I'm going to start this chain, I challenge thee....challenger! To find lyrics from songs that are currently appropriate to your life, or situations of said life!
Here is mine....
"I think, you're fine... You really blow my mind! Maybe, someday you and me could run away...." - Hey Juliet - LMNT
"I won't tell you that I love you, kiss or hug you 'cause I'm bluffin' with my muffin'." Poker face - Lady Gaga
"You got a fast car... I want a ticket to anywhere. Maybe we can make a deal, maybe together we could get somewhere..." Fast Car - Kristian Leontiou
"I don't give a damn about my reputation. Never been afraid of any deviation!...Hello Boys!" Bad Reputation - Joan Jetts and the Blackhearts
Sunday, 28 February 2010
Saturday, 27 February 2010
My Day - Episode Fourteen
Well we shall go from the actual beginning of 27th of Feb. At midnight I was still on msn talking to P.Diddy and Fungi. My latest night ever, I didn't get to sleep until gone One! That's the latest night I've had whilst at home in about half a year, I really need to be more interesting...
So then this morning I was woken at Nine O'clock by a wonderful text from Him. He just dropped me a note to say that he was thinking about me, didn't get much sleep and could barely wait to see me next. So that was the nicest wake up call.
I had a bit of an odd breakfast time. Whilst continually texting Him I got some pizza from last nights dinner, warmed it up for breakfast. (Yes, I'm a tramp and really weird for eating dinner foods at brekky, we have gathered this.) And then I popped open a coke and took a sip, ready to sit down. Then my head began to spin, I had a hard feeling down my throat like I had swallowed a massive pill or something and my vision was blacking out. Immediately I got down on the floor and half lay down to make sure I didn't faint. My vision completely went and my head was spinning but I stayed conscious thank god. So then I got a drink of water and had to sit and recover for a while. Sheba gave me the biggest lick ever across my face, yuck.
Oh! I didn't mention. I'm staying at my Dads house and his girlfriend's dog is here as well recovering from an operation to remove a lump. Sheeba has to wear one of those cones so she doesn't lick her wounds and getting it off this morning was a right calamity! She's a big dog so she can't turn in the hallway without scraping the cone along the wall and wouldn't stay still to get this stupid thing off. That was a laugh.
I manged to get my breakfast in the end. Then I was washed, dressed and off to head for the town!
Walking there I realised how much I love my home town, it's not pretty, it's not horrific but I love walking the familiar streets and remembering things from my childhood. Then when I got there Stag (the ex) was there with Curltop. Chatted to them and then Fungi, Cheshire, The Thin One arrived shortly followed by Goldylocks. P. diddy was mega late. We wandered around town, shopped a bit, got some foods, went to Stags house and hung out. Me and Cheshire got a bit deep, more troubles on the western front.
So yeah, everything went well. Walked home in the bollock-freezing cold.Then just came on here. So that was my day, enjoy yours!
So then this morning I was woken at Nine O'clock by a wonderful text from Him. He just dropped me a note to say that he was thinking about me, didn't get much sleep and could barely wait to see me next. So that was the nicest wake up call.
I had a bit of an odd breakfast time. Whilst continually texting Him I got some pizza from last nights dinner, warmed it up for breakfast. (Yes, I'm a tramp and really weird for eating dinner foods at brekky, we have gathered this.) And then I popped open a coke and took a sip, ready to sit down. Then my head began to spin, I had a hard feeling down my throat like I had swallowed a massive pill or something and my vision was blacking out. Immediately I got down on the floor and half lay down to make sure I didn't faint. My vision completely went and my head was spinning but I stayed conscious thank god. So then I got a drink of water and had to sit and recover for a while. Sheba gave me the biggest lick ever across my face, yuck.
Oh! I didn't mention. I'm staying at my Dads house and his girlfriend's dog is here as well recovering from an operation to remove a lump. Sheeba has to wear one of those cones so she doesn't lick her wounds and getting it off this morning was a right calamity! She's a big dog so she can't turn in the hallway without scraping the cone along the wall and wouldn't stay still to get this stupid thing off. That was a laugh.
I manged to get my breakfast in the end. Then I was washed, dressed and off to head for the town!
Walking there I realised how much I love my home town, it's not pretty, it's not horrific but I love walking the familiar streets and remembering things from my childhood. Then when I got there Stag (the ex) was there with Curltop. Chatted to them and then Fungi, Cheshire, The Thin One arrived shortly followed by Goldylocks. P. diddy was mega late. We wandered around town, shopped a bit, got some foods, went to Stags house and hung out. Me and Cheshire got a bit deep, more troubles on the western front.
So yeah, everything went well. Walked home in the bollock-freezing cold.Then just came on here. So that was my day, enjoy yours!
