But I'm slowly getting back to my blissful happiness.
Only stares worth a million curses to dread.
But I've got a lover worth a million wishes to keep.
Tuesday, 29 December 2009
Dear Blog,
I'm fresh out of optimism in word form.
But I'm slowly getting back to my blissful happiness.
Only stares worth a million curses to dread.
But I've got a lover worth a million wishes to keep.
But I'm slowly getting back to my blissful happiness.
Only stares worth a million curses to dread.
But I've got a lover worth a million wishes to keep.
Sunday, 27 December 2009
Scratches
Something is living in my wall.
I can hear scratches right in front of me when I sit at my desk, and all that is there is a wall.
It's the outside wall and I know there is a hole on the other side.
Is is a bird? Is it a bat?
I wish it wasn't there...
I can hear scratches right in front of me when I sit at my desk, and all that is there is a wall.
It's the outside wall and I know there is a hole on the other side.
Is is a bird? Is it a bat?
I wish it wasn't there...
Most Embarassing Moments
Some of my most embarassing moments include:
I challenge you, fellow blog writers, to come up with your own most embarassing moments list and be brave enough to blog it!
- In year 6 when my friend stood on a fancy dress skirt I was wearing whilst dancing. It came right off round my ankles, the whole year was in that room. Mortifying.
- When buying a pair of shoes the assistant said I could find those particular ones in the childrens section.
- When an ex boyfriend raided my bag on the bus and decided to grab my 'ladies toiletries' bag and show the whole bus the contents of it. I was dating him at the time. Nice.
- When that ex-boyfriend decided to list our intimate moments and secret weird habits I have on the bus to deliberately embaress me.
- When I fall over on the stairs, many a-times.
- I tried to lean my elbow to prop up my chin on my desk, missed and whacked my chin on the desk and had a massive purple bruise take over my chin for over a week.
I challenge you, fellow blog writers, to come up with your own most embarassing moments list and be brave enough to blog it!
Saturday, 26 December 2009
Coming Clean
I had a very big secret from my boyfriend that only my nearest and dearest knew about and it was tearing me apart. For almost three months I have been totally locked off from the world, throwing myself into my relationship to repent for something he didn't know.
It was a big, horrible, monstrous, I'm-going-to-ruin-your-life kind of mistake, the ones you wish you could turn back time to stop, I'd give a limb to go back. I asked him what he would do if I ever had done something like that. He said he's deleted all of my details and make me dissapear from his life.
It was a hollow threat to say the least. We are both hopelessly in love. One teary, very teary, phonecall made me come clean, wipe the slate totally spotless and we started again.
In love stronger than ever, at the weakest and more destroyed part of our relationship yet.
"Learn to appreciate failure - and respect it. Acknowledge the courage it's taken to get that far. Seeing other strive, fail and strive again spurs us all on. For we are witnessing the glorious, indomitable human spirit in action." - N.G
"Never forget the power in forgiveness. It can be incredibly releasing - it can flush you clean, uplift you, move you on." -N.G
It was a big, horrible, monstrous, I'm-going-to-ruin-your-life kind of mistake, the ones you wish you could turn back time to stop, I'd give a limb to go back. I asked him what he would do if I ever had done something like that. He said he's deleted all of my details and make me dissapear from his life.
It was a hollow threat to say the least. We are both hopelessly in love. One teary, very teary, phonecall made me come clean, wipe the slate totally spotless and we started again.
In love stronger than ever, at the weakest and more destroyed part of our relationship yet.
"Learn to appreciate failure - and respect it. Acknowledge the courage it's taken to get that far. Seeing other strive, fail and strive again spurs us all on. For we are witnessing the glorious, indomitable human spirit in action." - N.G
"Never forget the power in forgiveness. It can be incredibly releasing - it can flush you clean, uplift you, move you on." -N.G
Creep And Boxing Day
Creep is definately not creepy anymore. He still insists he likes me and will someday win me over although I remind him often that the chances of that happening are practically nonexsistent. He annoys me often by misinterpreting my actions, if I do anything nice to him or say anything vaguely complimentary he takes it as me harbouring a secret desire for him. The only secret desire I have is for a male model named David Oliver.... Oh David...
