Autumn is my season, the best season.
Things I hate about autumn. The coming of winter. Having perpetually cold fingers. Runny noses. Cold rain. Wet leaves stuck to windows. When it's so windy it's like a twister. Having to wear a huge coat after planning my outfit so carefully. Early dark. Late light. Having less time. Getting frizzy dry hair. But mostly I hate the cold.
Overall. I love Autumn. I think that I will always link it to my childhood where we'd rake leaves into piles, pretend we were birds and they were our nests or throw them in the air and try to catch as many as possible. Autumn is my season, the best season.
Monday, 19 October 2009
Something Epic Happened!
Surprise surprise I actually have something interesting to tell you.
My mother changed her mind. Oh, you heard me right, she changed her mind. Epic.
So the full story. I have been dating my boyfriend since I was fifteen and us being totally in-lurve we started getting jiggy a while after we had got together. My mother found out about this through my dad, who accidentily almost barged in on us. Not fun.
The parents are separated and have been since I was eight. In fact I really should have mentioned this earlier. I will do a quick family run down.
Mum and Dad, both nuts, dad's the soft one, obsessed with dvds and online gaming into the early hours. Mum is the protective one, rightly so. They split when I was around 8 years old, the day before my older sister's tenth birthday. Ouch or what. Anyways, they had split up. Mum found her partner and he moved in with us when I was nine and living with mum and sis. Dad was living alone until recently when he found his partner. She is really nice, we have the same taste in movies and have a laugh. Sis basically lives in her room all the time, hunced over her laptop, computer, psp or a sketchbook. Art obsessive. She's eighteen at the moment. I turn seventeen next month.
Back to the story. I was with the boyf in my room and Dad tried to throw open the door but I managed to tell him not and we then h ad to go downstairs and break the news. He was not best pleased and immediately rang mum and told her. From then on,many rules stood in place. As the parents have begun to accept that the boyf is here to stay, the rules have changed slightly. Instead of not being allowed upstairs together, we are allowed in my room but with the door open. Wow.
One rule looked like it would never budge and that was that I was not allowed to stay round the bofs house and vice versa. However, shock horror, this has changed. Mum had come in once after having a bit of drink and I felt a little brave and decided to get her point of view and put my own across. Despite foaming at the mouth and the partner feeling so awkward he kept changing the subject to Pizza, mum agreed to think about it.
Lo and behold next morning I spoke to mum and she said that I was allowed to stay round the boyfs house.
Hallelujah!
My mother changed her mind. Oh, you heard me right, she changed her mind. Epic.
So the full story. I have been dating my boyfriend since I was fifteen and us being totally in-lurve we started getting jiggy a while after we had got together. My mother found out about this through my dad, who accidentily almost barged in on us. Not fun.
The parents are separated and have been since I was eight. In fact I really should have mentioned this earlier. I will do a quick family run down.
Mum and Dad, both nuts, dad's the soft one, obsessed with dvds and online gaming into the early hours. Mum is the protective one, rightly so. They split when I was around 8 years old, the day before my older sister's tenth birthday. Ouch or what. Anyways, they had split up. Mum found her partner and he moved in with us when I was nine and living with mum and sis. Dad was living alone until recently when he found his partner. She is really nice, we have the same taste in movies and have a laugh. Sis basically lives in her room all the time, hunced over her laptop, computer, psp or a sketchbook. Art obsessive. She's eighteen at the moment. I turn seventeen next month.
Back to the story. I was with the boyf in my room and Dad tried to throw open the door but I managed to tell him not and we then h ad to go downstairs and break the news. He was not best pleased and immediately rang mum and told her. From then on,many rules stood in place. As the parents have begun to accept that the boyf is here to stay, the rules have changed slightly. Instead of not being allowed upstairs together, we are allowed in my room but with the door open. Wow.
One rule looked like it would never budge and that was that I was not allowed to stay round the bofs house and vice versa. However, shock horror, this has changed. Mum had come in once after having a bit of drink and I felt a little brave and decided to get her point of view and put my own across. Despite foaming at the mouth and the partner feeling so awkward he kept changing the subject to Pizza, mum agreed to think about it.
Lo and behold next morning I spoke to mum and she said that I was allowed to stay round the boyfs house.
Hallelujah!
Thursday, 15 October 2009
So. Take Two.
Well hello. I know really this post should be first, but I did an introductory post before the other but didn't like it and deleted it in the end.
Take Two!
Hello. I'm Belle. At least, here I'm Belle. I do have a different name, but I prefer to be somebody different online. Gives me the opportunity to be something more than what I am. Big ideas for a little person.
I may post some diary entries on from previous diaries that are particularly interesting. You never know. Ciao.
Take Two!
Hello. I'm Belle. At least, here I'm Belle. I do have a different name, but I prefer to be somebody different online. Gives me the opportunity to be something more than what I am. Big ideas for a little person.
I may post some diary entries on from previous diaries that are particularly interesting. You never know. Ciao.
Diaries
I have been keeping a diary erratically for years, ever since I was seven years old. I started keeping almost a constant diary since I was twelve. I don't like writing "Dear Diary" so I decided it would be appropriate to name my diaries depending on what they looked like and what I felt like. For example I had a plain reporters jotter and I felt the need to be anonymous so that diary was named "John Doe." My current diary is called "Lily" because I feel soft and sweet, aswell we the diary having dragonflies on which love lilypads. Sort of appropriate.
I'll probably use this blog as my online diary. I always wanted to publish my diaries online anonymously. Now I can.
I'll probably use this blog as my online diary. I always wanted to publish my diaries online anonymously. Now I can.
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