My Day - Episode Thirteen
I haven't done one of these in a while, should be interesting....hopefully.
Last night I went to my lovely friends Baptism, or her dunking as I have come to fondly recall it. It was amazing, she was so happy and I was totally honoured that I could be there for her and to experience it - just amazing. So I got to bed at around eleven and this totally broke my usual routine of getting ready for bed, shower and doing my hair.
So I woke up, in a daze at twenty past six in the fucking morning. Not just the morning, the FUCKING MORNING! Stumbled to the shower and had to avoid wetting my hair because I didn't have enough time for a wash and blow dry and brush and straighten.... meh. So then I was like totally wacked out of routine and that like completely put me off for the rest of the morning. Not to mention Pants totally getting in my face. I'm really not loving Pants at the minute, he's pissing me off in general.
So yeah the bus was uneventful. No texts from Him, that bummed me out. I was going by something Cheshire has said, that she always finds herself texting first. Being pretty much the same person as me, I wanted to see what would happen if I didn't text first. Let me answer that for you.
Nothing. He didn't text of his own accord. I sent the first text of the days cause I was getting really frustrated with the silence and generally I just am obsessed with him. Trying to folllow him to every lesson, every excuse to be close to him, every opportunity we get to be alone. (Which is none, the school is like so packed!)
So yeah, philosophy was sort of interesting, psychology we watched a film (so sad, on the case study of Genie, look it up.) English we did jack shit, Structured study we did jack shit and biology we marked a test (B) and then did.....jack shit.
Then I popped over to my dads, came on msn, watched a movie and had some pizza. All round a very good day.
Last night I went to my lovely friends Baptism, or her dunking as I have come to fondly recall it. It was amazing, she was so happy and I was totally honoured that I could be there for her and to experience it - just amazing. So I got to bed at around eleven and this totally broke my usual routine of getting ready for bed, shower and doing my hair.
So I woke up, in a daze at twenty past six in the fucking morning. Not just the morning, the FUCKING MORNING! Stumbled to the shower and had to avoid wetting my hair because I didn't have enough time for a wash and blow dry and brush and straighten.... meh. So then I was like totally wacked out of routine and that like completely put me off for the rest of the morning. Not to mention Pants totally getting in my face. I'm really not loving Pants at the minute, he's pissing me off in general.
So yeah the bus was uneventful. No texts from Him, that bummed me out. I was going by something Cheshire has said, that she always finds herself texting first. Being pretty much the same person as me, I wanted to see what would happen if I didn't text first. Let me answer that for you.
Nothing. He didn't text of his own accord. I sent the first text of the days cause I was getting really frustrated with the silence and generally I just am obsessed with him. Trying to folllow him to every lesson, every excuse to be close to him, every opportunity we get to be alone. (Which is none, the school is like so packed!)
So yeah, philosophy was sort of interesting, psychology we watched a film (so sad, on the case study of Genie, look it up.) English we did jack shit, Structured study we did jack shit and biology we marked a test (B) and then did.....jack shit.
Then I popped over to my dads, came on msn, watched a movie and had some pizza. All round a very good day.
Wednesday, 24 February 2010
Blossoming
Well, everything is blossoming like a wonderful flower. My life has gone from utmost misery- crying every single day to walking around with a goofy smile on my face. Mind you I guess all of my smiles are goofy.
And my phone has been going crazy recently.
I love it.
Although I'm afraid I can't post much cause this one thing has taken over my life and I can't really talk about it on here, it's private matters.
And my phone has been going crazy recently.
I love it.
Although I'm afraid I can't post much cause this one thing has taken over my life and I can't really talk about it on here, it's private matters.
Tuesday, 23 February 2010
Happiness
I'm happy right now. For private reasons, but still effing happy. Just letting you all know.
Saturday, 20 February 2010
Gooood Moorrning!
Hello you lovely people, it's 10:05 and the weather is mostly miserable. Snow has coating the ground all over leaving me with a sense of dread of having to wait for the bus to town. But it is all for a good cause! I am going over to Cheshires house today to sleep over.
It's all a bit weird really. The Ex is going to be there and there is another drama unfolding within the bowels of the Krewe. Should be a laugh. I find it a bit random that we've all been invited to sleep over. The only two times we actually all slept together (oii, innocent way you dirty buggars) was because once they were two drunk to leave and the other because it was new years. So yeah we're not really used to the company of that many people at night. I'm not looking forward to people seeing me sleep, I have odd habits.