Anyways!
New years plans have gone a bit haywire since the boyf may be having a family New Years and some of the Krewe have backed out saying that they can't get out of their family New Years plans.
Damnit!
Friday, 25 December 2009
Merry Xmas
I say bonjour because I look so totally french today, beret and all.
Anyways, it's Xmas. I say Xmas because I'm not religious so it's not CHRISTmas to me. I am listening to my ye olde CDs through my slammin new beats system, a beast of a speaker hooked up to me new portable dvd player, banging dude.
WALK THIS WAY!
TALK THIS WAY!
Well I got alot of stuffs for Xmas, all of it I adore. This hat has barely left my head. Thankyou Boyf's parents and sis!
Most random present award goes to: MUM with the mini sewing machine! (Last year it was a full pink toolkit. Maddo)
Most useful present award goes to: DAD and maybe his girlf. For the book of how to do just about everything! I will never need to google a skill again. :D
Cutest present award goes to: MUMS BOYF for the heatable pink bunny whom I've called Flump. ^^
The 'Totally Me' present goes to: MUM again for the black and peacock feather fan. *Dribble*
The 'OMG' present goes to: SISTER for the four Twilight Saga notebooks.
And the rest I just adore so much!
It's been so relaxed this Xmas, we downsized on pressies so less money worries, dinner was more relaxed, mum was actually chilled out for once and it's just been super sweet! At midnight I got like 4 texts from people saying Merry Xmas and I was like "Awww GUYYYSS".
Where the hell am I going to put that mini sewing machine?...
I keep having pretty weird dreams where I deface Flame's property, leaving huge signs proclaiming what an ass he is and like spraypainting sheep to spell *DICK* and stuff. I'm so mad at him, and mad at myself 'cause part of me is the opposite of mad at him.
On the other hand, it sounds cheesy and horrible but I have to get it out of my system. I had the most amazing experience with the boyf. I just felt so close to him, emotionally and yes, spiritually. I feel like I've had an epiphany or an awakening. I miss him now and I only saw him like two days ago and he's texting me as I write. I feel like I've tore him open and it's up to me to mend him and sew him back up again.
I asked him what he saw when I looked in the mirror, what he thought of himself. He said he onl looked in the mirror to do his hair and doesn't look at himself if he can help it. He thinks he's horribly unnatractive and every compliment I give him he shrugs off with one for me.
Have I done this by messing around? I think I've broken a man...
:'(
Friday, 18 December 2009
Edit: THIS is the Best Video Ever
Oh my god, first time I saw this I was literally in tears with laughter!
My day - Epsiode Seven
Well actually I lied. It's more what I've been doing since my last post.
I'll go for the most recent.
TODAY!
It snowed! Which means that my whole day plan was ruined. I was meant to be going off to my dad's house today until Xmas but of course the weather is too bad for him to come so the plans have been called off! Ah well. My and my sis donned the ugly hats and played in the snow. Mum was a bah humbug when she got home and told us we should have done something more useful.
YESTERDAY
Was our last day at school. Swapped pressies with Wallflower and Darling One, the two lovelies. I got some gorgeous smellies off Wallflower, Vanilla which is the best smell ever. And I got bracelets and The Notebook to read off her too. Darling One got me the most beautiful little flip mirror in a cutesy little pouch and a moulin rouge poster (I love!).
They know me so well.
Note: I think there are birds living in my wall, I can hear tapping and shuffling as I write... Worrying!
