My life right now is a total mixed bag. It's like a pack of revels. Mostly crappy ones (I hate revels).
THE GREATS
Boyfriend is awesome. Friends are awesome, if depressed. My blog is awesome, singular 'cause I ran out of ideas for the other one a long time ago and people judge me and get grossed out by it, great - not. Sorry, I'm moving on to bad already.
THE SHITS
Friends are depressed and I feel helpless, no matter how many minutes or little gestures I dedicate to them to make them happy I still feel upset as they suffer, damn sympathy! I feel like a bad person for shoving Him away in order to revise or spend time with needing mates. Also I get annoyed when people tell me that I am only ever one of two, I am not a sock - I can stand alone. I'm angry at a certain obvious someone for still be alive, happy and rubbing his success at living in a lie right in my face. I am angry that people don't care about this, but then get too touched and upset when they do try and care- to talk about it would be to admit my failure and stupidity. I'm nervous to shit about exams, literally they are scaring me more every waking second. Not to mention this illness makes it hard to concentrate, I cannot breathe, I cannot swallow, I cannot think in straight lines - how am I meant to fly through exams when my brain can't get air!?
Cannot write any more for this blog or I will cry after realise how little happiness there is present right now.
Becca, you need to calm down. Things arent as bad as they seem. Ofc i dont know the whole situation, but id guess people are depressed because of exams. And DONT WORRY ABOUT YOURS! You'v been revising like MAD, you put in so much work! You're going to do fine. Im sure Joe doesn't mind letting you get on with your revision - he wants you to do well. About the illness...bottle of calpol and a good weekend of rest and you'll be fine :)
ReplyDeleteAlso, i hate revels too.