I have been told by some lovely friend that one, I snore sometimes when I sleep. That's embarassing enough in its self but no, it doesn't end there. From a report from cousins and sister I may also talk. Once I said "I'm Sonya and I'm pregnant. (One moment, being kicked out of the living room.) ((Haha I managed to stay)) And the last embarassing thing I do in my sleep is twitch, sometimes quite violently. Like a dog will dream about running and move it's legs I dream about random things and move around as well. I've headbutted a wall before, kicked my friend in the face, elbowed, kicked, punched and all sorts the Ex. It's very dangerous to be next to me while I'm unconscious.
So don't say I didn't warn you!
It's all a bit weird really. The Ex is going to be there and there is another drama unfolding within the bowels of the Krewe. Should be a laugh. I find it a bit random that we've all been invited to sleep over. The only two times we actually all slept together (oii, innocent way you dirty buggars) was because once they were two drunk to leave and the other because it was new years. So yeah we're not really used to the company of that many people at night. I'm not looking forward to people seeing me sleep, I have odd habits.
I have been told by some lovely friend that one, I snore sometimes when I sleep. That's embarassing enough in its self but no, it doesn't end there. From a report from cousins and sister I may also talk. Once I said "I'm Sonya and I'm pregnant. (One moment, being kicked out of the living room.) ((Haha I managed to stay)) And the last embarassing thing I do in my sleep is twitch, sometimes quite violently. Like a dog will dream about running and move it's legs I dream about random things and move around as well. I've headbutted a wall before, kicked my friend in the face, elbowed, kicked, punched and all sorts the Ex. It's very dangerous to be next to me while I'm unconscious.
So don't say I didn't warn you!
Friday, 19 February 2010
Wacky Dream 1
I had such an awesome dream when I was snoozing this morning! Snow day and all so I went back to bed and didn't quite get back to sleep.
I was a man, called Daniel actually. Dan to my friends. By friends I meant other people who also had wings, oh, didn't I mention? I have very large wings and can glide very easily, it makes climbing very easy. We're not meant to fly because people will see us. There are these government people who want to kill us, hunt us like rabid dogs that are on the loose. We have to collect little red pyramid power things because apparently the government can use them in experiments to try and make these massive weapons and experiment on people. There is a girl who I like whose wings don't work and she's kind of emotional, gets embarassed easily. She's sweet, watches the base while I go out practicing flying. I am trying to teach this other guy to fly, I think he's called Oliver. He's older than me but isn't a very good flyer so I am teaching him how to use glide jumping to climb and then glide really close back down this huge climbing frame thing that's like hundreds of feet tall. So I'm climbing away but I keep going and going, too high for Oliver who is trying to keep up. Eventually I reach the top of the frame so I just let loose and fly, higher and higher. But Oliver can't take it, he's tired.
He passes out, falling off the frame. I don't hear him, still flying further upwards. Eventually I hear the girls yell of fear as Oliver is falling faster and faster. I spin and begin to dive really fast towards him. I catch up to him and scoop him up but this isn't much I can do to stop. My wings are stuck to my sides and if open then I will be ripped apart from them. So I angle myself so I hit first...
Then I woke up cause I was oversleeping.
Ciao!
I was a man, called Daniel actually. Dan to my friends. By friends I meant other people who also had wings, oh, didn't I mention? I have very large wings and can glide very easily, it makes climbing very easy. We're not meant to fly because people will see us. There are these government people who want to kill us, hunt us like rabid dogs that are on the loose. We have to collect little red pyramid power things because apparently the government can use them in experiments to try and make these massive weapons and experiment on people. There is a girl who I like whose wings don't work and she's kind of emotional, gets embarassed easily. She's sweet, watches the base while I go out practicing flying. I am trying to teach this other guy to fly, I think he's called Oliver. He's older than me but isn't a very good flyer so I am teaching him how to use glide jumping to climb and then glide really close back down this huge climbing frame thing that's like hundreds of feet tall. So I'm climbing away but I keep going and going, too high for Oliver who is trying to keep up. Eventually I reach the top of the frame so I just let loose and fly, higher and higher. But Oliver can't take it, he's tired.
He passes out, falling off the frame. I don't hear him, still flying further upwards. Eventually I hear the girls yell of fear as Oliver is falling faster and faster. I spin and begin to dive really fast towards him. I catch up to him and scoop him up but this isn't much I can do to stop. My wings are stuck to my sides and if open then I will be ripped apart from them. So I angle myself so I hit first...
Then I woke up cause I was oversleeping.
Ciao!
Scars
The picture on the right is of my left hand. As you might notice there is a very fetching cross in red almost in the middle. I know, it's slightly off centre, bugs the hell out of me.
I got it when I was fourteen, maybe fifteen, my memory is shite to say the least. Funny story really.
I was dating a guy, it was about 8 months into our relationship, although admittedly we did take a break at the three month mark. We were having problems, I was obsessed with trying to make him happy but making him happy would make me miserable and then he wouldn't even give me credit and would accuse me of not loving him. It was a vicious circle resulting in my unhappiness, many arguments and eventually self harm.