THE DAY BEFORE YESTERDAY
We had a half day at school and I had two frees in the morning. We swapped presents around the Krewe. Me and Goldilocks got each other and she got my a lovely lovely lovely Hunks calender with sexy men. I'm in love with Mr Septembers bum. <3 She also got me some yummy vanilla candles (Spotting a trend now? XD) and some revels.
From the boyf I got two more books by N.G, Cleave and The Book of Rapture. I'm reading the Book of Rapture at the moment. I love the pace which N.G writes it. For a long time it's just feelings described really poetically and really philosophical writings and then suddenly WHAM something really dramatic happens and it just stops your heart. Love her!
So anyways, half day and we went round to P.Diddy's house and watched a heck of a lot of Big Bang Theory. It sort of ended up like a battle ground as we found guns which shot foam bullets and ended up waging a war against everyone you could shoot. We totally trashed the house and I feel really bad for not staying and helping cleaning up. (Sorry dude!)
EPICALLY DRAMATIC NEWS:
Whilst this massive war was going on, ex-crush who now is more disgusting-horny-fanboy AKA Creep decided to join me hiding underneath a large pillow. He nuzzled up against my cheek and went "This is nice" and started to reach for me. Obv, I was totally freaked so I said "Get off me" and bolted out from under the pillow. I avoided him for the rest of the night.
When I got home he texted me saying that he apologises for ruining my evening and I told him not to text me again. He did because obviously he is brain dead. Nevertheless, I didn't reply again and he got the message.
The next day I told the boyf whow as not best pleased and is now on the hunt for blood, although luckily he's too much of a nice guy to do anything more than glare and shoulder barge people.
Later on I was on msn at home and then Creep came online and apologised again but also said that he doesn't take it back because it does reflect his feelings.
He then went on to tell me that he has basically been in love with me since year 8 and has dealt with rejection so many times he's just not going to give up anymore.
So there, that's what I've been doing recently. And now I am freaked.
I'll go for the most recent.
TODAY!
It snowed! Which means that my whole day plan was ruined. I was meant to be going off to my dad's house today until Xmas but of course the weather is too bad for him to come so the plans have been called off! Ah well. My and my sis donned the ugly hats and played in the snow. Mum was a bah humbug when she got home and told us we should have done something more useful.
YESTERDAY
Was our last day at school. Swapped pressies with Wallflower and Darling One, the two lovelies. I got some gorgeous smellies off Wallflower, Vanilla which is the best smell ever. And I got bracelets and The Notebook to read off her too. Darling One got me the most beautiful little flip mirror in a cutesy little pouch and a moulin rouge poster (I love!).
They know me so well.
Note: I think there are birds living in my wall, I can hear tapping and shuffling as I write... Worrying!
THE DAY BEFORE YESTERDAY
We had a half day at school and I had two frees in the morning. We swapped presents around the Krewe. Me and Goldilocks got each other and she got my a lovely lovely lovely Hunks calender with sexy men. I'm in love with Mr Septembers bum. <3 She also got me some yummy vanilla candles (Spotting a trend now? XD) and some revels.
From the boyf I got two more books by N.G, Cleave and The Book of Rapture. I'm reading the Book of Rapture at the moment. I love the pace which N.G writes it. For a long time it's just feelings described really poetically and really philosophical writings and then suddenly WHAM something really dramatic happens and it just stops your heart. Love her!
So anyways, half day and we went round to P.Diddy's house and watched a heck of a lot of Big Bang Theory. It sort of ended up like a battle ground as we found guns which shot foam bullets and ended up waging a war against everyone you could shoot. We totally trashed the house and I feel really bad for not staying and helping cleaning up. (Sorry dude!)
EPICALLY DRAMATIC NEWS:
Whilst this massive war was going on, ex-crush who now is more disgusting-horny-fanboy AKA Creep decided to join me hiding underneath a large pillow. He nuzzled up against my cheek and went "This is nice" and started to reach for me. Obv, I was totally freaked so I said "Get off me" and bolted out from under the pillow. I avoided him for the rest of the night.
