One Mega Update

I do so apologise for the fact I haven't posted in more than a few days, a particularly long time in the world of Belle. I have actually been mainly talking to Beau, my spiritual guidance partner and great listener: also known as Diary.

{{Quick update of all not related to main topic: I went belly dancing for the second time, we are learning a routine and I feel empowered and sexy by it. My English coursework has taken up many of my frees and I have become crushed by the fact someone has already done it miles and miles better than me. I'm reading another N.G book and the beauty of it's words are so encapsulating it's like a blanket of sensuality. (Check that out.) Friends are fine, feeling closer to Cheshire more and more. Struggling to connect to the Wallflower.}}

Recently I have been obsessed by men. (Or are they boys, what a conundrum). There is The Handsome One who I always thought was the strong and silent type with a gorgeous jaw and handsomely hooded brows. Turns out he's more a cheeky and comical bloke (That doesn't fit either...) and the words devilishly handsome spring to mind. He's become a key player in my eye-candy-cupboard. If I see him, I usually smile and it's pleasing me that nowadays I get one back.

Then there is the New Crush. Now New Crush has actually been mentioned heavily before in my entries but I can't use his other name/initials. Takes out all the fun. He gives, or rather gave, me lots of attention and was very sweet and gorgeously cuddly. When my boyfriend was away with a chest infection (Not man-flu or swine-flu) he was the one who was my substitute.
However.
He has then crushed my hopes and aspirations of him falling madly in love with me and begging for my love, only for me to politely decline and float away all-fairy-like with a halo of sunshine... Yes, crushed all that purely by one mean flippant comment. He has a mean streak and I do not like it. It has put me off.

Then there is the Boyfriend. As he was off for a total week I got a feel for what it would be like if he wasn't featured in my life. If he didn't exist. I quite liked it. I could hang out with my friends and not have to wait for someone who is running late at the end of the day, I could choose whoever I wanted to sit with at lunch without any fear of leaving people out, I could flirt like mad with anyone and nobody could stop me.
However. (Ha, again.)
I missed having someone to help me find my bus so I don't look crazy walking towards a bus only to realise it's not mine. (Damn mild shortsightedness). I missed someone waiting at my locker after I've just taught wild year nines to calm me down. I missed having someone looked agast every morning at how lovely I looked.

My life is full of contradictions and inconsistencies at the minute but it is a touch more interesting than the norm, so I don't mind.
:D