We were arguing once again over msn this time, we always spoke with the webcams on. I had candles on to try and calm me. I had a wooden chopstick and was messing about with the wax as I was talking to him. We were arguing about something stupid again and he was convinced I didn't care about him. I got into a bit of a wacky state and set the wooden chopstick on fire and started being completely psycho saying "I'm doing this to prove I care about you!" and I blew out the flame but left it red hot and press it against the back of my hand, bang in the middle. He went silent and I just carried on until I have five red holes in my hand and he was in tears as he thought it was his fault. Sort of was. Maybe it was just my crazy depression, my diary entries are not exactly cheery from that time.
My mum found out about it when we were doing an exercise dvd and she wasn't best pleased but there wasn't much she could do.
Me and that boyfriend broke up about a month later and my hand is merely a cluster of kind of cool looking scars. Don't worry, I'm not crazy depressive anymore.
An Even More Mega Update
Number one big news - Well I guess I should explain my last post. I made my mind up to break up with the boyfriend. I would rather hurt him now that leave it for another year and hurt him then. I had fallen out of love with him quite simply and needed a heck of a lot of time and room to grow alone. No more reasoning I suppose. I was bored to put it simply. A couple of months ago I had this problem and we attempted to fix it but one shitty picnic later we slipped back into an easy routine that I wasn't happy with so the next time I felt even stronger about leaving and decided there was no other choice. Sorry, it was done purely for my own benefit and it's going to be tough for everyone to adjust, including me.
Number two big news- I have a netbook! It's an Acer Aspire One in blue, for all you techy nerds. It actually arrived yesterday when I was at school but we had internet problems meaning that I could actually get it to work. Luckily loving sister took pity on me and helped me work it out. Turns out I was a dumbass and got one number wrong and it fucked the whole thing in the pooper. Nice.
Number three big news - I may be single but I am technically on a break from relationships until further notice. I want freedom to flirt with who I like, insult who I like and do whatever the fuck I like and not have a 'better half' breathing down my neck about it.
Number four big news - I have also started a new diary! Wooo! This one is called Candy in the hope it will be make my life sweeter. It's got cupcakes on the front. It's the cutest. New diary new phase of life, this one being the first lone one in almost four years, woo.
No more big news to tell, apart from I'm okay for all you people who care.
Number two big news- I have a netbook! It's an Acer Aspire One in blue, for all you techy nerds. It actually arrived yesterday when I was at school but we had internet problems meaning that I could actually get it to work. Luckily loving sister took pity on me and helped me work it out. Turns out I was a dumbass and got one number wrong and it fucked the whole thing in the pooper. Nice.
Number three big news - I may be single but I am technically on a break from relationships until further notice. I want freedom to flirt with who I like, insult who I like and do whatever the fuck I like and not have a 'better half' breathing down my neck about it.
Number four big news - I have also started a new diary! Wooo! This one is called Candy in the hope it will be make my life sweeter. It's got cupcakes on the front. It's the cutest. New diary new phase of life, this one being the first lone one in almost four years, woo.
No more big news to tell, apart from I'm okay for all you people who care.
Monday, 15 February 2010
The Finale
My mind is made up.
I've consulted the two bessy friends
I've consulted the family - mad as they might be
And I've decided to...
I've consulted the two bessy friends
I've consulted the family - mad as they might be
And I've decided to...
Sunday, 14 February 2010
My (Valentines) Day - Episode 12
Happy Valentines Day people!
Well I know that valentines day is today but it was yesterday that me and the boyfriend went out for dinner. I got all dressed up in the cutest little black silk dress with some awesome heels and we went out for an Indian. I love Indian! I had (and always have) Tandoori chicken for a starter then for main I get egg fried rice, cheese naan and chicken tikka. It was yummers!
The boyfriend was a little bit odd acting but I think he was trying to be all gentlemanly and have manners, something that doesn't come in the usual everyday bundle. Currently we are lying in his ever so comfy double bed eating haribo and pondering breakfast. I'm thinking some sort of bread, with some kind of egg and some sort of meat. Yum. I guess I'm going to be cooking.
Oh and I got three delicio smelling candles (currently burning one that smells like chocolate cake) and two single roses. (and another from the lovely people at the resturant).
And I bought a tiny suitcase yesterday too. That makes me so unbelievably happy.
Look forward to talking to you again, I'm gonna go and enjoy the rest of my V day. (That's valentines, not vampire.((although that would be pretty cool too. )) )
Well I know that valentines day is today but it was yesterday that me and the boyfriend went out for dinner. I got all dressed up in the cutest little black silk dress with some awesome heels and we went out for an Indian. I love Indian! I had (and always have) Tandoori chicken for a starter then for main I get egg fried rice, cheese naan and chicken tikka. It was yummers!