When I got home he texted me saying that he apologises for ruining my evening and I told him not to text me again. He did because obviously he is brain dead. Nevertheless, I didn't reply again and he got the message.
The next day I told the boyf whow as not best pleased and is now on the hunt for blood, although luckily he's too much of a nice guy to do anything more than glare and shoulder barge people.
Later on I was on msn at home and then Creep came online and apologised again but also said that he doesn't take it back because it does reflect his feelings.
He then went on to tell me that he has basically been in love with me since year 8 and has dealt with rejection so many times he's just not going to give up anymore.
So there, that's what I've been doing recently. And now I am freaked.
Saturday, 12 December 2009
My dirty little secret is....
I've fallen back in love with anime. Schock horror!
I won't say which one I'm watching but it's not one of the giants which has like 300 episodes, that would just really tire me, never being able to see the end.
So yeah, it's really cute. I'm at my boyfriends house. He's just got out the shower and smells absolutely scrumptious, I could just eat him up. ^^
I'm trying to watch it but it's wireless internet connection so it's pretty damn useless to be honest.
Apparently we are going out tonight with his aunty and uncle. Hopefully I can skank an invite. I got him the main bulk of his Xmas pressy today when I was out in the town with the Krewe. Helped P.H start getting pressies aswell. He's got absolutely no idea.
So anyways, today we met up to hang around town and ended up getting pizza and sitting about boyf's house just having a laugh and eating.
New member B.H had her first day out with the Krewe and she did look a little bit awkward to start off with but she commented that she thought out Krewe was lovely and that she enjoyed herself, so that made me feel nice.
In regards to other things. Crush is pretty much gone. Flame I now pretty much hate. Family is all good, christmas is shaping up well although I still have a few presents to get an literally only days to get them. I've even pretty much sorted out new year aswell.
I won't say which one I'm watching but it's not one of the giants which has like 300 episodes, that would just really tire me, never being able to see the end.
So yeah, it's really cute. I'm at my boyfriends house. He's just got out the shower and smells absolutely scrumptious, I could just eat him up. ^^
I'm trying to watch it but it's wireless internet connection so it's pretty damn useless to be honest.
Apparently we are going out tonight with his aunty and uncle. Hopefully I can skank an invite. I got him the main bulk of his Xmas pressy today when I was out in the town with the Krewe. Helped P.H start getting pressies aswell. He's got absolutely no idea.
So anyways, today we met up to hang around town and ended up getting pizza and sitting about boyf's house just having a laugh and eating.
New member B.H had her first day out with the Krewe and she did look a little bit awkward to start off with but she commented that she thought out Krewe was lovely and that she enjoyed herself, so that made me feel nice.
In regards to other things. Crush is pretty much gone. Flame I now pretty much hate. Family is all good, christmas is shaping up well although I still have a few presents to get an literally only days to get them. I've even pretty much sorted out new year aswell.
Thursday, 10 December 2009
I've been thinking...
I don't want to say it outright but alot of the people who know me should know this fact. I'm open minded, I appreciate alot of things and I'm totally not judgemental. Also I'm pretty up for anything.
So there! I sort of didn't say it but I feel better about myself!
So there! I sort of didn't say it but I feel better about myself!
Monday, 7 December 2009
Oh Buggar!
Buggar it all!
I have a really sore back, and really sore legs and I don't know why! It's really frustrating. I haven't done any strenuous excercise or been twirling around to an American Smooth. I think I've probably slept wierd, it's the worst feeling in the world.
I had the most amazing near fantasy. Basically I want to go to university in London, as does my Boyf and his uncle has a flat there. Two and two together and that would be my ideallistic future. Then BABIES!
Haha.. Not really, babies are far from my mind at the moment.
I'm feeling very good deed-ish, feeling awfully nice. Loving it.
