My Day - Episode Nineteen

I was going to do a general rant but to be honest most of the stuff that I'm going to rant about happened today, so it's a half My Day blog.

Okay so this morning we had a talk to round out about yesterday and the pressure they are putting on us to get things sorted about a year earlier is intense, I don't do well under pressure. Like I break down and cry. (Crying features a lot today by the way.)

Then in English I was close to tears because I was really lagging behind and I feel that in the exam I just won't be able to apply the time limits, I write too much. So when Miss was like "It's alright Becca, you'll get better." I was LITERALLY biting the inside of my cheek so hard so I wouldn't start tearing up.

In IEC today I realised how much I really hate year nines, and also how much I like teaching people who are willing to learn. One guy just never puts pen to paper although he is perfectly capable of doing it and it infuriates me as he is right, I don't have any authority to make him do anything. But then another girl who used to never work now calls me over and I help her, and she finishes the work early and all to a higher level with just me giving the odd prompt.

Then in the second IEC I was teaching, once again year nines, I just felt so useless. All of these kids were milling round me and I felt like a rock in a river, completely out of place and resisting the flow. So I went up to the teacher I was working with, faked a headache and teared up a little and he let me leave. So I ran away in hopes I could find solace in the arms of Him but of course this was one day that he was in there for the whole time and I ended up sitting, alone, upset and completely not doing anything of use. I know it wasn't his fault but I stll get upset at the fact he wasn't there when I needed him. :(

Oh not to mention that I really have lost all leadership within the Krewe. Somebody has completely taken my place, organising events left right and center. Even when I walk away, they don't follow me ONE CORRIDOR to put my lunchthing away. And I'm betting it was because They didn't move. I even had to squeeze through Him and Snake(Totally changing his name sometime.)

Then on the way home I almost got ran over by an old lady on a bike and I got sand in my eye and walked straight into a lamppost. I bumped my head on the counter in the garage and REALLY hurt myself. Then my sister kept making me feel really nervous about me Uni choices although she is only trying to keep me cautious.

So today was a shit day.

P.s The only positive thing today was my sister falling down the decking stairs which was HILARIOUS. I did my real laugh for AGES and realised how long it has been since I have actually laughed that real-ly....which then depressed me.