The boyfriend was a little bit odd acting but I think he was trying to be all gentlemanly and have manners, something that doesn't come in the usual everyday bundle. Currently we are lying in his ever so comfy double bed eating haribo and pondering breakfast. I'm thinking some sort of bread, with some kind of egg and some sort of meat. Yum. I guess I'm going to be cooking.
Oh and I got three delicio smelling candles (currently burning one that smells like chocolate cake) and two single roses. (and another from the lovely people at the resturant).
And I bought a tiny suitcase yesterday too. That makes me so unbelievably happy.
Look forward to talking to you again, I'm gonna go and enjoy the rest of my V day. (That's valentines, not vampire.((although that would be pretty cool too. )) )
Thursday, 11 February 2010
Bitching
There is a certain dilemma in my life that has come about many times in my life that has different courses of actions and it mostly isn't clear on which is best.
What do you do when someone bitches about your friend behind their back?
Do you:
a) Not say a word and just politely say you think they are wrong
b) Stick up for friend as if it were you being bitched about and proceed to report back to friend
c) Jack shit.
Now this has recently happened to a friend of mine. I took action B purely because if someone I was disillusioned to think was nice was talking about me behind my back, I would want to know.
I do not care if my friend confronts them and it all gets chased back to me. They should have known better not to bitch in front of their mate or just not to bitch Full Stop.
However speaking to another friend about this situation she said it might not have been the best thing to do as it could bring the victim down knowing that people think that and they could end up in a spiral of despair thinking no-one likes them. Now personally I know/stongly hope that this friend is stronger than that and they have even said that they will turn their insecurity into hatred for the Bitchers! Go Friend-whose-online-name-shall-not-be-mentioned.
So I thought I did the right thing anyways. Just something for you all to think about.
What do you do when someone bitches about your friend behind their back?
Do you:
a) Not say a word and just politely say you think they are wrong
b) Stick up for friend as if it were you being bitched about and proceed to report back to friend
c) Jack shit.
Now this has recently happened to a friend of mine. I took action B purely because if someone I was disillusioned to think was nice was talking about me behind my back, I would want to know.I do not care if my friend confronts them and it all gets chased back to me. They should have known better not to bitch in front of their mate or just not to bitch Full Stop.
However speaking to another friend about this situation she said it might not have been the best thing to do as it could bring the victim down knowing that people think that and they could end up in a spiral of despair thinking no-one likes them. Now personally I know/stongly hope that this friend is stronger than that and they have even said that they will turn their insecurity into hatred for the Bitchers! Go Friend-whose-online-name-shall-not-be-mentioned.
So I thought I did the right thing anyways. Just something for you all to think about.
Wednesday, 10 February 2010
My Day - Episode Eleven
Another day in the life of Belle- that is how today felt. Nothing amazing happened, I got on with quite a lot of work. I taught a little bit.
The only things that were different were last lesson and the bus.
LAST LESSON
The kids that I usually help out with are year nines (little buggars, cocky as hell, love em really) they had a special play thing in the Theatre all last lesson so I had a free! Deciding I couldn't be arsed to do work I decided to pay the Boyfriend a visit in his Young Enterprise thing. Basically they have to create a business. With the people involved it makes me say *Scoff* Good Luck!
So I went to see him, over half of the people who should have been combining their creative minds were actually doing laps (Surprise Surprise) so I decided to do it all myself. I brainstormed ideas for a cute little acrylic bunny that you could design the face and write messages on with a wipeable marker (Look forward to maybe seeing this developed). So I let out some creative genius and got to spend time with the lovely Boyf.
THE BUS
Oh what a calamity! Why is it when there is a medical emergency, everyone knows best and people who watch Scrubs suddenly know life saving first aid. Can I just say one thing?
Fuck. Off.
When someone is having a medical emergency they need ONE person there for emotional support (holding hand, patting shoulder going "there there") and ONE person there for medical support (or two if that's what the ambulance gives). They do not need the whole top deck of the bus leaning over to get a look at 'That girl what had a fit on da bus'. It's just rude.
Basically, a girl 'had a fit'. She was shaking pretty excessively and having trouble breathing. It could have been low or too high blood sugars, it could have been epilepsy or an asthma attack. I will not pretend to know just because I have watched House, I am wiser than that. (Thank God.)
She got taken away in the Ambulance, she's in safe hands (now) and I'm sure will be perfectly fine.
So that was my day. I'm now talking to The Handome One on facebook, brings me a smile.
The only things that were different were last lesson and the bus.