I have a really sore back, and really sore legs and I don't know why! It's really frustrating. I haven't done any strenuous excercise or been twirling around to an American Smooth. I think I've probably slept wierd, it's the worst feeling in the world.
I had the most amazing near fantasy. Basically I want to go to university in London, as does my Boyf and his uncle has a flat there. Two and two together and that would be my ideallistic future. Then BABIES!
Haha.. Not really, babies are far from my mind at the moment.
I'm feeling very good deed-ish, feeling awfully nice. Loving it.
Sunday, 6 December 2009
Xmasness
Everyones getting to that time. The coca-cola advert is on, people are eating from advent calenders and I heard a christmas song on the radio.
Oh yes.
"Holidays are coming...."
Christmas for me has never been about the presents. As a kid mum said every year "You're not getting much." and then would shower us in gifts anyway. Nowadays I don't care if I only got one gift, as long as I liked it. Even if I didn't I'd probably find that fact hilarious and enjoy it just as much.
This year we really are not getting much. I'm sort of happy about that though. Then what I get is easier to tell people about and I can enjoy each gift instead of just rolling in useless crapo.
I already know alot of what I'm getting as I went shopping with Mama this weekend and I basically picked my own presents. I'm so excited about giving other people presents. I know two people in particular will LOVE their presents. And I made a few of the gifts by hand with a little know-how so I feel extra giving this year even though I'm saving money by downsizing.
As I'm friends with a lot of dudes, I feel they may let the season down. We did a not-so-secret santa in our group and I have a big worry that most will not even bother and will just not get each other anything.
Oh well, I've got my girlie A.G her presents and I think that she will probably (Hopefully) like them.
Had a massive headache all day. Not good. Still happy though, nothing to complain about in life.
Had a nice daydream about trashing Flame's property, you know, massive insulting posters. *Sigh*
Oh yes.
"Holidays are coming...."
Christmas for me has never been about the presents. As a kid mum said every year "You're not getting much." and then would shower us in gifts anyway. Nowadays I don't care if I only got one gift, as long as I liked it. Even if I didn't I'd probably find that fact hilarious and enjoy it just as much.
This year we really are not getting much. I'm sort of happy about that though. Then what I get is easier to tell people about and I can enjoy each gift instead of just rolling in useless crapo.
I already know alot of what I'm getting as I went shopping with Mama this weekend and I basically picked my own presents. I'm so excited about giving other people presents. I know two people in particular will LOVE their presents. And I made a few of the gifts by hand with a little know-how so I feel extra giving this year even though I'm saving money by downsizing.
As I'm friends with a lot of dudes, I feel they may let the season down. We did a not-so-secret santa in our group and I have a big worry that most will not even bother and will just not get each other anything.
Oh well, I've got my girlie A.G her presents and I think that she will probably (Hopefully) like them.
Had a massive headache all day. Not good. Still happy though, nothing to complain about in life.
Had a nice daydream about trashing Flame's property, you know, massive insulting posters. *Sigh*
Saturday, 5 December 2009
Unfaithful
I feel it in the air
As I'm doing my hair
Preparing for another date
A kiss upon my cheek
As he reluctantly
Asks if I'm gonna be out late
I say I won't be long
Just hanging with the girls
A lie I didn't have to tell
Because we both know
Where I'm about to go
And we know it very well
Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying
I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer
Our love, his trust
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head
Get it over with
As I'm doing my hair
Preparing for another date
A kiss upon my cheek
As he reluctantly
Asks if I'm gonna be out late
I say I won't be long
Just hanging with the girls
A lie I didn't have to tell
Because we both know
Where I'm about to go
And we know it very well
Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying
I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer
Our love, his trust
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head
Get it over with
Thursday, 3 December 2009
FRICKING HELL!
I finally got so frustrated with Flames antics I asked to talk to him online. He come on and seemed a little pissed at me to be honest.
