My Day - Episode Nineteen

I was going to do a general rant but to be honest most of the stuff that I'm going to rant about happened today, so it's a half My Day blog.

Okay so this morning we had a talk to round out about yesterday and the pressure they are putting on us to get things sorted about a year earlier is intense, I don't do well under pressure. Like I break down and cry. (Crying features a lot today by the way.)

Then in English I was close to tears because I was really lagging behind and I feel that in the exam I just won't be able to apply the time limits, I write too much. So when Miss was like "It's alright Becca, you'll get better." I was LITERALLY biting the inside of my cheek so hard so I wouldn't start tearing up.

In IEC today I realised how much I really hate year nines, and also how much I like teaching people who are willing to learn. One guy just never puts pen to paper although he is perfectly capable of doing it and it infuriates me as he is right, I don't have any authority to make him do anything. But then another girl who used to never work now calls me over and I help her, and she finishes the work early and all to a higher level with just me giving the odd prompt.

Then in the second IEC I was teaching, once again year nines, I just felt so useless. All of these kids were milling round me and I felt like a rock in a river, completely out of place and resisting the flow. So I went up to the teacher I was working with, faked a headache and teared up a little and he let me leave. So I ran away in hopes I could find solace in the arms of Him but of course this was one day that he was in there for the whole time and I ended up sitting, alone, upset and completely not doing anything of use. I know it wasn't his fault but I stll get upset at the fact he wasn't there when I needed him. :(

Oh not to mention that I really have lost all leadership within the Krewe. Somebody has completely taken my place, organising events left right and center. Even when I walk away, they don't follow me ONE CORRIDOR to put my lunchthing away. And I'm betting it was because They didn't move. I even had to squeeze through Him and Snake(Totally changing his name sometime.)

Then on the way home I almost got ran over by an old lady on a bike and I got sand in my eye and walked straight into a lamppost. I bumped my head on the counter in the garage and REALLY hurt myself. Then my sister kept making me feel really nervous about me Uni choices although she is only trying to keep me cautious.

So today was a shit day.

P.s The only positive thing today was my sister falling down the decking stairs which was HILARIOUS. I did my real laugh for AGES and realised how long it has been since I have actually laughed that real-ly....which then depressed me.

An Even More Mega Update

Number one big news - Well I guess I should explain my last post. I made my mind up to break up with the boyfriend. I would rather hurt him now that leave it for another year and hurt him then. I had fallen out of love with him quite simply and needed a heck of a lot of time and room to grow alone. No more reasoning I suppose. I was bored to put it simply. A couple of months ago I had this problem and we attempted to fix it but one shitty picnic later we slipped back into an easy routine that I wasn't happy with so the next time I felt even stronger about leaving and decided there was no other choice. Sorry, it was done purely for my own benefit and it's going to be tough for everyone to adjust, including me.

Number two big news- I have a netbook! It's an Acer Aspire One in blue, for all you techy nerds. It actually arrived yesterday when I was at school but we had internet problems meaning that I could actually get it to work. Luckily loving sister took pity on me and helped me work it out. Turns out I was a dumbass and got one number wrong and it fucked the whole thing in the pooper. Nice.

Number three big news - I may be single but I am technically on a break from relationships until further notice. I want freedom to flirt with who I like, insult who I like and do whatever the fuck I like and not have a 'better half' breathing down my neck about it.

Number four big news - I have also started a new diary! Wooo! This one is called Candy in the hope it will be make my life sweeter. It's got cupcakes on the front. It's the cutest. New diary new phase of life, this one being the first lone one in almost four years, woo.

No more big news to tell, apart from I'm okay for all you people who care.

Pardon?

This is beginning to get rather boring: I feel as if I cannot hear. The hearing in my right ear has degenerated quite badly,  reminiscent of my childhood where I was shoved in a booth with headphones to listen to bleeps and press buttons until they realised (like I had been saying for days) that I couldn't hear that well.

I have finally managed to get Mums, Sisters and my own arse in gear in booking things. I have finally booked an opticians appointment AND another appointment to go see the doctor, woo....go me.

Other than that, an unhealthy fixation on my image/weight/figure is taking hold, I can feel it's metaphorical nails digging into my shoulders and ingraining itself in my otherwise engaged brain. Bridget Jones Diaries do not help as she is obsessive over food and I will most likely absorb this character trait.
Also my rather psychologically unsound cousin has stopped eating and a young boy at my bustop has started a diet and keep telling me of his weightloss which I am jelous of. I'll be counting calories next. (1575 but hey, who cares right?)

Gaining confidence in my teaching. I'm leading a review 5 minute thing in biology and in the english class I teach I will be leading small activities with a section of a class with L.S.

So anyways life goes on, crazy as it is.

Ciao.

Hello?

First of all. Who is actually reading these? Much appreciated if you could comment so I can actually get a look see on who I'm talking to.

Continuing on with more pressing matters, my weekend. Awesome! Basically I thought I would be staying at my mums this weekend and hugging my computer as it's finally back to life. No idea how much I missed it, BUT I SURVIVED! Ha. So I thought I'd be here, tapping away, maybe go to this gorgeous shop Desigual which is like a semi-designer shop with loads of pathwork, crazy colours and prints.

Buutt. Ended up I went to me dad's for the weekend. Got some chinese noodles for dinner/breakfast. Yummers. Then popped over to the boyf's where we played Halo: ODST. For a girl who doesn't actually own an Xbox360 I think I played pretty well, kept up almost on par with the boyf. Not with P.D (P.Diddy, Ha!) as he is mega.
Then we watched Pulp Fiction, good movie, didn't live up to the hype to be honest. And we had an Austin Powersathon where we watched all three movies over the course of the night and morning. Stayed in bed snuggling and being warm until about one in the afternoon.

I played with Hama beads, for those of you who don't know it's like little beads you make patterns out of on a spikey board and iron and they melt and stick together. Never got to play with them as a kid and so happy I finally got a go. I made a cute love heart and mine and boy's names. Yes, I'm sappy and sad.

Had to walk back to my dads in the pouring rain with my overnight bag and stuff I bought from primark and towing my bike. Boyf tried to shelter me with an umbrella but my right arm was totally out and I was soaked to the skin. Not. Happy.

Then came back to mums and me and Sissy have ordered a nice Dominoes pizza with cheesy garlic bread, chicken strippers and cookies. Oh yes. Now I am happy.

How horrid

Just found out that my sister has read my diaries a few times. Realllyyyy annoying. She had good intentions but a girl does need her privacy you know.
She'd better not read my new one, it's a bit explicit! XD