LAST LESSON
The kids that I usually help out with are year nines (little buggars, cocky as hell, love em really) they had a special play thing in the Theatre all last lesson so I had a free! Deciding I couldn't be arsed to do work I decided to pay the Boyfriend a visit in his Young Enterprise thing. Basically they have to create a business. With the people involved it makes me say *Scoff* Good Luck!
So I went to see him, over half of the people who should have been combining their creative minds were actually doing laps (Surprise Surprise) so I decided to do it all myself. I brainstormed ideas for a cute little acrylic bunny that you could design the face and write messages on with a wipeable marker (Look forward to maybe seeing this developed). So I let out some creative genius and got to spend time with the lovely Boyf.
THE BUS
Oh what a calamity! Why is it when there is a medical emergency, everyone knows best and people who watch Scrubs suddenly know life saving first aid. Can I just say one thing?
Fuck. Off.
When someone is having a medical emergency they need ONE person there for emotional support (holding hand, patting shoulder going "there there") and ONE person there for medical support (or two if that's what the ambulance gives). They do not need the whole top deck of the bus leaning over to get a look at 'That girl what had a fit on da bus'. It's just rude.
Basically, a girl 'had a fit'. She was shaking pretty excessively and having trouble breathing. It could have been low or too high blood sugars, it could have been epilepsy or an asthma attack. I will not pretend to know just because I have watched House, I am wiser than that. (Thank God.)
She got taken away in the Ambulance, she's in safe hands (now) and I'm sure will be perfectly fine.
So that was my day. I'm now talking to The Handome One on facebook, brings me a smile.
Tuesday, 9 February 2010
One Mega Update
I do so apologise for the fact I haven't posted in more than a few days, a particularly long time in the world of Belle. I have actually been mainly talking to Beau, my spiritual guidance partner and great listener: also known as Diary.
{{Quick update of all not related to main topic: I went belly dancing for the second time, we are learning a routine and I feel empowered and sexy by it. My English coursework has taken up many of my frees and I have become crushed by the fact someone has already done it miles and miles better than me. I'm reading another N.G book and the beauty of it's words are so encapsulating it's like a blanket of sensuality. (Check that out.) Friends are fine, feeling closer to Cheshire more and more. Struggling to connect to the Wallflower.}}
Recently I have been obsessed by men. (Or are they boys, what a conundrum). There is The Handsome One who I always thought was the strong and silent type with a gorgeous jaw and handsomely hooded brows. Turns out he's more a cheeky and comical bloke (That doesn't fit either...) and the words devilishly handsome spring to mind. He's become a key player in my eye-candy-cupboard. If I see him, I usually smile and it's pleasing me that nowadays I get one back.
Then there is the New Crush. Now New Crush has actually been mentioned heavily before in my entries but I can't use his other name/initials. Takes out all the fun. He gives, or rather gave, me lots of attention and was very sweet and gorgeously cuddly. When my boyfriend was away with a chest infection (Not man-flu or swine-flu) he was the one who was my substitute.
However.
He has then crushed my hopes and aspirations of him falling madly in love with me and begging for my love, only for me to politely decline and float away all-fairy-like with a halo of sunshine... Yes, crushed all that purely by one mean flippant comment. He has a mean streak and I do not like it. It has put me off.
Then there is the Boyfriend. As he was off for a total week I got a feel for what it would be like if he wasn't featured in my life. If he didn't exist. I quite liked it. I could hang out with my friends and not have to wait for someone who is running late at the end of the day, I could choose whoever I wanted to sit with at lunch without any fear of leaving people out, I could flirt like mad with anyone and nobody could stop me.
However. (Ha, again.)
I missed having someone to help me find my bus so I don't look crazy walking towards a bus only to realise it's not mine. (Damn mild shortsightedness). I missed someone waiting at my locker after I've just taught wild year nines to calm me down. I missed having someone looked agast every morning at how lovely I looked.
My life is full of contradictions and inconsistencies at the minute but it is a touch more interesting than the norm, so I don't mind.
:D
{{Quick update of all not related to main topic: I went belly dancing for the second time, we are learning a routine and I feel empowered and sexy by it. My English coursework has taken up many of my frees and I have become crushed by the fact someone has already done it miles and miles better than me. I'm reading another N.G book and the beauty of it's words are so encapsulating it's like a blanket of sensuality. (Check that out.) Friends are fine, feeling closer to Cheshire more and more. Struggling to connect to the Wallflower.}}
Recently I have been obsessed by men. (Or are they boys, what a conundrum). There is The Handsome One who I always thought was the strong and silent type with a gorgeous jaw and handsomely hooded brows. Turns out he's more a cheeky and comical bloke (That doesn't fit either...) and the words devilishly handsome spring to mind. He's become a key player in my eye-candy-cupboard. If I see him, I usually smile and it's pleasing me that nowadays I get one back.Then there is the New Crush. Now New Crush has actually been mentioned heavily before in my entries but I can't use his other name/initials. Takes out all the fun. He gives, or rather gave, me lots of attention and was very sweet and gorgeously cuddly. When my boyfriend was away with a chest infection (Not man-flu or swine-flu) he was the one who was my substitute.