When I asked him if he felt anything for me he said he didn't and in fact our previous relations had only reminded him how much he loves his girlfriend and would never want to do anything to hurt her or betray her.
So basically I was nothing, am nothing and will always be nothing to him.
What an ass! How dare he string me along and send out false messages to me! All this time I've been lusting after him and wondering 'what ifs' he's actually been on a completely different wavelength daydreaming about his beloved girlfriend.
Well to be honest I've been a bit of a dick. My boyf has apparently been reading this although it doesn't seem it, he doesn't ask about the content. I really love the boyf and he's an absolute doll. But I need drama in my life! Passion, love, anger, romance, frustration, a theme tune!
At least now I have closure.
When I asked him if he felt anything for me he said he didn't and in fact our previous relations had only reminded him how much he loves his girlfriend and would never want to do anything to hurt her or betray her.
So basically I was nothing, am nothing and will always be nothing to him.
What an ass! How dare he string me along and send out false messages to me! All this time I've been lusting after him and wondering 'what ifs' he's actually been on a completely different wavelength daydreaming about his beloved girlfriend.
Well to be honest I've been a bit of a dick. My boyf has apparently been reading this although it doesn't seem it, he doesn't ask about the content. I really love the boyf and he's an absolute doll. But I need drama in my life! Passion, love, anger, romance, frustration, a theme tune!
At least now I have closure.
Wednesday, 2 December 2009
Re: Books
I myself am an avid reader and always have been. When I was a kid I loved reading about monty the dog who wore glasses, (Met the author, got it signed!), and then I moved on to Harry Potter and then Series of Unfortunate Events, Roman Mysteries, Inkheart and of course most of Jaqueline Wilson's work.
Now, being a little older my tastes have changed and these are a few of my favourite books and authors.
Torey Hayden/ Jodi Picoult
Both of these authors write similarly and My Sister's Keeper is really similar to most of Torey Hayden's books. She writes about childen with issues, sometimes psychological. There are some real cute stories of kids who change completely from being locked in silence to opening up and experiencing the world. Tug on your heart strings kind of stuff.
The Thorn Birds
This book is beauty itself. The story starts when Meggie, living in the rolling hills of Ireland is three years old. With many brothers and a rather emotionless mother, her live is pretty average. However her rich aunt living in Australia gets lonely and invites her and the family to come and live on a massive peice of land called Drogheda. On arrival, the aunt's good friend, Ralph de Bricassart greets them. The book is over Meggies whole life and part of her childrens. Growing up you see her changing through many points of view. Her own, her fathers, the priests. It's written from different points of view. Pure gorgeousness. Such a classic.
Mandasue Heller
OH MY GOD I love this woman. She writes great thrillers that you won't catch on to until that last page where you go OH MY GOD! And sometimes you have to read them twice to really understand all those little hints. My mum says she can figure them out but I can't and I love them. I've read, the club, forget me not, tainted lives (Best) and the front. Awesome.
The Wish House
This book is actually a little young for me and a bit too short for my liking. It was another one you can totally see the subtle changes throughout the book. It's about Richard who has a very boring life but an avid imagination. He goes on holiday caravaning and there is a nice forest and one house which seems to whisper "wish" in the wind. He finds out a family have moved there and becomes very involved in their lives and see what's behind their exotic exterior is alot darker than first thought. Also it's a cute love story.
Can't be bothered thinking about other books, but those are really really really good. Read em!
Now, being a little older my tastes have changed and these are a few of my favourite books and authors.
Torey Hayden/ Jodi Picoult
Both of these authors write similarly and My Sister's Keeper is really similar to most of Torey Hayden's books. She writes about childen with issues, sometimes psychological. There are some real cute stories of kids who change completely from being locked in silence to opening up and experiencing the world. Tug on your heart strings kind of stuff.