However.
He has then crushed my hopes and aspirations of him falling madly in love with me and begging for my love, only for me to politely decline and float away all-fairy-like with a halo of sunshine... Yes, crushed all that purely by one mean flippant comment. He has a mean streak and I do not like it. It has put me off.
Then there is the Boyfriend. As he was off for a total week I got a feel for what it would be like if he wasn't featured in my life. If he didn't exist. I quite liked it. I could hang out with my friends and not have to wait for someone who is running late at the end of the day, I could choose whoever I wanted to sit with at lunch without any fear of leaving people out, I could flirt like mad with anyone and nobody could stop me.
However. (Ha, again.)
I missed having someone to help me find my bus so I don't look crazy walking towards a bus only to realise it's not mine. (Damn mild shortsightedness). I missed someone waiting at my locker after I've just taught wild year nines to calm me down. I missed having someone looked agast every morning at how lovely I looked.
My life is full of contradictions and inconsistencies at the minute but it is a touch more interesting than the norm, so I don't mind.
:D
Thursday, 4 February 2010
Friend in Need
I don't know what to say. I knew he was upset a lot of the time but I thought that I had helped him make it through the rain. I thought I had been more of an effect on his life to make him see how amazing he is just the way he is. I wish that he could see how foolish he is being, I have walked that path and hold the unnatractive scars to show it and that is all I have to show for it, no more happiness and no less emotional pain.
I'm sorry for not acting and being no help in a crisis. :(
I'm sorry for not acting and being no help in a crisis. :(
Tuesday, 2 February 2010
Animals
In the last post I mentioned that we assigned animals to people that we thought were most suitable. This might be a good bit of fun to decide people's animals! By the way I'm talking animals personality traits not in any way people look like these, if they do then it's just chance.
Previously Curltop will now be Llama
Llamas have curly fur, I think, so that will help me remember. I like llamas, but not when they spit. And this guy can spit some pretty nasty stuff but bless him he doesn't mean it. And they have pretty long legs?
Goldilocks is very much Puppy
I say puppy because she is loyal if a little naive, fun if a little ditzy and may need to be toilet trained. Joke. And it would be a golden retreiver puppy if you want to be specific.
Boyfriend is difficult...H would want me to say wolf but I don't think he is. He's a Stag.
Stags just remind me of like pure male power and yet they are graceful, much like Boyf and his dancing. And I love them in general. They are horny too....gettit!?
The Thin One is a Giraffe
Thin for one thing and a little kooky looking but most people love giraffes despite their weirdness. What animal looks like a giraffe exactly?! So individual. Blue tongues too. Oh and they can't make a noise.
Darling One is a Cat
Sh'e so small she could fit into tiny spaces like cats and she's just precious! Lazy, likes lying in the sun and yet she'll play like a kitten.
Creep is probably a Snake
Nothing too dangerous though! He's smart and very determined to get what he wants like academic goals and things and strangling prey... And they are a little creepy- but in a good way.
Wall Flower is definately a Racoon
Just her eyes remind me so much of a racoon, but fluffy tail but agitated and on edge, you just want to hug them - or is that just me?
Fungi is absolutely 100% a Bear
So fluffy and loveable and you can train them to dance - need I say more?
Cheshire is a Lynx
She'd definately a cat because I just love all cats but my favourite is the lynx, untamable wild cat that can also be ginger.
P. Diddy is an Orangutan
Who doesn't love them? They are weird but strangely nifty with their hands - I mean fast typing skills nothing suspect you dirty gits!
Anyone that I have missed and wants an animal can comment! (l)
Previously Curltop will now be Llama
Llamas have curly fur, I think, so that will help me remember. I like llamas, but not when they spit. And this guy can spit some pretty nasty stuff but bless him he doesn't mean it. And they have pretty long legs?
Goldilocks is very much Puppy
I say puppy because she is loyal if a little naive, fun if a little ditzy and may need to be toilet trained. Joke. And it would be a golden retreiver puppy if you want to be specific.
Boyfriend is difficult...H would want me to say wolf but I don't think he is. He's a Stag.
Stags just remind me of like pure male power and yet they are graceful, much like Boyf and his dancing. And I love them in general. They are horny too....gettit!?
The Thin One is a Giraffe
Thin for one thing and a little kooky looking but most people love giraffes despite their weirdness. What animal looks like a giraffe exactly?! So individual. Blue tongues too. Oh and they can't make a noise.
Darling One is a Cat
Sh'e so small she could fit into tiny spaces like cats and she's just precious! Lazy, likes lying in the sun and yet she'll play like a kitten.
Creep is probably a Snake
Nothing too dangerous though! He's smart and very determined to get what he wants like academic goals and things and strangling prey... And they are a little creepy- but in a good way.
Wall Flower is definately a Racoon
Just her eyes remind me so much of a racoon, but fluffy tail but agitated and on edge, you just want to hug them - or is that just me?
Fungi is absolutely 100% a Bear
So fluffy and loveable and you can train them to dance - need I say more?Cheshire is a Lynx
She'd definately a cat because I just love all cats but my favourite is the lynx, untamable wild cat that can also be ginger.
P. Diddy is an Orangutan
Who doesn't love them? They are weird but strangely nifty with their hands - I mean fast typing skills nothing suspect you dirty gits!
Anyone that I have missed and wants an animal can comment! (l)
My Day - Episode Ten
This is starting out as a My Day but will end up as a rambling. Today and yesterday the boyfriend has been away with man-flu, actually I don't know for sure, he could be half-cut in a field and I wouldn't know - mental note to wring him after blog post is done.
Philosophy today really got me thinking. First of all we decided to allocate animals to different people. Teacher got owl because he's so wise and very watchful and analytic and he looks a bit like one, a thin one.
The inside-out-sock-wearer got a frog because he never speaks, he just sits there looking sleepy and bored.
The girl-who-covers-her-mouth-when-she-laughs got a cheshire cat because she tends to smile alot with this knowing look. Those are the few that were most interesting, I got a meerkat because apparently I always look very alert and alive, popping my head up a lot. I think that's pretty suitable.
Then we ended up talking about friendships and relationships, how people deal with arguments. Wise Owl said that when he and his wife argue he busies himself so he won't have to confront them. I ended up talking about when me and my babe fell out and didn't speak for eight months. Was a little weird thinking back on it. We just gave up on hating each other in the end.
And then we spoke about love. Wise Owl came up with this theory that partners should bring out the best in other people but not be selfish with one another. If a couple only like to be together alone then it's probably not a good relationship. If someone loves someone they would want to share their loveliness with everyone and be happy to be apart because love doesn't depend on distance.
Real love is when you can experience lots of wonderful eye-opening new things and travel the world alone and you will still go home to that one person because you want to and be very very happy that it is them there and no-one else. I totally agree. I may be a cheater and unfaithful but I always chose Boyfriend over them, isn't that a stronger love than just never checking to see the grass is greener and still returning?
Philosophy today really got me thinking. First of all we decided to allocate animals to different people. Teacher got owl because he's so wise and very watchful and analytic and he looks a bit like one, a thin one.
The inside-out-sock-wearer got a frog because he never speaks, he just sits there looking sleepy and bored.
The girl-who-covers-her-mouth-when-she-laughs got a cheshire cat because she tends to smile alot with this knowing look. Those are the few that were most interesting, I got a meerkat because apparently I always look very alert and alive, popping my head up a lot. I think that's pretty suitable.
Then we ended up talking about friendships and relationships, how people deal with arguments. Wise Owl said that when he and his wife argue he busies himself so he won't have to confront them. I ended up talking about when me and my babe fell out and didn't speak for eight months. Was a little weird thinking back on it. We just gave up on hating each other in the end.
And then we spoke about love. Wise Owl came up with this theory that partners should bring out the best in other people but not be selfish with one another. If a couple only like to be together alone then it's probably not a good relationship. If someone loves someone they would want to share their loveliness with everyone and be happy to be apart because love doesn't depend on distance.
Real love is when you can experience lots of wonderful eye-opening new things and travel the world alone and you will still go home to that one person because you want to and be very very happy that it is them there and no-one else. I totally agree. I may be a cheater and unfaithful but I always chose Boyfriend over them, isn't that a stronger love than just never checking to see the grass is greener and still returning?
Monday, 1 February 2010
Loosing Belly Dancing Virginity
I will admit, I had never gone belly dancing before today.
I went.
I danced.
I enjoyed very much thankyou.
Only problem was that I felt like I was being encouraged to try and seduce fifty-something year old female instructor. Feel violated.
But still, my belly hurts, my hips ache and don't even get me started on the top of my spine.
Much recommend!
I went.
I danced.
I enjoyed very much thankyou.
Only problem was that I felt like I was being encouraged to try and seduce fifty-something year old female instructor. Feel violated.
But still, my belly hurts, my hips ache and don't even get me started on the top of my spine.
Much recommend!
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