The Thorn Birds
This book is beauty itself. The story starts when Meggie, living in the rolling hills of Ireland is three years old. With many brothers and a rather emotionless mother, her live is pretty average. However her rich aunt living in Australia gets lonely and invites her and the family to come and live on a massive peice of land called Drogheda. On arrival, the aunt's good friend, Ralph de Bricassart greets them. The book is over Meggies whole life and part of her childrens. Growing up you see her changing through many points of view. Her own, her fathers, the priests. It's written from different points of view. Pure gorgeousness. Such a classic.
Mandasue Heller
OH MY GOD I love this woman. She writes great thrillers that you won't catch on to until that last page where you go OH MY GOD! And sometimes you have to read them twice to really understand all those little hints. My mum says she can figure them out but I can't and I love them. I've read, the club, forget me not, tainted lives (Best) and the front. Awesome.
The Wish House
This book is actually a little young for me and a bit too short for my liking. It was another one you can totally see the subtle changes throughout the book. It's about Richard who has a very boring life but an avid imagination. He goes on holiday caravaning and there is a nice forest and one house which seems to whisper "wish" in the wind. He finds out a family have moved there and becomes very involved in their lives and see what's behind their exotic exterior is alot darker than first thought. Also it's a cute love story.
Can't be bothered thinking about other books, but those are really really really good. Read em!
Tuesday, 1 December 2009
Knowing Yourself
Everyone makes a huge deal about 'finding yourself' and I think that's a little inaccurate. Everyone is in touch with themselves, you are yourself after all however I think you need a bit more interaction with your mind and soul that the everyday life.
And so, I was inspired by another blogger who seems a bit lost to write about ways I bring about peace with myself and general happiness and wellbeing. These tips are literally just tips and might seem crazy or just not work but bare with me.
1. Focus on a small and fiddly task.
This can be something like a jigsaw or fixing that necklace that snapped all those days ago. Sewing or something may be more suited to you. Usually something productive is better as you get that sense of achievement at the end. Personally, I paint my nails. French manicures are so fiddly they allow my brain to block all those looming problems that seem to swamp you and pull your mind together to focus on something you WANT to do.
2. Lie down.
Not on a bed. Bed's are for sleeping and you'll only get that sense of frustration that comes with trying to fall asleep when you aren't sleepy or not being allowed to fall asleep. Lie on the floor and just relax. Flop down, no need to be neat with how you lie. Lieing down uses no muscles so only your brain has to be active. This will take away all distractions and let you focus on those niggling problems and give you some time to try and think of solutions.
3. Light a candle.
Fire is incredibly calming for me. I've had some bad experience to do with burning and self-harming and fire has always been a mystery to me. Looks almost fluid, beautiful. Scented candles also make your room smell nice and can have a real 'sigh' effect on you. Where you just breathe in and sigh, that's a good effect.
4. List things.
To-do lists are a little bit doom and gloom, especially if you have to turn the page or go into double numbers. Try writing different things like what you have done or things you would like to encorporate into your days to help with wellbeing. My newest one is situps every night and writing in my diary before falling asleep. And if you are feeling brave write down things you have to do, but also when you are going to do them, setting achievable goals and prioritising life.
5. Listen to some new music.
When I say listen to music I mean JUST listen. Don't sing along, no msning or facebooking while listening. Combined with lieing on the floor this can be so reviving. Especially if you find a song which had a really nice build up to energy. Personally Nerina Pallot (Yes she is on spotify) has transformed my depressed moments. Sophia a fire, I'm burning I'm burning...Lalala...<3
6. Preen.
Personal grooming can sometimes be pushed to the back of your mind when the world takes over. Take care of yourself and it will go further than the flesh. My room is a haven for moisturisers, face masks, hair masks, tweezers, eyelash curlers, foot scrubs and all sorts! A this isn't just for girls. Guys, a good long shower with a good lynx shower gel and a careful shave should make yourself feel better I'm sure. :)
7. Cut yourself off from the world.
In serious cases where I feel like I've completely lost where I'm going I will have one day where I don't feel attached to anything. People pass me by and I'm in my head, playing music to myself and doing very little with the day. Don't watch tv, especially the news, don't listen to the radio. Only listen to music you know won't remind you of things. Read a book, they are great for loosing yourself. Dim the lighting and take heed of all the things above.
8. Take Vitamins.
This seems like a really useless thing to say. Vitamins may not bring about a noticeable change in your mood but that subtle way that you know you are bettering yourself will make you feel more healthy and vibrant. It's basically a placebo effect but there is no need to dismiss it because of that.
So there, my little ways to get back in touch with the inner you. I read in a magazine once that playing with your toes makes you feel good, but frankly I'll just take their word for that.
Ciao.
And so, I was inspired by another blogger who seems a bit lost to write about ways I bring about peace with myself and general happiness and wellbeing. These tips are literally just tips and might seem crazy or just not work but bare with me.
1. Focus on a small and fiddly task.
This can be something like a jigsaw or fixing that necklace that snapped all those days ago. Sewing or something may be more suited to you. Usually something productive is better as you get that sense of achievement at the end. Personally, I paint my nails. French manicures are so fiddly they allow my brain to block all those looming problems that seem to swamp you and pull your mind together to focus on something you WANT to do.
2. Lie down.
Not on a bed. Bed's are for sleeping and you'll only get that sense of frustration that comes with trying to fall asleep when you aren't sleepy or not being allowed to fall asleep. Lie on the floor and just relax. Flop down, no need to be neat with how you lie. Lieing down uses no muscles so only your brain has to be active. This will take away all distractions and let you focus on those niggling problems and give you some time to try and think of solutions.
3. Light a candle.
Fire is incredibly calming for me. I've had some bad experience to do with burning and self-harming and fire has always been a mystery to me. Looks almost fluid, beautiful. Scented candles also make your room smell nice and can have a real 'sigh' effect on you. Where you just breathe in and sigh, that's a good effect.
4. List things.
To-do lists are a little bit doom and gloom, especially if you have to turn the page or go into double numbers. Try writing different things like what you have done or things you would like to encorporate into your days to help with wellbeing. My newest one is situps every night and writing in my diary before falling asleep. And if you are feeling brave write down things you have to do, but also when you are going to do them, setting achievable goals and prioritising life.
5. Listen to some new music.
When I say listen to music I mean JUST listen. Don't sing along, no msning or facebooking while listening. Combined with lieing on the floor this can be so reviving. Especially if you find a song which had a really nice build up to energy. Personally Nerina Pallot (Yes she is on spotify) has transformed my depressed moments. Sophia a fire, I'm burning I'm burning...Lalala...<3
6. Preen.
Personal grooming can sometimes be pushed to the back of your mind when the world takes over. Take care of yourself and it will go further than the flesh. My room is a haven for moisturisers, face masks, hair masks, tweezers, eyelash curlers, foot scrubs and all sorts! A this isn't just for girls. Guys, a good long shower with a good lynx shower gel and a careful shave should make yourself feel better I'm sure. :)
7. Cut yourself off from the world.
In serious cases where I feel like I've completely lost where I'm going I will have one day where I don't feel attached to anything. People pass me by and I'm in my head, playing music to myself and doing very little with the day. Don't watch tv, especially the news, don't listen to the radio. Only listen to music you know won't remind you of things. Read a book, they are great for loosing yourself. Dim the lighting and take heed of all the things above.
8. Take Vitamins.
This seems like a really useless thing to say. Vitamins may not bring about a noticeable change in your mood but that subtle way that you know you are bettering yourself will make you feel more healthy and vibrant. It's basically a placebo effect but there is no need to dismiss it because of that.
So there, my little ways to get back in touch with the inner you. I read in a magazine once that playing with your toes makes you feel good, but frankly I'll just take their word for that.
Ciao.
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